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I feel as if I am battling depression on all fronts these days.

Metalhead

Video game and movie addict.
V.I.P Member
I was disappointed that I did not get much time to myself over the holidays last year, and was am also disappointed that due to staffing shortages at my office, I cannot use any vacation hours until June.

I am buying a plane ticket for midsummer and taking a long two week vacation then. But until that time comes, I have to keep grinding away at my job five days a week. And I also have to keep working out at the gym. And eating healthier foods. And trying to build more of a social life so that I have enough legitimate excuses to weasel my way out of family events. And I am recovering from alcohol addiction at the same time I am doing all of this. And I am fighting insomnia most nights while I am doing all of this.

I want to curl up into my bed right now and sleep the next several hours away. Instead, I have to work several hours at the office.
 

Atrapa Almas

70% INTJ + 30% ASPIE = 100% HUMAN
V.I.P Member
Every live change eats a lot of energy until it become routine. You are making lots of changes at the same time, which is great but can drain all your energy and lead to depression.

If you can focus on one change at a time, like one or two months each, until those changes are no longer percieved as changes, you will have way more energy at your disposition to face problems and bad days.

Best of luck
 

Judge

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I was disappointed that I did not get much time to myself over the holidays last year, and was am also disappointed that due to staffing shortages at my office, I cannot use any vacation hours until June.

I am buying a plane ticket for midsummer and taking a long two week vacation then. But until that time comes, I have to keep grinding away at my job five days a week. And I also have to keep working out at the gym. And eating healthier foods. And trying to build more of a social life so that I have enough legitimate excuses to weasel my way out of family events. And I am recovering from alcohol addiction at the same time I am doing all of this. And I am fighting insomnia most nights while I am doing all of this.

I want to curl up into my bed right now and sleep the next several hours away. Instead, I have to work several hours at the office.

Again, I think you need to recognize that you're attempting to "bite off more than you can chew". That you should do such tasks incrementally, and not all at once. I suspect you don't realize how much withdrawal from alcohol can take from you. You're putting on a serious strain on your system in doing so. So you need to move at a slower pace, being mindful of just how taxing the withdrawal process alone can be.

My cousin's former husband decided once and for all to stop drinking. He went cold turkey without a physician's assistance. The combination of being determined to abruptly quit alcohol with a complete lack of understanding of the physiological consequences...it literally killed him. Please consider slowing down and limiting your objectives, spreading them all out over a longer time while you focus on quitting alcohol.
 

Metalhead

Video game and movie addict.
V.I.P Member
Again, I think you need to recognize that you're attempting to "bite off more than you can chew". That you should do such tasks incrementally, and not all at once. I suspect you don't realize how much withdrawal from alcohol can take from you. You're putting on a serious strain on your system in doing so. So you need to move at a slower pace, being mindful of just how taxing the withdrawal process alone can be.

My cousin's former husband decided once and for all to stop drinking. He went cold turkey without a physician's assistance. The combination of being determined to abruptly quit alcohol with a complete lack of understanding of the physiological consequences...it literally killed him. Please consider slowing down and limiting your objectives, spreading them all out over a longer time while you focus on quitting alcohol.
It has been several months since my last drink. If that withdrawal was going to kill me, it would have done so already.

Yeah, I may be biting off more than I can chew with my abrupt dietary changes, my abrupt increase in physical activities and my abrupt decision to get out of the house and meet more people. I feel like I need to keep pushing myself, like taking a break from recovery is a horrible idea. Maybe I should say that taking a break should be a part of my recovery instead.
 

Rodafina

Hopefully Human
V.I.P Member
I feel like I need to keep pushing myself, like taking a break from recovery is a horrible idea. Maybe I should say that taking a break should be a part of my recovery instead.
What would taking a break from recovery look like for you?

I think the second thing you said about taking a break as being part of recovery is really insightful.
 

Aspychata

Serenity waves, beachy vibes
V.I.P Member
Change and lots of changes undertaken all at once can feel overwhelming. Then tack on no breaks, and you are a rat running on a wheel. Just see that you are making changes, progress is happening, but if you need a down day, take it. I use to tell my ex to call in sick for a mental health day. What good are you if dead from stress?

I running the depression game, probably for things outside of my control. But l upped my honesty game with those who know me. I don't cover up, l am not a pleaser and this helps alot.
 

Misery

Photo-Negative
V.I.P Member
It has been several months since my last drink. If that withdrawal was going to kill me, it would have done so already.

Yeah, I may be biting off more than I can chew with my abrupt dietary changes, my abrupt increase in physical activities and my abrupt decision to get out of the house and meet more people. I feel like I need to keep pushing myself, like taking a break from recovery is a horrible idea. Maybe I should say that taking a break should be a part of my recovery instead.

Maybe I have the wrong idea on this, but to me, the only "break" you'd take from recovery would be the one thing not acceptable: Having a drink.

Keep avoiding that, and you're recovering. That you might need a few spa days here and there or, I dunno, a bag of chips and a movie, doesnt change that.

@Judge is right, slow down. There's no reason to charge screaming at something that aint even moving... you can afford to drop the pace to a nice pleasant walk instead. Heck, the more stressed out you keep yourself, the more likely that urge to have a drink is going to pester you, because you likely associate that with relief, I'd imagine. And really, you're doing well as it is. Many people never make it even to the "one week without" point, but you've well since passed that, eh? Gotta give yourself some major credit here.

As for the vacation thing, correct me if there's something I dont understand, but do you REALLY need to wait until summer? I mean, staffing shortages sounds like a "them" problem, not a "you" problem. I know I'd just go straight for it. Then again, I aint exactly an expert on jobs.
 

Rodafina

Hopefully Human
V.I.P Member
Maybe I have the wrong idea on this, but to me, the only "break" you'd take from recovery would be the one thing not acceptable: Having a drink.
That’s what I was afraid of. I hope that’s not what you mean, Metalhead.

Taking a break, no matter what it means also plays into the all or nothing thinking. Either full steam ahead or a break from it. It makes sense to me what people are saying about slowing down a little, lowering the expectations, and engaging in the long slow marathon over any kind of sprint.
 

Metalhead

Video game and movie addict.
V.I.P Member
That’s what I was afraid of. I hope that’s not what you mean, Metalhead.

Taking a break, no matter what it means also plays into the all or nothing thinking. Either full steam ahead or a break from it. It makes sense to me what people are saying about slowing down a little, lowering the expectations, and engaging in the long slow marathon over any kind of sprint.
That was not what I meant by taking a break from recovery. What I meant by that was something like having a lazy week on some beach with a book in my hands.
 

Alaric593

Well-Known Member
The human body is amazing. The more energy you use the more you have. When I don't excercise for a couple days or move around I am useless to the world.
 

Rodafina

Hopefully Human
V.I.P Member
That was not what I meant by taking a break from recovery. What I meant by that was something like having a lazy week on some beach with a book in my hands.
My counselor keeps reminding me sobriety first, and I agree with him. Without that, nothing else is possible for an addict like myself. When I need to prioritize, it is sobriety and sleeping. Everything else can come with time.
 

Storm Hess

Permanent Spaceman
I was disappointed that I did not get much time to myself over the holidays last year, and was am also disappointed that due to staffing shortages at my office, I cannot use any vacation hours until June.

I am buying a plane ticket for midsummer and taking a long two week vacation then. But until that time comes, I have to keep grinding away at my job five days a week. And I also have to keep working out at the gym. And eating healthier foods. And trying to build more of a social life so that I have enough legitimate excuses to weasel my way out of family events. And I am recovering from alcohol addiction at the same time I am doing all of this. And I am fighting insomnia most nights while I am doing all of this.

I want to curl up into my bed right now and sleep the next several hours away. Instead, I have to work several hours at the office.
When was the last time you had your testosterone level checked? AS men get older, we lose a great deal of testosterone which can our mood and drive dramatically. Just a thought.
 

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