How do you define success?

[1ForAll]

For small things in life---appreciate, relax and enjoy
For medium everyday things--live, learn, laugh and have a good attitude
For the most important things--focus on giving your best efforts, step by step if need be (not on immediate results)

 

[Knower of nothing]

In the most practical terms success is when your will is met. Though this frames life in a degree of failure only, so to make the concept of success real you can play a bit more fair and count any individual instance of goal reaching. Goals can be divided up further to create even more success. If you want it to be the case, any breath you take can be seen as another succesful step in survival.

 

[Misery]

It's hard to say, for me.

Most people out there seem to associate money and job positions and whatnot with success. I come from a wealthy family, so generally that element just isnt relevant to me. I have no reason to care about money, and as a rule am completely apathetic to any discussions of it, or if someone should say something like "hey, here's $200 for you, merry Christmas", and my reaction is basically a mental "eh" (though I try to still express gratitude and whatnot towards whoever gave me that, as it's clearly a big deal for them).

And yes, I know that sounds super braggy, but it's the truth.

And with that, I've learned that "money doesnt buy happiness" really is true. Because it seriously doesnt. It buys STUFF, but that doesnt make me happy, not really. It primarily makes me less bored and fuels my special interests (which reduces anxiety and distracts from negative moods). It doesnt give me satisfaction or a feeling of having accomplished anything at all (I'm not the one who does the earning here). And it doesnt bring happiness.

So, what does it for me? Well... when I really think about it, I think what gives me a feeling of success is being able to overcome challenging situations, or achieve scary goals. Like, I've rambled more than once about my current situation on here. You could say that ultimately, my current goal is simply the ability to really, truly be myself even when others are around. But a couple of freaking decades of heavy masking, as well as many people's view of what I'm talking about, creates a ton of fear about the idea of revealing it.

I finally came out at least on the forums here about it, and THAT was a feeling of success. Neither money or STUFF could help me do that, but... I did it.

And if I can manage to do it with family next, that'll be one of the biggest successes I've had. Because overcoming that fear is not easy, and nothing I own can assist me in doing it. I have to really, truly do it myself.

Well... not entirely doing it myself. Advice and support from others absolutely DOES help (and I'm super thankful to everyone who has supported me thus far), but I dont "own" any of that, and I have to come out to those others before they can give advice or support.

Anyway, that's just my own rambling thoughts on the matter.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

My speech therapist asked me a question last time we met: How do I define success? I really don’t know the answer to that. Other people may define success as being lucrative in business or getting married and raising a family. But not everybody necessarily wants those things.

How do people here define success in your lives?

First,...you have to decide on what metric. Second,...have something to compare,...a before and after, perhaps.

I think, looking at my own life,...I have been successful at some things, not in others.

I would not think of my life in terms of "success and failure",...in terms of a general sense.

 

[Atrapa Almas]

I would not think of my life in terms of "success and failure",...in terms of a general sense.

Success is a very emotional thing.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Success is a very emotional thing.

Interesting you say that, but as a person with alexithymia, and to a great extent disconnected from any conscious sense of emotion,...I would have never come up with that statement. I'm not suggesting I am disagreeing,...I am just saying I would never have thought of it this way.

 

[Atrapa Almas]

Interesting you say that, but as a person with alexithymia, and to a great extent disconnected from any conscious sense of emotion,...I would have never come up with that statement. I'm not suggesting I am disagreeing,...I am just saying I would never have thought of it this way.

I probably also have my share of alexithymia, and like you said I also see success in my life more in general perspective.

 

[George Newman]

I believe success in life is cultivating those things that can’t be taken away: character, joy, peace of mind.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

It was ingrained in me that success = being the best, making good money, high status job.

With this question now, and considering the above, I realized I haven’t thought about success in a long time.

In the grand scheme of things, I think success is: have I been helpful to others in any given day. Have I made a positive change, even a very tiny one. Others, for me, includes people, animals and plants. I am very connected to plants.