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How Do You Explain To Others What Aspergers Is?

grapesicles said:
Usually a sigh followed by "kind of like Sheldon Cooper I guess". Not the most favourable nor accurate example but a starting point that most people seem to understand. Then I can explain a bit more from there.

I seldom mention it to others anyway.
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Yeah the Sheldon example is annoying. It is supposed to be a comedic perspective on the condition, and there are worse things that are laughed at, so it isn't really that bad. But that does annoy me too when people think comedy characters are actual representations of how people with mental conditions are really like.
 
jaws said:
It is something I've yet to master. I've told several people, but like you said it takes a long time to really explain it within context of our relationship to one another. I think the best way is to have a non-aspie explain it to them. My mother understands a lot and can explain things better than I can, and my partner understands some and does a fair job at explaining things. I think it is too close to an obsession with me, and I get to technical and/or bore people when I try to explain it. The movie Temple is something many people may have seen and I will often reference it in a way saying something like, "it is close to that but not quite that severe (at least for myself)".

Overall, most people I've told really don't understand it and don't really seem concerned.
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agreed its same with me, i tried to tell people in my school and all i got out of it was being patronised. they didnt seem to care either, some people can be so ignorant
 
I've kinda come to the conclusion that I will be better off not trying to explain it to anyone. I tried explaining it to a certain member of my family and she was determined to counter everything I mentioned without trying to understand where I was coming from or meet me from my point of view. So the exercise was futile. It was like a laugh and a head shake, whatever mike, lol, it's a personality thing, you just have to try harder.
 
[QUOTE="Sportster, post: 91915, member: 1842"The one I hate the worst when disclosing it is when the person says, "Wow, I didn't know you were retarded." I look at them and say, "Wow, I didn't know you were either."[/QUOTE]



hahahahaha thats funny
 
It's odd, because I just had a discussion with my parents tonight - they said I was "perfectly normal" as a kid (I just got a DX), and I had the "highest IQ of all of our kids", which led me to have to explain that IQ and Asperger's do not go hand in hand (although, having an Aspie son and being an Aspie myself, I like to think we are all highly intelligent ;) ) . I guess I've been lucky because I've been describing Asperger's to people foor 8 years, since my son was DXd at the age of 4 and I started reading every book I could find on the subject. Also, most people who I've told that my son has Asperger's have said, "Oh!! My nephew/brother/cousin has that!". So I haven't had to do tons of explaining. Of course there are ignorant people out there like the family down the street when I explained to the mom why my son was the way he was (because he played with her twin boys) and the boys started calling my son "retard". So you'll always get ignorant people. I haven't figured out how to explain my own Asperger's to people. It's just who I am, so it's hard to say how I might be different if I didn't have it. I usually say I have trouble making small talk, making or keeping friends, multitasking, and concentration (since I think there's some ADD going on in my brain, too). My mother also asked if she had done something wrong when I was a kid, like she had GIVEN me Asperger's or not seen the signs or something. I told her that girls are way better than boys at hiding their true selves and pretending to fit in. And no, she didn't do anything wrong. Nobody was talking much about Asperger's 40+ years ago. I was a moody, rebellious, depressed, angry kid. I irritated my parents beyond belief. But I got good grades in school and unlike my son didn't throw chairs across the room and punch teachers, so I slipped through school without anyone's noticing. I guess I'll figure out how to describe myself to people if or when I decide to tell them I have it.
 
I am self-diagnosed, and only very recently. I have tried to tell mom and dad about it and dad understands, probably because he likely has it, too, but mom doesn't seem interested in learning about it, nor acknowledging I/we have it. But I finally feel like I have an answer as to why I am the way I am. It sort of comforts me. But I think the airport explanation would really help me explain it to others. I will be setting up a library account so I can check out some aspiesong ans autism books. We moved to a different state in fall last year. I still have yet to get my driver license here. *sigh*
 
A little update :) I haven't been here in a while and now I see some of my threads are still hanging :) I think I tell every person I meet (or almost every person) that I am on Autism spectrum. I seem so sane, I'm like a positive ad for Autism: that's how we really are :D
 
ghoulbler said:
I explain that it's a form of autism and then, to avoid them getting the wrong idea, end up trying to give them examples of people with Aspergers in the media. They're not always accurate, and usually they're stereotypical or unrealistic in some ways, but it helps familiarize them with the disorder. I always end up saying, "You ever watch Criminal Minds? You remember Spencer? He has Aspergers." and then that usually starts to point them in the right direction when it comes to like, understanding that I'm not "retarded" and that the way we come off is usually just said to be "quirky". I also find that mentioning a well known and admired character makes them more interested, so they're more likely to actually take the time to read into it.
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I think the actor who plays Spencer (Matthew Gray Gubler) actually has Aspergers himself. I think that's part of the reason they've written him the way they did. I also like to point out Dr. Brennan on Bones. Very helpful for us aspie girls. It also usually gets something like, "Oh yeah? I thought she was just awkward."
 
Telling someone I am an Aspie? Heck no, because that someone would have to be a special person, why share such special information with people who have no clue what it is and would only judge me even more if they did know?

To be an Aspie is very special, it is a world that others can not be a part of, my own playground that only I am allowed to play in, as many times as I want. No outsiders are allowed.
 
I don't bother explaining it to people. Yes, I've disclosed this information with people whom I didn't know that well at parties and all, but none actually pursued to ask further questions. So I guess they either know what it is, or at least have a basic understanding. If not, I can't be bothered to give a full presentation about neurodiversity (and even less if you're on your 2nd or 3rd bottle of hard liquor). Though the topic comes up every once in a while when people ask me what I do for a living and such. Telling them I have Asperger's goes over a lot better than "brooding plans for world domination in my secret lair" (though both might be true statements, lol).

I didn't even bother telling my parents what exactly AS is. Granted, my mom knows a fair bit about autism through childpsychology courses she took years ago, but I'm quite sure it's still a grey area for (especially since that's almost 20 years ago when she did such courses). I don't address any issues I have at home with "it's because of my AS"... I'll address them with "it's because I do/don't like it" and that in general isn't received negatively. Perhaps my issues that could relate to the spectrum aren't big issues as much as they are a few social issues that go hand in hand with sharing a house with others. Sensitive hearing is a thing for me, but as long as no one bothers me to turn of any devices that create white noise and people can turn their tv down a bit so my ears don't start bleeding, I'm good to go for most part on that area for example. And in general no one in the house questions my behavior anyway, so I don't need to "excuse" myself.

And for the people who know about my AS and for whom it is relevant. It's their job to be informed well enough based on my psych records. As much as I want to, I don't feel that it's my responsibility for them to do their job right.

So, in my case that leaves me with the situation of "who should I even tell this and for which of these people is this relevant information?" Afterall, before I had my AS diagnosis I was a quirky guy... and I still am. It just happens that now it has a formal tie-in with a pre-existing condition. But unless you're a doctor or perhaps an employer, there's no actual reason for you to know. If your mannerisms and behavior of me bother you, does understanding it's because of a disorder make it less... "bad"? Seems a lot more like pity to me in such cases then.
 
I'm pretty much sure that I'm more likely an NT instead of an Aspie. All I can say is if I am an NT and I have a special someone or a really good friend or family member who has AS, I want to know as much as I can about their situation because I care about them and want to be able to have as great of a relationship with them as I can. Don't write off telling all people about your Aspieness just because of a few "bad eggs". There are others out there who do care and want to know more.
 
I don't even bother trying to explain it because every time I do that person starts trying to relate and give me advice like it'll just go away with the right strategies and I'm just overacting to normal NT issues. It's annoying.
 
Spinning Compass said:
I ask them first if they have ever heard of Asperger's/autism and if they have then I go from there. Most people I know have some idea of what it is. I explain that it is a type of information processing deficit in the brain, that the brain just can't handle certain things. People who work with computers really understand what I am talking about, so I try to use that analogy. Just like a computer can't handle vague concepts (at least not yet) and neither can we. Most of the people I've met are really open to learning more about it, especially when it turns out they have kids with autism or teach kids with autism.
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I've used the analogy that I'm like a half duplex modem vs a full dropped modem NT before but that doesn't really work, LOL. I think your analogy is better... I'll have to try that.
 
Spinosaurus kin said:
Yeah the Sheldon example is annoying. It is supposed to be a comedic perspective on the condition, and there are worse things that are laughed at, so it isn't really that bad. But that does annoy me too when people think comedy characters are actual representations of how people with mental conditions are really like.
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Try getting told by a psychiatrist that you nor your child couldn't possibly be on the spectrum because he isn't like Sheldon. All within a fifteen minute first time evaluation chat. I ended up walking out on her after she told me my ADHD diagnosis was wrong because I was better at reading than computational math and the final straw was when I started to tell her "I feel confused and overwhelmed a lot" she interrupted me to tell me that my only options as far as diagnosis went was either something was wrong and I was incapable of caring for my son or nothing was wrong and I was perfectly capable of caring for him. I am so glad I ripped up her stupid evaluation survey before the appointment that was obviously just intended to diagnose as many people as possible with bipolar disorder. This is exactly why I despise most psychiatrists. They're just legalized drug dealer physicians with a little tiny bit of DSM knowledge that usually pales in comparison to what I know about it (I had every bit of it memorized at one time and have chatted with many people with the various diagnoses to get a better grip on how their minds worked so I could figure out if I had what they did). I'd much rather be treated by a psychologist... Their six years is actually dedicated to understanding the mind unto itself.
 
rollerskate said:
Try getting told by a psychiatrist that you nor your child couldn't possibly be on the spectrum because he isn't like Sheldon. All within a fifteen minute first time evaluation chat. I ended up walking out on her after she told me my ADHD diagnosis was wrong because I was better at reading than computational math and the final straw was when I started to tell her "I feel confused and overwhelmed a lot" she interrupted me to tell me that my only options as far as diagnosis went was either something was wrong and I was incapable of caring for my son or nothing was wrong and I was perfectly capable of caring for him. I am so glad I ripped up her stupid evaluation survey before the appointment that was obviously just intended to diagnose as many people as possible with bipolar disorder. This is exactly why I despise most psychiatrists. They're just legalized drug dealer physicians with a little tiny bit of DSM knowledge that usually pales in comparison to what I know about it (I had every bit of it memorized at one time and have chatted with many people with the various diagnoses to get a better grip on how their minds worked so I could figure out if I had what they did). I'd much rather be treated by a psychologist... Their six years is actually dedicated to understanding the mind unto itself.
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I was told I needed to feel guilty for my wife cheating on me, and that i should allow her to feel anger toward me. Also, I should find god/religion to deal with my lack of emotional support, which consequently has caused mental abuse on my spouse. She said my detachment was just manipulation. Money well spent. :scoff oh and I should just unconditionally forgive because I need to lock away the past and move on.
 
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