How to help overstimulation (mention of drug use)

[Jane Smith]

Hi guys,

Another post about my girlfriend (who I named Jim until this point. She told me she is transgender, so now she is Rachel from now on).

How does someone help with an over stimulation problem? She says she gets over stimulated from being at work or being on the computer too much. That or the house is too messy. When she gets over stimulated she will do things like punch the wall or do drugs. She says the drugs sadly make her feel "normal". We're trying to get her off because they're a lot more severe than marijuana.

Punching a wall is what she does during her meltdowns. She also pulls her hair and shakes viciously. I manage to calm her down by laying next to her and stroking her hair.

Is there anything she can do at work to calm down? Or while I am drawing? (She watches me draw on my laptop).

The drugs are a separate ordeal. She IS in rehab and she says she'll go to therapy. Which she better go to soon.

 

[china autie]

There are (12 step) programs for the families of people who abuse substances-- Alanon, Naranon...can be found at in the rooms dot com. The online meetings you do not have to talk if you do not want to. They may be a good place to get some info that will help you. Or they may not be useful. If you do go check them out, in order to protect Rachel, you may wish to make a user name that doesn't include your own name, and do not include a city where ou are from (Or make one up).

I am glad that you aren't misgenderong your partner. That is awesome!

Autistic people are more represented in the transgender community AND in the recovery community than would be expected by population.

I heartily wish you all happiness in your journey.

For your actual question, I Don't know. Perhaps when Rachel is calm, you can ask her how she wants you to help during a meltdown or immediately afterwards.

 

[AuBurney Tuckerson]

I have trouble with the same problem. Should I make my own thread or reply to this one? I'm asking now before I mess up again and end up doing the wrong thing.

 

[Jane Smith]

Go ahead and respond to this one

 

[tree]

@AuBurney Tuckerson

It makes sense to reply to this one, since, as you say, you and the OP are
having the same problem. Share perspectives.

 

[AuBurney Tuckerson]

Ok. So my problems with overstimulation are loud noises and odors. The loud noises ate the WORST of it! I ended up tearing up the blinds in anger because of the stupid roaring engines outside (either some jerk flying a plane over the neighborhood or some loud, rumbling truck). That was before I got my ear buds, but I still tend to have anger issues, especially with noise. I end up growling and snapping (like an angry chihuahua) in the direction of the loud noises in class. (Hardly anyone notices thankfully) I ended up breaking my last headphones because something I was watching hurt my ears (that was also before I got the ear buds, but the headphones never really helped anyway; they were useless to me). I've broken stuff out of anger or pain, and the odors also drive me to the point of running out the room and spraying air freshener in my face to rid my nose of that odor (cause o still smell it after I've left the stinky area). And I need help with that because that's chemicals, but I can't help myself when I smell an odor or end up inhaling one.

Any advice?

 

[Jane Smith]

I'm going to have Rachel type for me (she is too shy to get her own account but wants to share her experience). I don't have Autism, so it's hard for me to chime in.

Rachel
: Yeah, I go through something very similar. Mostly it's the combination of multiple elements: sound, talking, light, smells, and social gatherings. Especially when I need to focus or calm down. That or when I am not allowed to get up and fidget. I don't like sitting in my chair for long periods of time.

Jane sees me often hurt myself constantly with my meltdowns, and she gets very worried. She asks me to stop, but I can't really. All she does is bring me to the bed, lay down with me, and stroke my hair. She just holds me so I don't punch myself in the face, which I do often.

She acknowledges the meltdowns are somewhat important, but she doesn't think self harm is, which I appreciate. So, maybe try this? Tell someone about your meltdown, so they can lay with you? If you know someone close to you that's willing to do that, maybe?

^^ Author edit: I, Jane, read somewhere that people don't like being touched turning meltdowns, though, so I dunno if this will work for everyone? Does anyone have a comment about this?