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I have developed a fear of driving

AngelWings17 said:
There's really only one person I can drive with that I don't completely flip **** over. And she hasn't had time to teach me lately. (And no, it's not my mother. I refuse to drive with her.)
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My father ended up refusing to help me learn to drive a stick shift. He simply didn't have the patience. My mother had infinite patience along such lines, and I eventually figured it out.

One thing for sure, whomever is teaching you to drive, you certainly do have to have a comfort level with them. In your case, it seems paramount. That you will learn to drive, but you may have to find just the right person you feel best about in teaching you.

Of course my driver's ed teacher was the high school baseball coach, and he certainly wasn't slapping anyone's thighs for any reason.
 
Judge said:
My father ended up refusing to help me learn to drive a stick shift. He simply didn't have the patience. My mother had infinite patience along such lines, and I eventually figured it out.

One thing for sure, whomever is teaching you to drive, you certainly do have to have a comfort level with them. In your case, it seems paramount. That you will learn to drive, but you may have to find just the right person you feel best about in teaching you.
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I was talking to her yesterday, and we'll resume lessons soon. She just has a lot of personal things going on in her life right now.
 
Gary DuBois said:
he problably touched other girls and who knows maybe he had sex with a few :(
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Makes me cringe just thinking about it.

Here's my review on the class:
If I could give negative scores, I would.

This guy is an absolute creep! I liked driving before I started taking his classes, but now I'm absolutely terrified to get behind the wheel because of him. He kept yelling, grabbing the wheel, touching my leg, and I don't even think my mom likes him all that much either.

I really wish I had gone elsewhere. If you guys are wise unlike I was, spend the little extra and sign up for a different driving school. When I have kids, I'm not even going to give this driving school as an option.

And his reply:
I searched my records and did not find a Robin Nickerson in any previous program. This negative reply is false with no verifiable proof of what is stated and misleading others from enrolling into the excellent driver education program I provide to this community since 2004.
False statements are; touching leg & yelling, never happened this is a lie.
If this 16 year old girl writing this review is for real then my reply to her is that she was not able to achieve safe operation of the vehicle through my training, got very frustrated with her inability to do so and then blames me for this.
Robin if for real probably falls into the 10% of students that are attempting to drive using their eyesight in a very ineffective manor, termed as tunnel vision. This is a mental disorder is very similar to fear of heights or claustrophobia, their brain will not allow them to take their eyesight out the windshield and view a short distance of 150 feet to the front in fear of crashing. These students have no visual search pattern, no mirror usage, brake late, make wide turns and pass through left hand curves dangerously.
Attempting to train students with Tunnel Vision is difficult, most will coached out of it within 6 hours of training and then there are those who just can't, they are stuck in a rut and do not progress. Training becomes very frustrating to them and some like Robin get angry.
In closing, please don't take this review for final judgment of my training, ask others who have attended for their opinion, I assure you it will be positive.
 
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If he were professional, he would have never mentioned a name in his response - as he did, his actions are probably against company policy of the company that he works for, or did work for.
 
Keigan said:
If he were professional, he would have never mentioned a name in his response - as he did, his actions are probably against company policy of the company that he works for, or did work for.
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The driving school was his own. He was the owner of it.
 
Don't worry, his actions determine the responses he will receive.

Have you considered a different driving school? Potentially one with a female instructor might help.

Please keep trying, driving is such an important skill to help us in our lives.
 
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Keigan said:
Don't worry, he'll get what he deserves.

Have you considered a different driving school? Potentially one with a female instructor might help.

Please keep trying, driving is such an important skill to help us in our lives.
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Maybe if I ever get the money for it and don't have my license by the end of the year. My goal is to have it around my birthday in June, but that might not happen at this point. I don't even have the availability to get my mental disorders taken care of.
 
One step at a time.

Prioritize what you want to achieve and understand the steps and resources required to realize your objective, lay out a plan and work the plan. You might need to alter the plan as things move forward and life changes, though eventually your objective will come to life and become a part of who you are.
 
Keigan said:
One step at a time.

Prioritize what you want to achieve and understand the steps and resources required to realize your objective, lay out a plan and work the plan. You might need to alter the plan as things move forward and life changes, though eventually your objective will come to life and become a part of who you are.
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You have been the most helpful commenter so far. Thank you.
 
You encountered an event that did not go well, the most important thing is that you learn from the event and not allow the event to set you back, don't let it derail you from your objectives.

You can't control the un-professional actions of others, or their creepy actions and comments. The best you can do is to protect yourself from behavior like that, by standing up for yourself and saying "no, this is not right" in a manner that is more professional and more respectful than they are.

I'm a admirer of a a very old and wise book on warfair "The Art of War", one of the teaching of the philosophy is to "allow your enemy to destroy themselves". Anyone can do this by being more human, more professional, more balanced, more respectful - than those who do us wrong or treat us inappropriately. Be different and when you can be more. Gain strength for yourself by continuing on your path and plan to achieve your objectives without causing direct harm to others.
 
Keigan said:
You encountered an event that did not go well, the most important thing is that you learn from the event and not allow the event to set you back, don't let it derail you from your objectives.

You can't control the un-professional actions of others, or their creepy actions and comments. The best you can do is to protect yourself from behavior like that, by standing up for yourself and saying "no, this is not right" in a manner that is more professional and more respectful than they are.

I'm a admirer of a a very old and wise book on warfair "The Art of War", one of the teaching of the philosophy is to "allow your enemy to destroy themselves". Anyone can do this by being more human, more professional, more balanced, more respectful - than those who do us wrong or treat us inappropriately. Be different and when you can be more. Gain strength for yourself by continuing on your path and plan to achieve your objectives without causing direct harm to others.
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This is extremely helpful advice. Again, I say, thank you.
 
I have never cared for driving that much, but lately it has been getting worse and worse. I didn't have access to a car for a while, and recently tried to drive again and it was terrifying. Especially on the highway and at night. I feel like I just can't process what is going on fast enough, and there are too many things going on around me at once, and it's too hard to focus. So yes, I feel your pain. I panic every time I get behind the wheel.
 
AngelWings17 said:
He slapped my upper thigh a number of times. For the first time driving with a licensed instructor, I wanted to drop the class, but it was only a few weeks.
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This behavior by your instructor is considered to be sexual assault in the USA. He can be prosecuted and lose his instructor's license and he should not be doing that work anyway.

I have helped quite a few people recover from fear of driving and even done small brushups by myself.

First, I pick a large empty parking lot, preferably with a small hill on it. A business or church during off hours can be a good choice. I mostly have done this with people who are using stick or semiautomatic shifts, but it works a lot the same for automatic shifts.

If someone is very badly freaked out, I will just have them sit in the driver's seat and turn the ignition on and off a few times. That can be enough for a first session for very badly frightened people.

Then I have them put the car in gear and drive very slowly forward a little, making sure we are not near anything first. If we need to, the fright victim can then put the vehicle into park and turn off the motor for a break. We repeat this until the fright victim is doing well enough to drive slowly around in a circle, not coming anywhere near anything that could be hit.

We stop and call it a day at any point where it is needed. I find it is better not to push any limits and take a break or quit for the day before the stress level gets too high.

I eventually have the fright victim back up, park in a marked parking space, and stop and start whule shifting gears on the hill. Once that is all accomplished, we go out driving on a fairly empty road without a lot of traffic lights and other scary things. We gradually move toward regular traffic.

We pull off the road and I take the driver's seat if the stress level increases very badly. We drop back to lower stress level stuff if necessary, until the fright victim is comfortable again.
 
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