I just got ghosted by someone I wanted to befriend and I don't know what to do now

[Ya Boi]

There's this game store I go to play Warhammer at and there's one person who I got along with well and thought I could be friends with. The store's fairly far away, so I felt like meeting him outside it would be hard. However, on Friday he said in the store's general discord chat he was at a convention in a city close to me. On Saturday, I sent my own message out saying I was thinking of going and when everyone else (it sounded like another person was there) would be there, which led to us making a plan to meet up around 11.

I got there at 11, left around 3, and not once did I see him. I sent him multiple message on discord as both private messages and in the store server, but he never answered them. I feel so betrayed and angry. I felt like we were getting along well and no he ghosts me after agreeing to meet up.

I don't know what to do about this. Should I stop trying to be friends with him? Should I stop going to that store altogether now because of him (he was the person I felt closest to)? I don't know what excuse he could have for not showing up and not responding to my messages that would make things ok.

Edit: he just respond with "Hey sorry yeah I was there idk if we bumped into each other I spent most of my time downstairs" Downstairs was where all the booths and games were. I was mostly upstairs where the merch was. I did go downstairs near the end of my visit, but I didn't see him.

 

[Judge]

Edit: he just respond with "Hey sorry yeah I was there idk if we bumped into each other I spent most of my time downstairs" Downstairs was where all the booths and games were. I was mostly upstairs where the merch was. I did go downstairs near the end of my visit, but I didn't see him.

That's not what I'd refer to as being "ghosted". "Flaky" perhaps, but not ghosted. IMO to truly be "ghosted" is a final- and permanent act. Where no further contact takes place. When a person is gone and there's nothing left to do.

However that said, anyone so "flaky" in such a way IMO is cause not to want to bother attempting to socialize with them at all. That if you don't hear from them, leave it at that and just move on anyways. They aren't worth your time.

Some people can be horribly casual when it comes socializing. Whether they mean to be or not. -"Flakes".

 

[Jonn]

That if you don't hear from them, leave it at that and just move on anyways. They aren't worth your time.

Agreed.

Let them make the next step.
In the meantime, just move on with your life.
You can't force a friendship.

 

[Rodafina]

I agree with @Judge that this isn't the classic form of "ghosting." Rather, you are learning more about this person and how they communicate and how they socialize. It doesn't sound like someone I could manage being friends with.

One unfortunate effect of getting to know people better is that sometimes we learn things about them that tell us they are not a good fit for us.

Sorry you had that experience, though. I've been there - waiting for someone who never showed, wondering where I misunderstood something.

 

[Cryptid]

I just got ghosted by someone I wanted to befriend and I don't know what to do now.

Shrug it off. Being ghosted is not under your control. Move on and find another friend.

 

[FilterFreq]

Some people can be horribly casual when it comes socializing. Whether they mean to be or not. -"Flakes".

I agree with this for sure. I also have a really hard time figuring out why people turn into flakes suddenly and then other times are totally normal, but maybe it's situation-dependent.

 

[AprilR]

I had a similar experience as well. I am sorry things did not work out with this person, i hope you can find better friends