How do you cope with Asperger's?

[Sathington Willoughby]

Hi everyone, -new here. I started a thread without much luck, so I am starting a different one thats a bit more specific, and hopefully more people will see. How exactly do each of you cope with Asperger's? Have any of you gone through professional treatment that helped? Most people seem to just "deal with it" which I can't do any longer, my symptoms are getting much more severe lately. I have no idea where to begin, I have been somewhat in denial that I have AS until recently. I'd say mine is on the extreme side compared to others I've seen, I have extreme depression/lethargy and the worst anxiety of anyone I have ever met. I don't leave my house for weeks at a time sometimes, I stay up all night and don't care that I sleep all day. I usually try to go back to sleep when I wake up, even if I have already been sleeping for 10+ hours. I may have ocd, I have all the symptoms of Tourettes (which I didn't learn until recently, only makes up a very small percentage of people with Tourettes). Is Tourettes common with people with Asperger's? Thankyou so much to anyone that can help me out, I am in an very dark place and feel very alone. My family wants to help me and support me, but they are very very frustrated, I am a bit paranoid with some of the programs out there (they wanted me to see a Neurologist and get an update on my condition, I backed out last minute) I'd love to hear all your input. Love that I can come on here and say these things, I mentioned in another thread I wont talk about this with my friends, the one person I ever told seemed fine with it and then never spoke to me again.

 

[TaumaRN]

Wish that I could offer some words of wisdom but I was recently officially diagnosed only two weeks ago. I have learned many skills to pass off as fairly typical through acting. Growing up with a big brother really helped me a lot. I am still learning and am still considered "weird" to this day by my peers. I hope you find your way. I personally like being different and was very pleased with my diagnosis as my son has AS.

 

[oscar2012]

hi and welcome you have taken the first step now carry on you will get great advice here and support. and you will get stronger in yourself by talking about how you feel good luck in what you choose to do

 

[Sathington Willoughby]

I'd love to say I like being different, which in most cases is good, but I am so different that I have to hide certain behaviors from my friends, and the side effects of AS are ruining my life. I love people that are optimistic and positive, I try to stay that way, I made a realization a while back with my friend that unloads all her baggage on everyone- and thats that no one wants to be around someone who is a miserable debby-downer 24/7. It is fair to say not dealing with this ever is starting to destroy my life.

 

[Rob]

Welcome, Sathington! It is great to see such a detailed account of your experiences - getting a detailed description of my experiences really helped me get a diagnosis and helped me to get some hope back in my life. I was only diagnosed recently, and now I am nearly 46 years old! I just got off my first night shift from work so I feel a bit nauseous and drowsy at this point. This has been my experience and is only suggested advice - please look at everyone's posts before making any decisions.

After dropping out of Pharmacy Tech College in Kamloops, BC, Canada I had to tell my instructors that I had to go see a doctor or psychotherapist (my original words). They were quite willing to help me out to find a mental health clinic. Once they found one, I went right away. I had to take the College's Student Evaluation information with me as well, no matter how painful the comments were regarding my difficulties at the college. The psychiatrist at the Mental Health and Addictions Centre referred me to a Mood Management Group at the Royal Inland Hospital in Kamloops. Though I was confused and very anxious when I first got there, I felt welcome there in a very short time. Everyone there had issues with anxiety, depression and some PTSD. In a real way I felt welcome - the facilitator was a very cheerful woman whose smile and personality instantly lifted up my spirits! She asked how we felt by giving her a weather report. I frequently told her conditions were windy with thunderstorms coming soon, while other days were sun and cloud (anxiety vs. calm).

I had made a long-term friend there who I call every month to see how she is doing - and she is a pleasure to chat over the phone with. I remember someone in the group who said, "Depression is so boring. I think anxiety is a lot more exciting!" We all nearly fell out of our chairs laughing!! Everyone had a way to find humor in their separate situations - this was memorable.

While attending the Group, I had to get tested at a psychological clinic in Kamloops. It was very nerve-racking. Not only did I have to walk over half a mile each way to the clinic, the tests were gruelling. Some tests I excelled at while others showed me poor reading comprehension, poor listening memory, poor visual recall and other issues. The Head Psychologist there had all my Student Evaluation information as well. AFTER SEVEN WEEKS OF WAITING, I finally got a diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome with comorbid Learning Disability NOS and Social Anxiety/Depression. The doctor said "Well, you definitely are not stupid," which was encouraging to hear but after a long session of questions and answers he suggested me applying for Persons With Disabilities benefits from the Ministry of Social Services in British Columbia.

My psychologist in Kamloops, Canada suggested I see a neurologist too. So I got a CT scan done on me, showed it to a neurologist in Kamloops, and he could not find anything abnormal in the scan. Would an MRI have been any better? There is no way I could know. Anyway, the neurologist could not find anything amiss, and he told me that what I had was a syndrome that needed referral to a psychiatrist or psychologist. This is like circular reasoning!! A psychologist suggests getting a neurology referral while the neurologist refers me back to a psychologist! For you, Sathington, I would suggest getting an MRI rather than a CT scan if it is possible - perhaps it can reveal more than a CT scan will.

Yes, I can sympathize with you Sathington - I felt my life was over when I had to leave college in Kamloops, but I feel the painful ordeal was worth the suffering. I would suggest seeing a psychologist for testing. The reason is when you have a detailed description of your condition you can apply for disability benefits and work part-time to supplement your income. I realize you are computer-savvy. This is a very important strength for you - perhaps get some upgrading in computer science and you could perhaps become a computer repair technician or work for a computer sales company. With myself I am not a tech-savvy person as I rarely use my smartphone. Until my student loans are paid off I cannot afford expensive cell phone minutes.

Tourette's Syndrome seems to be a common comorbid condition. Tourette's has a lot of strong tics associated with it, which are similar to the stims in Asperger's. I do not know the difference between a tic and a stim, exactly, but I have seen a documentary on Tourette's and saw many were still in their teens and had constant tics occurring every few seconds. This seems more severe as the stims in AS don't seem to happen as often. Though many outgrow Tourette's many still have the condition in their adult years. I have my share of tics including obsessively picking my teeth when something is stuck there, and I often say, "It'll never come out! Why waste your energy?"

There are some natural remedies for anxiety if you find that drug medications are not for you. Maybe try GABA or passionflower extract. I use so many vitamin and supplement pills I sometimes feel sick from them, but they work! After a life of hard knocks and miscues I researched the nutritional therapies that could be used to help depression and autism. My first suggestion beside the previous would be omega 3, B-complex 100 mg, extra vitamins B6, folic acid, B12 and choline (soy lecithin granules and eggs are great sources!)

I apologize for sounding too much like a self-appointed counsellor or "professional" but this long post (!!) is just my experience and suggestions.

Thanks for bearing with me!

 

[Sathington Willoughby]

Thanks for the lengthy reply to be honest, I'd rather you write me an essay than say "hey pal, hang in there!" hahaha Thanks for all the advice, you were very thorough, it was exactly the type of response I am looking for! I do take a lot of vitamins especially because I am turning into a shut in. my ticks are pretty constant when I am stressed, (and I am pretty constantly stressed) I bite my nails a lot which isnt that bad, but I also crank my head to one side a lot and if im really goin nuts I'll start doing it back and forth every few minutes, sometimes more than once a minute though, as if I am trying to crack my neck, I get maybe one good crack out of it a day and the rest is just compulsive I snap one of my fingers with a whipping motion into the side of my hand a lot to the point where my wrist starts to hurt (almost like someone packing a tin of dip) I crack all my knuckles, my elbows, my back, and wrist constantly. I've ground my teeth smooth in my sleep, I also clear my throat very hard for no apparent reason when I am stressed, I can keep myself up at night just clearing my throat constantly. It really really bothers me. I bite my facial hair around my mouth a lot, thats the only tick I've been able to somewhat overcome just by focusing, I remind myself how crazy I look with random chunks of hair follicles around my lips missing. When I was much younger I used to make up words that were really weird just to say them over in my head, I'd get them stuck in my head all the time.

 

[Sathington Willoughby]

My old teacher, who ended up being a close friend of mine for years (I'm still his gardener haha) warned me that if I got on social security it might be hard for me to prove my case without letting them think I am crazy, he said in a lot of instances people that get on social security never get a job the rest of their life as it kind of red-flags you in the system as someone with a severe enough disability that you cannot work to begin with. I also think I can eventually find a job and get over my ticks and learn to deal with being strange I'm afraid if I get on a disability it will close the door to a lot of opportunities at feeling "normal" which is what I really want. -And I don't mean I dont feel right in my own skin, I just want to have the ability to be around people and not make them uncomfortable or viceversa. I like being weird and having a strange sense of humor and my quirks, but I hate my ocd tendencies and my anxiety/depression.

 

[Licorice]

I've had much more energy and have been less depressed since I started eating better food and trying to get things done during my best hours of the day (morning and early evening). It's not necessarily a cure for depression and lethargy, but small lifestyle changes can sometimes make a big difference. I used to just eat whatever tasted good, but in retrospect that was probably making me a little sick. I just didn't realize it because I didn't know what it felt like in comparison to be eating more than just frozen meals, quick dinners, take out, and the occasional snack of fruit. I started feeling much less lethargic in a matter of weeks, with the only exceptions being when I stayed in bed too late and missed my productive hours.

 

[Sathington Willoughby]

That is honestly a huge problem of mine, I used to cook a lot and loved it, now I mostly buy crap thats easy to make or inexpensive. For a while I did no white sugar, which had some nice results. Supposedly refined sugar is proven to give you depression and anxiety, it supposedly is directly linked to the bleaching chemicals they use as it is usually suggested in these articles you switch to raw sugar and avoid any and all other sweeteners along with a lot of other bleached or refined products like white flour. I haven't read up on it in a while so I can't get into the details as I'd be talking out my ass, but its an interesting read if anyone gets bored google it My problem lately is I am extremely poor and extremely depressed, it kind of zaps my food creativity, I end up buying canned crap or mac n cheese or frozen pizzas/dinners, anything that requires less than 3 steps to make I guess hahaha
edit- found this with a quick google search
How Sugar Causes Depression Anxiety

 

[Rob]

Thank you for the article! Very informative.

 

[TaumaRN]

Wow, I do many of those same things. I have to keep my beard short enough or I unknowingly catch myself chewing on it at work. I also fidget with my earlobe when uncomfortable. I have admitted this to people at work and they can judge me if they wish. They know that I am aware but usually pretty secure with my strangeness. They know my son has Aspergers and I am proud (yes very proud) to say I have been officially diagnosed also so I can show my son you can make it and be weird. If they have a comment I usually have a better one but my greatest coping strength has been through laughter (often at myself). I love to laugh but if I know I am being ridiculed I address it immediately. Problem is I don't always know when people are laughing with me or at me. Usually I try not to care but somedays I have gone overboard putting someone in their place. I do crack my elbows constantly even waking my wife at night. I'm still learning about myself and how to act in a more appropriate manner at times. AS and ADHD makes control and appropriate choices difficult at times to say the least. But I've got this and so will you. Know you can do it because you want it and deserve it. And pray for the poor fool who tries to stop you from achieving your goals. Basically, my coping is through humor, laughter, and surrounding myself by accepting people.

 

[Sathington Willoughby]

That is amazing that you have a son with AS, I feel like the biggest problem is feeling alone or different or not having the ability to make connections easily, I can't imagine how different It'd have been if my father "got" me growing up. Things will be so much better off for him! I've honestly thought my whole life my dad has AS, we don't get along, my mother says its because we are the same person, our short tempers are toxic to each other.

 

[TaumaRN]

Well, it can get a little troublesome, especially for my wife, at times. However, my son was diagnosed yrs before me and I was always proud of who he was and is so I must be proud of who I am AS and all. My wife get's annoyed when we get fixated on our tablets too much. Haha. My mother-in-law apparently has good eyes because she told my wife way before any diagnosis or real talk of me having it possibly as well that she has to treat me like my son. Hmmm, apparently she could tell. It's so hard sometimes to say be who you are but change to fit in. I always want him to be himself which is quirky and noticeable like myself. However, I am trying to teach him appropriate social boundaries, behavior, and respect for others to allow him to make it easier. I have always been a little too overprotective of him making a principle tear up at a meeting, offending teachers with notes written. This embarrasses me and I have to go back and apologize bc I want the teachers to know I'm here to help them with my son as they are there to help him. Temper control!i understand short tempers and like minds between father and son.I hope you find a mom on boundary so that you can enjoy each other just the way you are. Easier said than done I know. Have a great day everyone. I'm off to a day of family drama at a party. Ahhhwellll

 

[Pondering]

I like to look at the strongpoints that comes with having Asperger's: high logic, high intelligence, hypersensitive, strong character, speciality skills/abilities/gifts/talent, ability to see detail, etc. There are many things that I may not have been able to accomplish without Asperger's. I often see it as an advantage, a positive, rather than a disibility.

 

[paloftoon]

How exactly do each of you cope with Asperger's?
I think of the individual situations and how to deal with them, and I don't talk about the label with others generally speaking.

Have any of you gone through professional treatment that helped?
Slightly. I got a diagnosis and began to understand a bit about it. A whole new world opened up to me that I did not know about until after this "revelation" with myself. Until last year, the diagnosis and treatment have not helped me personally. A lot of it for me personally had to do with understanding that a lot of people on the spectrum could not relate to me because their issues and personalities were more serious cases to work with, and that sometimes it was just people being mean and/or being very immature, including other people on the spectrum.


Is Tourettes common with people with Asperger's?
I don't think it's particularly common, but I don't think it's uncommon either.

"my symptoms are getting much more severe lately."
Since you know your case is extreme, the benefits for you to see a neurologist would outweigh the negatives. While your paranoia is understandable, if you aren't able to function well in life, then whether the program(s) or people worked out or not, you really don't have much to lose to keep trying. Having an official diagnosis can generally make people in more extreme cases eligible for support and services they could not otherwise receive. A quality program/person will hear out your input and suggestions. Like if you're being forced to take medicine and your opinion is not being considered, then plan to look for someone else. If something you do isn't working, it is worth it to try someone else's way. For medicine, if you want to try this route, remember that it takes at least 3 weeks for it to truly have the effects that it needs to have. After 3 weeks, if your doctor won't let you stop or change, you should consider changing doctors if applicable. Instead of a doctor, you may want to consider a nutritionalist.

"Love that I can come on here and say these things, I mentioned in another thread I wont talk about this with my friends, the one person I ever told seemed fine with it and then never spoke to me again."
That's ashame about your former "friend". I think many of your friends who may be able to relate to you more will face what you're going through and/or can talk on a forum like this. These kind of people are more likely good risks to take for meeting someone in-person to look for more quality friendships.

 

[forowls]

I just have a close few who try to understand and help me with my daily anxieties. A strong support system--that's how I cope. :3