I an high functioning autistic and I have a gf what are sweet things I can do for her

[Titan04]

What are sweet things I can do and what are ways I can help her understand me she all ready dose well but if I could help her understand me better tht would be great and I'm 13 btw

 

[Datura]

You asked two questions, so I will address them one at a time. There are a number of sweet things you can do for her.

• Present her with a single rose
• Go for a walk together along a scenic trail
• Give her a small gift specific to her interests and personality (this shows you have been listening to her)
• Watch a romantic movie together
• Slow dance with each other
• Look at the stars together, or watch a sunrise
• If it isn't overwhelming for you, go out to fairs and festivals together

As for getting her to understand you; this is something that will take time. My best advice is to be open and honest in your communications about how things make you feel. It might also help if you can find some short videos and articles that articulate what it is like to live with Asperger's. Try not to overwhelm her with too much information at once. Likewise, share your interests with her and allow her to do the same with you. Make it clear that if you are boring her by fixating on a topic for too long that she can let you know and you can change the topic.

I hope this helps. Relationships were never my greatest strength, but you do learn some things after 30 years on this planet.

 

[Peeta]

Some 'easy' things to do for a girl would be:
- Compliment her once in a while. Of course you don't have to do it all the time, but every once in a while a girl likes to her that her bf/gf think they're cute, look nice in a dress, have a nice hairdo etc.
- Tell her you love her on semi regular basis. Not every day, that will lose the specialness. But try to do at least 2-3 times a month and -mean it-. Don't treat it as a chore.
- Touch her, hug her, put your arm around her. Physical affection is important. Softly squeeze in her arm or shoulder when walking past her is already a big indicator for a woman that you like her.
- Show that you listen. Remember what she's said.
- When a girl tells you something upsets her apologize for making her feel that way. This doesn't mean you always have to cave. This is for those instances when you actually did something that you agree was stupid, but also if you thought you did nothing wrong. In the second case say something like 'well, that wasn't my intention/I don't think that my behavior was bad, but I do feel bad for making you feel bad'. That way you can discuss about communication, your point of view but also show that you're considerate of her feelings and that you validate the fact that she was upset about something. (This also works for the 'getting her to understand me better' part)

 

[kyliewyote]

It's the little things, not the ones written in magazines for Valentines. Holding the door (chivalry is not dead), leaving a little note hidden somewhere for her, listening to her (and maybe asking her later about one of the details), suggesting to do an activity she likes, even if you are not fond of it. I was married for 11 years to "selfish", and nothing hurts more than always being secondary.

Harrison (one of the frequent posters here), commented in a string that was about "what is the definition of love?". He said that love is wanting the other person happy ahead of yourself (or something along those lines). I've carried that thought with me since reading it....

 

[qwerty]

Your 13 so, buy her some m&m's and go see a movie she likes, ask her about her interests, do some fun things. You two obviously like each others company so have fun together and don't overthink things.

 

[tree]

I liked going to the playground with a boy, when we were 'too old'
for going to the playground, and using the teeter-totter.

There should be play grounds for grown people, I thought.
Not just theme parks.....

 

[Mia]

Don't hit her, or put her down, or make her uncomfortable if she does something you don't like, she doesn't understand everything. Do stuff together that's fun, and makes you both laugh, you can both be silly. Go on adventures even if its
just down the street.