I feel like suicide is the only solution.

[Aspychata]

We all support you to get help right away.. Take care of you. Get help. Dial 911. Please.

 

[Fino]

Why does your doctor keep you on medications that don't work? I've tried about twenty medications. How many have you tried?

 

[Slime_Punk]

The fact that you posted this gives me some hope, because you're crying out for help rather than doing something irreversible. In fact, it would be more worrisome if you felt this way and kept it to yourself, as a lot of people do. There's no shame in crying out like this in front of everyone, either. You did this for a reason.

Definitely talk to a professional, though.

 

[Homulilly]

See, I always tell myself that I’m going to say something helpful when another person says this, but when the times comes I’m not sure what to say…

Well, I‘ll be honest, when I was super depressed and wanted to talk about what suicidal thoughts are with another person, I hated it when people told me to go to the ER, because I knew perfectly well that I wasn’t going to do it, and everyone else was just there freaking out. Not sure what your exact situation is like right now, but I do believe you can be your own judge. On your thought that things are always getting worse—one of my therapists told me to think of a good thing that happened during the day every night. Idk, maybe you can start with one good thing each week and go from there? You’ll gradually notice more good things.

And I did see your pm, just wasn’t sure what to respond it with. Just want you to know I’m not ignoring your messages.

 

[WildCat]

Then you really should stop posting thread after thread here and seek immediate help. As in, as soon as you possibly can. This is not me belittling you or anything of the sort either if you're reading this...I have been there too though for different reasons, but doing nothing about this is only going to make your situation worse.

There is a way out of this vicious cycle of unhealthy thought taking over your life right now, but if you haven't noticed already nobody here can do it for you on the internet. Hang in there, get with a professional and start talking and listening.

 

[Markness]

Suicide is never the solution to anything. Every other option is better than that.

What do you mean by "moving forward"? And what do you mean by things going from bad to worse? What's the "good" result you're trying to get, and what's the "bad" you're trying to avoid? If you do your best then it's not your fault if things don't turn out as well as you hoped or if people don't appreciate it. Appreciate your small victories, and if things don't go right shrug and say oh well, I tried. Strive for self-satisfaction, not the approval of others.

Finding love, moving away from my control freak mother’s home, and excelling at interests instead of failing at them.

I am practically broke so I can’t further my education nor afford even a cheap apartment as well as go out socially. My physical health is declining and so is my mental health.

 

[Markness]

Should I start smoking cigarettes and drinking cheap beer even though I don’t like the smell nor taste of those things just so I can finally fit in?

 

[BrokenBoy]

Should I start smoking cigarettes and drinking cheap beer even though I don’t like the smell nor taste of those things just so I can finally fit in?

No.

 

[tree]

Should I start smoking cigarettes and drinking cheap beer even though I don’t like the smell nor taste of those things just so I can finally fit in?

*Fitting in* might be achieved by superficial changes so that
others tolerate your presence.

What I believe you're looking for is a sense of belonging,
not mere *fitting in.*

 

[Markness]

*Fitting in* might be achieved by superficial changes so that
others tolerate your presence.

What I believe you're looking for is a sense of belonging,
not mere *fitting in.*

I envy those who made bonds over music that isn’t mainstream, comics, anime, manga, video games, science fiction, fantasy, and other things “geeky/nerdy.” I either get bullied for having those interests or I get rejected by the fandoms.

 

[Jenisautistic]

hi markness


I have just recently turned 24
I have just recently turned 24 I have had many ups and downs in my life and areas where I was distraught and felt like I can never let myself up again
A lot of times I wonder what my former classmates are doing since I don’t typically go on social media at all anymore or talk any of them I try not to think about it there’s one person in particular I really cared for and I have no idea what he thinks about me at this time but I don’t care to tell you the truth because as sweet as he was I believe we drifted apart

in my day habilitation program I am a self advocate and in January everything came crashing down I had worked on a project for my groups presentation and they had to present it without me and it seems now that they got all the credit not to their fault and I should give them some credit for presenting it but I worked hard on getting that stuff and then I’ll know
they might’ve thought that a staff had done it and to be fair a staff did help a bit





After one of my other groups had a trip to Albany after my group had a trip to Albany some how i ended up not taking my medicine for about a month unintentionally I was in a daze most likely in severe disassociation
and I had just gotten medicine for my Gastroparesis and month or so is it blur but I kept thinking that I was in that place that if you haven’t known I was almost killed in at more than one point I was an embarrassment of myself I spend a lot of money on very random things for no apparent reason As if I was getting prepared to go to the hospital even though it was already in my mind that I was in the hospital anyway I ended up spending almost my entire able account and almost let my grandmother into debt and My staff from my day hab had to help me retern as much as possible but The bill still ended up sky high And it seem like there was no end in sight to my PTSD nightmare thankfully my staff was very patient with me and Eventually was able to help me get to to taking my medicine Remembering to take it and getting more because I had no idea where I put it in the first place after the trip because the nurse gives it to you in the and during the dirration of the trip and usually my grandmother Keeps track on my medicine
I was slowly getting better and I ended up not needing the hospital after all and if I were to go to one I’m sure they would make sure I was safe


The problem is when I was back into the regular reality it was like a double hit because the people who had hurt me in the past were never caught and I had to relearn this fact and realize how much I spend and how much I lost and How I am not in high school anymore and the embarrassment but luckily I was forgiven


part of me wanted to go back to the reality of my dissociation when it was in a good state
Not in the mental health state just me trying to come back to my previous reality before this all happened or believing that someone from the past somehow knew about it I’m helping or something like that it’s hard for me to talk about this particular part

I just wrote this to let you know that you are not alone

I hope you were able to see your doctor or was able to see your doctor and your medicine will be back on track

Or at least as better as you can be at this time
As for your dreams I’m not trying to say that your dreams are not possible to put Back together but it’ll take back together but it’ll take some time so try not to be hard on yourself please if you fail try to get back up again slowly crawl your way back up and based it on your dream Ja wants your goals not anybody else’s or some thing that you don’t want that someone else wants from you unless it’s to get you better and you give it a chance and it works for you

I’m saying is that it’s not going to happen overnight as you know already but in the end every little step will be worth it
It can and probably will hurt especially in the beginning but if you cut it off right now you’ll never experienced what it’s like to go though a journey and to come out stronger I guess the point of life is for you to be tested of your faith And I’m not talking about a higher power here because I want to be neutral but faith that you will be ok Faith that you can start a new chapter in your life and faith that you won’t achieve your goals and do everything that is meant for you to happen in your life And somehow along the way you’ll be able to impact others in someway

right now I am back in the advocacy group And soon will be on the quality committee I’m not saying that to boast I am moving I am moving on. A series of bridges to the other end I don’t know how many times I will almost fall off I don’t know how many times I will be running to the finish line on this case the end of the bridge but I do know if I don’t give up somehow I will get to it

And those of you who have known me for a very long Wyomi know that sometimes my association and medand those of you who have known me for a very long while may know that sometimes my disassociation can show on this forum and I have mentioned it many times in my videos that I had in the past

I’m not saying I will never have an episode or whatever they like to call it again I am not even saying that I will be prepared for it maybe I won’t maybe it will hit me right out of nowhere but I do know that whatever steps I will have to take to get better in the future if that happens I will be able to do them