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I dont think im human

Annaa

Annaa

Well-Known Member
I'm tired I feel like im a robot or an alien between humans, they all look like dumb animals to me.
I'm hyperaware of everything I'm incable of believing in any Abrahamic religion wich makes me a weirdo in so many eyes I'm weird I don't think I'm capable of having fun. I like having deep conversations and don't understand the normal conversations people do I don't get it.
I hate it I'm so tired I wanna be normal.
Life doesn't feel worth living maybe I should just be alone
 
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Annaa said:
I'm tired I feel like im a robot or an alien between humans, they all look like dumb animals to me.
I'm hyperaware of everything I'm incable of believing in any Abrahamic religion wich makes me a weirdo in so many eyes I'm weird I don't think I'm capable of having fun. I like having deep conversations and don't understand the normal conversations people do I don't get it.
I hate it I'm so tired I wanna be normal.
Life doesn't feel worth living maybe I should just be alone
Click to expand...
Why worry? What's so great about being "the norm?"

I can't believe in Abrahamic or any religion either. I have formed my own theories based on facts that can be proven.

I also like deep conversations. I can get a laugh out of listening to what humans talk about. It's what they find interesting and important that I don't understand.
Perhaps it just isn't encoded into some of our DNA to feel and desire what 99% of most others feel naturally as their bodies mature.
Having more profound interests than who won the last football game, what some politician is saying or "let me tell you about my grandchildren and their new puppy..." on the cell phones stuff doesn't make me miserable. Why should it?
Hyperawareness is wonderful. You'll appreciate and know things most overlook.

I don't see them as dumb animals because I don't see animals as dumb.
Humans just seem to think they are the ultimate creation on the planet.
There is a oneness in conscious connection with all things if you are open to it. ✨
 
Annaa said:
I'm tired I feel like im a robot or an alien between humans, they all look like dumb animals to me.
I'm hyperaware of everything I'm incable of believing in any Abrahamic religion wich makes me a weirdo in so many eyes I'm weird I don't think I'm capable of having fun. I like having deep conversations and don't understand the normal conversations people do I don't get it.
I hate it I'm so tired I wanna be normal.
Life doesn't feel worth living maybe I should just be alone
Click to expand...
I see where you are going with all of this... and I think we can all empathize and sympathize with this sort of thinking at some level. I often feel like a visiting alien, disguised as a human, here to observe. I am present and aware, but not able to "connect" with neurotypicals... and they cannot connect with me. Emotional neutrality is often the "resting state"... very little highs and lows. However, when strong emotions are present... they are very strong... not regulated... and it's embarrassing to loose that self control, so I push it down hard to regain that composure. I love deep conversations... really digging into topics... but have little interest in talking about people. Eyes glaze over, they cut the discussion short, and exit the interaction. Sure, it comes off as if they are of "lower intellect"... and it may be true in some cases... and it is isolating, in and of itself.

That said, given all the pros and cons that I personally experience with my autism in this world...knowing what this world has become... a neurotypical world of pain and suffering, wars, greed, divisiveness, superficial social interactions, a general lack of logic and reason, a world that is fueled by emotional thinking... I have zero interest in being "normal". I am perfectly fine separating myself, creating distance from all of "that". Life can be good if you can keep your mind and body busy, with a purpose, with goals, with direction... and that is all on you. Stop chasing what others have... jealousy and envy only lead to suffering. You do you.

"I do not think I am human." Well, there is a stream of thought that suggests that autism just might be a step in human evolution. Maybe we are feeling evolutionary "growing pains"... we just call them "symptoms" because we are experiencing things that "normal" people do not experience. Maybe in a few hundred years... will autism be the "norm"? Will communication via telepathy/shared consciousness be just another form of "normal" communication for us? An interesting thought experiment.
 
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