TheSaltyStray
Member
Being a caretaker is not an easy feat. I remember how much my mother's family was involved with my father's rehab after his stroke. His own family and sisters were completely hands-off, uninvolved, and never recognized how heavy of a toll it took on my sister, my mother and I. They also magically thought his abusive nature disappeared after his stroke too. WRONG!!! It amplified at times and I will never forget being screamed at and beaten with a cane for making him dinner, which was not what he wanted but the only thing we had living on my mother's income. He was also physically and sexual abusive before his stroke, which no one believes, because he was such "a nice guy." The truth is no one knew the true him except us who lived directly under him. His stroke never diminished his cruelty and black out rages either. I still did what I could, despite him causing my own mental break down three years ago, and fulfilled my promise as a daughter to make sure he was independent and making his own calls for himself as long as he can. I did my duty to the detriment of myself and my children. Should anyone go that far as a caretaker? Absolutely not but I had to try and I was groomed into thinking it was all my fault for everything. When he started to scream and yell at my daughter, like he did to us as children, my whole world flipped upside down. I became a person I set out and made appropriate moves to never be. Lack of support does astonishing devastation, especially when you are groomed to never speak out for help. The only person who knows the whole story is your grandparent. Do not be self sacrificing in order to "save them" but as said, small compassionate things add up to being meaningful in the long run.
