Obviously, if you've read some of my posts, you know that I have been with the same woman for nearly 40 years. We've figured things out by now. However, I am also very much autistic from a social and communication perspective and understand what that means in terms of initiating and maintaining a relationship. I am also Gen X, so I am rather in the mindset of gender roles, chivalry, treating a woman like a lady, being protective, being mentally and physically strong, and not putting up with other people's crap.
At lot to chew on here in these 3 posts, but just some thoughts:
(1). If you are autistic, like me, you will likely have some degree of "mind-blindness" in the sense that the only perspective you can fully appreciate is your own. You are not a mind reader. In fact, I have come to the conclusion that I have zero idea what my wife is thinking at any given time. I will never, ever know her. This is my curse, and I have to live with that. I always have to ask her things. If I try to put myself in her shoes and come to some conclusion as to what she might be thinking, I will likely be wrong, and again, this is someone I've lived with for some 40 years. It's the type of silent disability that, if you don't recognize it and accept it, it will destroy a relationship in short order.
(2). On the other hand, it is also common for many autistics to not have a lot of facial expressions and have their voice inflections, body language, and other non-verbal communication match their verbal communication. We've had these discussions about someone "looking" autistic, as in a photo. Once you recognize it, it becomes rather obvious, but I tend to see it more in adult males. This general lack of facial muscle engagement around the eyes, forehead, cheekbones, and mouth. It can come off as rather "unexpressive", and if someone is seeing this, it's very difficult for them to "read". At any rate, it's all this nuanced, micro-expressions, voice intonation, body language, etc. that most neurotypicals key in on and respond to during day-to-day interactions. Something that many autistics struggle with. Within the context of your comment above about your partner not recognizing your needs and wants, and expecting him to just "know" is not fair at all. I always have to ask. I don't understand hints, either. It has zero to do with being some sort of soul-mate. My wife and I are soul mates, but we still have to communicate effectively.
(3). There are males that are insecure and are struggling with that in rather toxic ways, usually controlling behaviors (mentally and physically), but also tend to be loud, boisterous, dressing a certain way, driving certain types of vehicles, all in some attempt to come off as "tough" or "alpha". When presented with a strong, independent woman, they will either reject or try to control. Best to steer clear of this sort of man.
(4). Looking at other people we find attractive, watching porn, reading those "romance novels", is not always a sign that they are unsatisfied with their partners. We are human beings and marriage is something relatively new to our species. Sure, there are plenty of good reasons to have a committed, monogamous relationship with someone, that's well established and no argument there. However, Sure, if you are insecure, it may come off as disrespectful. If you are not insecure in your relationship, then it's something you can tease each other about. I know my wife loves watching action movies with me, not for the movie, but for these finely built, muscular actors, like Chris Hemsworth in Thor. She reads at least one "romance" novel a week, and there's a lot of descriptive sex in those pages. I know that when we go out to a restaurant, there might be some guy in there that will catch her eye. At 58 years old, when I see that, I know she hasn't given up on life, but it doesn't stop me from playfully teasing her about it from time to time. It's OK.
(5). Then you bring up "feminist crap". Having grown up with feminism in the 70's until now, it has really changed. My wife is an "old school" feminist. Very independent, has her career, makes her own money, doesn't take any crap from men. However, still grounded in the fact that she recognizes the benefits of marriage, a strong and respectful husband and father to her children, and that men, in general, are responsible for building and maintaining nearly all the modern conveniences and infrastructure that she enjoys in the modern world. The modern feminist narrative is that men are worthless, stupid, and disposable, and blind to the fact that the internet connection and satellites that are spreading that information are built and maintained by roughly 80% men. That the car they drive, the home they live in, the roads, the electricity, the heating and air-conditioning, the trucks that brought them their food and clothing, the clean water they use, primarily there for her because of men. So, yes, when a man is presented with one of these idiots, it's a complete turnoff. Furthermore, when this "feminist" woman expects the man to be over 6 feet tall, have a 6-pack of abs, make a 6-figure income, (less than 0.1% of the population) and not expect her to contribute to the relationship, but to just take care of her in this one-sided relationship as if they are a queen and the man is her servant, men are just going to say, NO. Then the woman gets upset and can't figure out why men are not interested in her. Well, pull your head out of your behind, sis. Not to mention the adverse effects upon children that do not have a strong, engaged father in their life:
https://americafirstpolicy.com/issues/issue-brief-fatherlessness-and-its-effects-on-american-society#:~:text=In one study, 70% of,to get As in school.
A lot here, but just a few thoughts on the topic.