How Do You Explain To Others What Aspergers Is?

[@iam_cloud]

I remember my therapist saying that it's often a lot harder to diagnose adults (especially those with mild symptoms) because of our well rehearsed coping mechanisms. I've pretty much gotten used to people (including my dad and sister) telling me to try harder or pay better attention. For the longest time I thought I was losing it. It also reminds me of coming out as bi to my dad.

Britt, you're not alone. I've had a similar experience. My answer is usually something like "I don't want it" or "who wants society to label them as disabled." I try to remember that it's not their fault that they're uneducated. All we can do is educate them.

 

[gister]

I think it's really difficult to explain to someone that I have Aspergers. I tried it once, for the first time and it was awful. I tried to explain it to my co-worker and she just said: ,, You ?...no , you don't have Aspergers. You don't look like you you're autistic, you can look into my eyes and talk to people....and I know, trust me, because I once studied psychology and I have worked with people with autism and yes, I just know."

And I couldn't say anything and it really broke my heart. I just froze (I often do that). I also got confused and started thinking that I didn't have Aspergers. Something else must be wrong with me. My psychologist told me to just choose people that I trust and tell them that I have diagnosis and if I want, ONLY if I want, then tell them what I want to tell them about my Aspergers. I'm now trying to do that.

I need to be more confident about it and practise how to describe this and how and when to tell and ask myself if I want to tell or not. I can choose. I don't have to tell anybody if I don't want to and if I want to, I can choose how. I learned that I am not being dishonest , just being who I am and setting boundaries.

 

[TragicKingdom]

When it must be discussed (or revealed) I begin by saying that I have a genetic brain malformation that is recognized by the U.S. Government as a disability (I am on Federal disability for Aspergers). I then explain to them some of the differences between low-functioning and high-functioning Autism and that I am high-functioning. Beyond that, I let them find out the rest of the details on their own.

Really, it is not anyone's business so they should be bloody happy I let them know about it at all.

I have told people before that I have Aspergers but I haven't really explained what it is. Yesterday I was talking to a few women and was wondering should I tell them that I have Aspergers. What if they ask what it is. Will I go "by the book" or try to describe my personal experience... And that would take hours probably I do believe most of people would want to know what it is exactly and how Aspergers makes you different from others but it seems hard to describe it in a few words without being dull, vague and impersonal.
How do you do it if you have to?

 

[clg114]

I do not tell anybody unless they need to know. It has been my experience that "most people" can not or will not understand. It took a very long time for my wife to understand. As a matter of fact, it took me a long time to understand and I'm a Aspie.

 

[Nemo]

OhMyGosh YES! That "but you're normal!" reaction just KILLS me. You've met me for 3 minutes and you've already done a full psychological assessment?

 

[Rob]

I have been working at my new job at our Overwaitea grocery store for six months now, and it seems that it is much easier to say that I have autism to my co-workers.

It seems cruel and self-demeaning at first, but if others think I am perfectly normal I would then further explain that I have Asperger's. It seems simpler for me, as the public understands the term "autism" better. That way I do not have explain what Asperger's is right off the bat. I leave it to the other person to ask me further questions.

Of course what works for me may not work for other Aspies. Each one to their own approach!