How to appeal to neurodivergent women online?

[thejuice]

After a quick Google I came across Feeld. It's booming and getting mainstream media attention. It might be a bit kinky though, it's not vanilla

There's dating apps for music lovers too. A lot of musicians are like you.

 

[Wizardry]

I have been on six dates in my life. Four first dates and two second dates.

What was the context within which you managed to get those 4 dates?

 

[BrianWV39]

What was the context within which you managed to get those 4 dates?

Three of them I met on dating apps. The fourth was kind of a fringe member of a friend group I was in when I was in my early and mid-20s. She would sometimes play beach volleyball with us. She was great and super cute. I am amazed she agreed to go out with me. But she did. it was a lovely date.

 

[Wizardry]

I am decent looking for what it is worth. I stay in shape; I put a lot of work into getting exercise and keeping great personal hygiene. I have my faults in the looks department. But no one has ever thought the way I look is much of an issue.

What types exercise do you do? That might be worth mentioning in your dating profile.

The problem is with the idea of building a life with someone is I am happy with the life I have already built for myself. It wasn't like I could sit there at twenty and think- well I better wait till I have a romantic partner before I start building a life I am happy with. No, I had to build that life 100% on my own and now that I have a life that I am happy and content with people want me to change my lifestyle- no thank you. To be blunt women had the opportunity to build a life with me when I was younger, none were interested so I built a life I am happy with on my own

Wanting a relationship and not wanting to build a life with someone creates an irreconcilable contradiction. Having a romantic relationship implies an intention to build a life with your romantic partner. If you are so content with your life as it is now that you are unwilling to modify it to accommodate a prospective romantic partner, maybe it doesn't make sense to pursue a romantic relationship.

Incidentally, I'm curious as to what you actually mean when you say you've built a life for yourself. You said you're poor, you still live with your parents, you don't have a career, you don't have a social life, and you don't seem to have many hobbies or interests. What are you referring to when you say you've built a life for yourself?

 

[Wizardry]

Three of them I met on dating apps.

What was your dating app profile like back then? What did you include in your bio and what kinds of photos did you include? Also, how long ago was it that these dates happened?

If your interests are sex, weed, music, reading and writing, what did you talk about on your dates?

 

[BrianWV39]

What types exercise do you do? That might be worth mentioning in your dating profile.


Wanting a relationship and not wanting to build a life with someone creates an irreconcilable contradiction. Having a romantic relationship implies an intention to build a life with your romantic partner. If you are so content with your life as it is now that you are unwilling to modify it to accommodate a prospective romantic partner, maybe it doesn't make sense to pursue a romantic relationship.

Incidentally, I'm curious as to what you actually mean when you say you've built a life for yourself. You said you're poor, you still live with your parents, you don't have a career, you don't have a social life, and you don't seem to have many hobbies or interests. What are you referring to when you say you've built a life for yourself?

Thank you for asking, that is very kind of you, I will explain.

I do not necessarily have the same values or priorities as many other people. I am well educated, I am well read, I have multiple degrees. I live in a nice house on a few acres in a state I love and in an area I love. I help to take care of both the house and the land.

I live with family members I love and share a life with. They help me in an infinite number of ways just as I help them in an infinite number of ways. I have worked on and off for my father's business since I was a teenager.

I went to many years of therapy and counseling. I am now a very happy and content person. I have a plan for the finances for the rest of my life. I have learned the things I enjoy doing and spend as much time as I can pursing the things I enjoy

I am not interested in having kids now or ever. I know where I want to retire to (Morgantown, West Virginia if you are curious) and I know the lifestyle and hobbies I want to pursue

I am very proud and happy with the life I have built. I am not wealthy (I do not want to be) I am poor (I don't mind at all) I do not worry about comparing myself to others or entering the rat race. I like who I am, and I like people very much

I am more than aware that I am not what every woman is looking for in a relationship. And that is probably a good thing. If women were all looking for guys like me the economy might be in real trouble lol. But I do believe and think there must be women out there who do look for a guy like me. Who do want a relationship with someone with my values and lifestyle

That is who I am looking for

 

[BrianWV39]

Oh, as far as working out, moderate weightlifting, stationary bike riding, and walking I find those three exercises in moderation are awesome.

Also, a little bit of time in the sauna, we have a great sauna in my home

 

[Wizardry]

Thank you for asking, that is very kind of you, I will explain.

I do not necessarily have the same values or priorities as many other people. I am well educated, I am well read, I have multiple degrees. I live in a nice house on a few acres in a state I love and in an area I love. I help to take care of both the house and the land.

I live with family members I love and share a life with. They help me in an infinite number of ways just as I help them in an infinite number of ways. I have worked on and off for my father's business since I was a teenager.

I went to many years of therapy and counseling. I am now a very happy and content person. I have a plan for the finances for the rest of my life. I have learned the things I enjoy doing and spend as much time as I can pursing the things I enjoy

I am not interested in having kids now or ever. I know where I want to retire to (Morgantown, West Virginia if you are curious) and I know the lifestyle and hobbies I want to pursue

I am very proud and happy with the life I have built. I am not wealthy (I do not want to be) I am poor (I don't mind at all) I do not worry about comparing myself to others or entering the rat race. I like who I am, and I like people very much

I am more than aware that I am not what every woman is looking for in a relationship. And that is probably a good thing. If women were all looking for guys like me the economy might be in real trouble lol. But I do believe and think there must be women out there who do look for a guy like me. Who do want a relationship with someone with my values and lifestyle

That is who I am looking for

What degrees do you have? What do you like to read and write? These details might be worth mentioning on your dating profile. Mentioning that you're childfree would probably also be a good idea.

Oh, as far as working out, moderate weightlifting, stationary bike riding, and walking I find those three exercises in moderation are awesome.

Also, a little bit of time in the sauna, we have a great sauna in my home

So you could mention you like exercising and keeping in shape on your profile

 

[BrianWV39]

What degrees do you have? What do you like to read and write? These details might be worth mentioning on your dating profile. Mentioning that you're childfree would probably also be a good idea.


So you could mention you like exercising and keeping in shape on your profile

I have three degrees, two BA's one in English and other history. And an MA in English.

I like reading and writing online I like writing just like this

 

[Wizardry]

I have three degrees, two BA's one in English and other history. And an MA in English.

I like reading and writing online I like writing just like this

I think mentioning your degrees could be a good idea too, or at the very least, mentioning those subjects as interests.

When you're not reading and writing about your own personal issues, what do you tend to like to read and write about?

 

[BrianWV39]

I think mentioning your degrees could be a good idea too, or at the very least, mentioning those subjects as interests.

When you're not reading and writing about your own personal issues, what do you tend to like to read and write about?

To be honest I really only write about myself, my personal issues, and my quest for a girlfriend. Searching for a girlfriend is kind of my main focus in life.

 

[thejuice]

Have you tried socialising on mental health forums? There will be people there equally interested in self reflective introspection.

 

[BrianWV39]

Have you tried socialising on mental health forums? There will be people there equally interested in self reflective introspection.

To be kind of honest I thought this was a mental health forum.

 

[thejuice]

To be kind of honest I thought this was a mental health forum.

Kind of but also not really in my opinion. It has its good points and I think it favours brutal truths and a bootstrapping mentality.

 

[BrianWV39]

Kind of but also not really in my opinion. It has its good points but I think it favours brutal truths and a bootstrapping mentality.

Oh, ok cool

 

[thejuice]

That's my perception at least, on issues I care about.

 

[Judge]

Kind of but also not really in my opinion. It has its good points but also be insensitive with a bootstrapping mentality.

Not to mention that of all the members here, I know of only one on the spectrum who actually holds the formal status of a medical doctor. Who no longer posts frequently nor specializes in neurology or psychiatry.

Leaving the rest of us as an eclectic mix of those who may be quite enlightened of their own neurology and autistic traits and behaviors. Yet without any formal professional medical titles.

And yes, that we are far more likely to be blunt and to the point, without all the rituals, pomp and circumstances of diplomatic protocols. But then any number of us prefer to tell someone what we think they need, as opposed to only what they want to hear.

Personally I've always seen this forum as a tool of sorts, to better understand my own traits and behaviors directly compared to those of other autistic persons. On a very personal level, but not on any professional medical level either.

And when it comes to social rituals and protocols like dating, we all have many different perspectives as opposed to any uniform answers or solutions.

 

[BrianWV39]

That's my perception at least, on issues I care about.

For better or for worse the only issue I care about is getting into a romantic relationship

 

[BrianWV39]

Not to mention that of all the members here, I know of only one on the spectrum who actually holds the formal status of a medical doctor. Who no longer posts frequently.

Leaving the rest of us as an eclectic mix of those who may be quite enlightened of their own neurology and autistic traits and behaviors. Yet without any formal professional medical titles.

And yes, that we are far more likely to be blunt and to the point, without all the rituals, pomp and circumstances of diplomatic protocols. But then any number of us prefer to tell someone what we think they need, as opposed to only what they want to hear.

Personally I've always seen this forum as a tool of sorts, to better understand my own traits and behaviors directly compared to those of other autistic persons. On a very personal level, but not on any professional medical level either.

And when it comes to social rituals and protocols like dating, we all have many different perspectives as opposed to any uniform answers or solutions.

Thanks, I just like chatting with people, looking for a girlfriend, people seem cool here. I am happy.

 

[thejuice]

Not to mention that of all the members here, I know of only one on the spectrum who actually holds the formal status of a medical doctor. Who no longer posts frequently nor specializes in neurology or psychiatry.

Leaving the rest of us as an eclectic mix of those who may be quite enlightened of their own neurology and autistic traits and behaviors. Yet without any formal professional medical titles.

And yes, that we are far more likely to be blunt and to the point, without all the rituals, pomp and circumstances of diplomatic protocols. But then any number of us prefer to tell someone what we think they need, as opposed to only what they want to hear.

Personally I've always seen this forum as a tool of sorts, to better understand my own traits and behaviors directly compared to those of other autistic persons. On a very personal level, but not on any professional medical level either.

And when it comes to social rituals and protocols like dating, we all have many different perspectives as opposed to any uniform answers or solutions.

I agree with that. You can certainly get good advice here sometimes, even if it's not what you want!