How to Communicate My Point of View

[sisselcakes]

Darlin... If you figure Out how to get him to do that, will you share the answer with 50% of America. Doesn't matter which 50.

Forgive my bluntness, but doesn't there seem to be some irony here, that you are just as sure that his believes are wrong as he is sure your beliefs are wrong. You just aren't a jerk about it. In the end isn't the best political choice the one that does the Most net good. What if conservatism actually props up the economy, and helps people. What if liberal ideology invest in people which does more net good over the long term. Not even the smartest man alive can say with absolute certainty what desicions will have the best outcome 10 years from now.

Your best bet is to try and see the value in his ideas, and then he may reciprocate seeing value in yours, but you have to be the bigger person and do it first.

Nobody in this world possesses absolute truth. Relative truth is all we know. .-Ghandi

Best

Well, sometimes I'm a little bit of a jerk about it too, just not as much. And don't worry about being blunt. I've gotten used to it. Ha ha.

Sometimes I find this site better than a good therapy session! Your response is much appreciated. I have a hard time discerning when he's being a legitimate jerk or when he just can't let go of something he doesn't understand. He questions me on a lot of things he disagrees with. He says things "baffle" him that I do. Well, he's probably never going to understand. I don't know how to explain things in a more concrete manner.

 

[sisselcakes]

Wasn't Andrew Johnson (17th) impeached, though? I'm assuming you are referring to Nixon (who I think was the 36th or so president).

Sissel:

If you want him to change his opinion, you must unravel his logic. It will never do to shout him down or whatever it is you've been trying. Give him reasons to believe what you believe – in the form of carefully derived syllogisms, not bribery.

Before you get all Socratic with him, though, be warned that that is really annoying. If you have read any of Plato's dialogues, you will know what I mean. What you might want to do instead is explain your premises.

You don't have to worry about that with me because it is way over my head. LOL. I'm okay with letting go of our differences of beliefs. I'm really tiring of what feels like interrogations and his inability (or unwillingness) to lay to rest certain issues that I will NEVER change my mind on (e.g., whether or not I take pharmaceuticals to treat depression).

 

[sisselcakes]

Please keep in mind that this site isn't the place to discuss the values of a political party or specific politicians unless it specifically involves discussions related to Autism. Political discussions that do occur related to Autism are subject to our rules about hateful comments, insults and personal attacks and will be moderated accordingly.

Thanks for your feedback and providing boundaries for discussions. The intent in starting it was not to discuss politics for the sake of politics, though I did make a few comments that may have been considered unacceptable in this forum. My intent was to get feedback about how to get through polarized subjects within the context of an ASD- NT relationship. the recent political issue is only one of several items of disagreement between my bf and I. Peace.

 

[sisselcakes]

This was copied directly from the AC rules:

Regarding Politics And Debating Religion

While we are not going to out right ban the discussions of politics we are going to limit discussions of political nature to only those that surround Autism. This site isn't the place to discuss the values of a political party or specific politicians unless it specifically involves discussions related to Autism. Political discussions that do occur related to Autism are subject to our rules about hateful comments, insults and personal attacks and will be moderated accordingly.

Regarding religious debates, we are not allowing any threads to continue to that debate religion. If a thread regarding religion or spiritual beliefs turns into a debate it will be closed and actions may be taken against those involved.

This is a community for autism and we would like to keep the concentration on that. Letting known topics such as these spiral out of control takes away from everyone on the forum.

Reiterating my previously posted comment:

Thanks for your feedback and providing boundaries for discussions. The intent in starting it was not to discuss politics for the sake of politics, though I did make a few comments that may have been considered unacceptable in this forum. My intent was to get feedback about how to get through polarized subjects within the context of an ASD- NT relationship. the recent political issue is only one of several items of disagreement between my bf and I. Peace.

 

[WereBear]

I don't think it's particularly Aspie to behave the way you describe your bf behaving. I know lots of NTs who have the same problem with empathy. It's easy to understand someone who is otherwise much like ourselves. It's a skill to understand someone who is different.

Myself, psychiatric drugs do not work. But I recognize that for others, they do. All I have to do is believe what these people say.

I think that is what might be going on here.

 

[sisselcakes]

I don't think it's particularly Aspie to behave the way you describe your bf behaving. I know lots of NTs who have the same problem with empathy. It's easy to understand someone who is otherwise much like ourselves. It's a skill to understand someone who is different.

Myself, psychiatric drugs do not work. But I recognize that for others, they do. All I have to do is believe what these people say.

I think that is what might be going on here.

All I have to do is believe what these people say. If it were only so easy for my bf. LOL. This is a simple and wise statement that I will use with him. Will see if it resonates for him and if it's something he's able and willing to do.

I'm asking him to do some reading, in particular the book Journal of Best Practices - not because I want to fix him; instead, we need to work on OUR relationship and if he doesn't get an idea of what is happening between us, this will just be a one way street. I don't expect to change him, but I do expect him to make the effort to learn some basic things, if he's able to. We both have something in the game here.

 

[sisselcakes]

I just had to share something funny.

Well, I'm not at my best bc I take medication for ADHD and depression. They seem to be failing me at the moment. My doctor is retiring so I have to find someone new. Think I need an adjustment to my current regimen.

Anyway, because my bf has been stressed about employment and we've been struggling with the whole relationship/communication thing, we're going through a rough patch.

I had come on here asking for feedback about how to relate my point of view to him. You know, the whole theory of mind thing.

So I came up with this brilliant (in my mind) strategy of making a flowchart that shows the cause and effect of certain interactions. He told me the next day he had made some "comments". Uh oh, I thought.

So, there are several subjects he has not and will not let go of in the almost 2 years we have been together. He doesn't like I'm on meds. He stresses when I don't exercise. He is very particular about food related to its healthiness.

Now he's fixated on the fact I'm into politics and he's convinced it's bad for my mental health - based on his own personal experience and "studies".

Here are his comments on one of my flowcharts and my attempt to explain my POV about why I like to follow politics. They made me burst out laughing.

 

[WereBear]

Your arguments make perfect sense to me

It's okay to disagree. If the other person lets you.

For what it is worth, he is the one in denial. Politics is the only thing that has ever worked to advance the human condition.

Science explains. Politics is what makes people live in a way that makes more sense.