Hypersensitivity - the eternal battle with touch

[Bel]

I currently spend a lot of time with my boyfriend, and he's very very touchy and clingy. During food, getting ready or any time really, the problem is... Touch feels so uncomfortable to me it's almost painful. It feels like a spark going off in my brain like the flash of a camera.

I flinch, whimper, and recoil on occasions with his touches, even if they are a touch on the back or a sudden unexpected hug. I try to hide how it makes me feel but I cannot help it hurting or overloading my brain. I try to make it up to him in other ways. I fully communicate to him now how bad it is, and try to keep him informed.

However recently he has been using it as an excuse not to do anything/plan anything nice. He says he doesn't feel like doing anything because I shrink away from touch. But I'm thinking that shouldn't stop someone from perhaps planning a cup of coffee or visiting a park...
He has recently also become quite hostile about it and resorts to shouting.

I'm unsure how to repair this barrier, or what I can do to prevent the pain that follows being touched. If anyone else experiences this, I would love your take on this

Thank you

X

 

[Ste11aeres]

IN brutal honesty, maybe the two of you aren't compatible.

 

[AsheSkyler]

Aye. If you've been open about your problems and made it clear that it's not that you find him repulsive it's just your overactive nerve endings, and he's still taking it personal, might be time to cut your losses.

 

[Hidden]

I think I have this too, but not as often. It only really happens with very light touches around my ribs, sides and stomach. But when it does, it's really painful, like an extremely strong electric shock. Yeah, I'm sorry, but basically what AsheSkyler said.

 

[Harrison]

It only really happens with very light touches around my ribs, sides and stomach. But when it does, it's really painful, like an extremely strong electric shock.

^This^

My masseuse is a deep tissue practitioner which is great as it's heavy pressure. Occasionally though, she will walk around to the other side whilst keeping a very light touch on my lower back. Drives me nuts, told her that it actually hurts but she thinks I'm kidding.

 

[Spiller]

Touch feels so uncomfortable to me it's almost painful. It feels like a spark going off in my brain like the flash of a camera.

I have this with many people, even with people standing near me, worse sometimes than others. But I've learned to desensitise myself for my partners; starting off with sitting close, touching fingertips and working up.
If I love that person romantically, I find it easier to handle.
Still struggle even with my mum & sister, but don't need to touch them much & they understand, thankfully.