I don't like being told I can't have a Relationship

[Markness]

Great then try going to those type of websites and look for anything your area that might bring out that type! The fact that u use the word partner is also very mature of you. So maybe try to check out any free coding classes around you, any conventions, those bring out lots of people too. Coffee shops bring out geeks alot.

This great to hear, you have ideas of what you like so now you know where to pursue woman with interests like you.

Well, I have tried different avenues to find a geeky partner. I’ve been to college, attended conventions, Meet Up groups, and music shows but they haven’t translated to meeting potential partners.

 

[Au Naturel]

Nobody ever cures depression but one can mitigate. Don't let anyone tell you that there's a quick cure for any serious psychological issue. A real solution may involve therapy, anti-depressents and a change of scenery. It doesn't cure the problem, just makes it tolerable. Eventually it may just do away but that's decades.

 

[Markness]

I’ve been clinically depressed since I was 17. Is that considered normal or abnormal?

 

[Varzar]

I’ve been clinically depressed since I was 17. Is that considered normal or abnormal?

What is normal anyways? And does it matter? Find the people that appreciate you for who you are, and stick with them. They'll consider you normal, everyone else will think you're odd. But they aren't your people, so who cares what they think. Just be true to you and treat the people that appreciate you for who you are with respect and love.

 

[Fino]

I suffered from depression for over a decade and was cured in an instant.

 

[Au Naturel]

I’ve been clinically depressed since I was 17. Is that considered normal or abnormal?

I would probably have been diagnosed as clinically depressed much earlier than that. I was probably born depressed but I didn't have anything to compare it to until I went to school. I was thinking about suicide in 5th grade.

A lot of people become depressed in adolescence. A combination of wild hormonal changes and the highest social demands you'll ever experience. So, in that sense, there are a lot of other people who experienced the same thing.

 

[Markness]

I don’t like being told I can’t have a relationship. So many are against me from having one and will speak down to me from wanting one. It’s ok for them to have relationships but if I desire the same, they tear me apart. It’s like they think it’s a horrible thing I want love and want to discourage me completely. They tell me “You don’t need a girlfriend.”, “There is more to life than a girlfriend.”, “You need to work on yourself and it will take five to ten years.”, “You’re a creep.”, “I don’t want you to have a girlfriend.”, “You’ll never get a chick.”, “You just need platonic friends and that should be enough.”, and other demeaning things.

It’s painful to be told these things and it makes me unhappy. Why can’t anyone see how much it hurts me?

 

[tree]

@Markness
They tell me “You don’t need a girlfriend.”, “There is more to life than a girlfriend.”, “You need to work on yourself and it will take five to ten years.”, “You’re a creep.”, “I don’t want you to have a girlfriend.”, “You’ll never get a chick.”, “You just need platonic friends and that should be enough.”, and other demeaning things.



Who are these "they" people?
Who is telling you those things?

 

[Aspychata]

My daughter was depressed since preteen, and she has been in a longterm relationship. So you got this.☺

 

[GadAbout]

I don’t like being told I can’t have a relationship. So many are against me from having one and will speak down to me from wanting one. It’s ok for them to have relationships but if I desire the same, they tear me apart. It’s like they think it’s a horrible thing I want love and want to discourage me completely. They tell me “You don’t need a girlfriend.”, “There is more to life than a girlfriend.”, “You need to work on yourself and it will take five to ten years.”, “You’re a creep.”, “I don’t want you to have a girlfriend.”, “You’ll never get a chick.”, “You just need platonic friends and that should be enough.”, and other demeaning things.

It’s painful to be told these things and it makes me unhappy. Why can’t anyone see how much it hurts me?

Look, you're autistic. You need to bear in mind that you suck at knowing what other people's feelings and motivations are. One of the silliest things I've seen you say is "people told me they don't want me to have a girlfriend." Prove it. Link to one post where someone actually said that.

Instead, you THINK that's how they feel. Trust me, no one cares whether you do or don't have a girlfriend. I do think a lot of people are tired of hearing you talk about it. Or I'll just speak for myself. This is a boring topic, so please, PLEASE will you stop beating this dead horse, at least on this site?

You want reassurance, but however much you get, it seems that it is never enough. I'm tired of it.

 

[Misery]

Look, you're autistic. You need to bear in mind that you suck at knowing what other people's feelings and motivations are. One of the silliest things I've seen you say is "people told me they don't want me to have a girlfriend." Prove it. Link to one post where someone actually said that.

Aye, I agree with this.

First of all, anyone who is GENUINELY telling you these things, with actual direct words, is merely a bully... nothing more, nothing less. And anything a bully says isnt worth the mental effort it takes to process. The dirt on your shoes is worth more. Ignore fools like that.

HOWEVER, there is one line that makes sense: "There is more to life than a girlfriend", and this is true. That's not a line that's telling you "LOL you cant have one". That's a line that could be said with deep concern over the fact of how much damage this obsession of yours is doing. Sure, a bully may say something like that if they want. But a close friend who cares also could.

I've said certain things before, and I'm going to say it again: Simply obsessing over this is NOT going to do it for you. That's not how relationships start. What's more, many people... NTs in particular... can tell right from the start when the obsession is there, and it will tend to push people away. They dont want to deal with that. It is typically considered to be an unhealthy way of thinking, and an even more unhealthy way of starting a relationship... it is bound to lead only to disaster of a different sort. That seriously, SERIOUSLY is not how a successful match is formed. At all.

Nor is it going to be found by going to silly things like dating events. Which, as I've said before, usually just exist to make money for the people running it. Dating apps are like that too.

You will not progress until you can get out of this rut you're in and STOP obsessing over it. You may not like hearing it, but it's the truth. But we cant do that for you. YOU have to do it. And until you do, this cycle is simply going to continue. That's merely how it works.

And really, many of us have said all these things before. We want you to succeed and will support you as we can, but this IS just a forum. Nobody here can make the decisions or take the actions for you. We CAN however give advice, but what good is any of it when it is just ignored?

You GOTTA break out of this obsessive focus on this. Or it's just going to keep hurting.