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How close are your friendships

S

Shane

Active Member
What are the opinions on friendships? Where does the line cross? Is laying around and cuddling with supposedly platonic friends too intimate?
 
it depends on what you think cudling is , i mean one of my my girl friends likes to hug a lot and she like me to seet on her lap sometimes , my other best friend is like " I REALY REALY MISSED YOU *HUGS*" XD and with the oposit sex ...weell we can hug but just like a quick hug we dont stay a lot of time...actualy if im in a bed day i actualy like hugs and im not realy a touchy person (i dont like touching that much) and if i stay a litle bit they start making faces , idk what they are thinking but they might think i like them our something and since i dont want that its a quick one but with a lot of strenght XD
 
I wouldn't lay around or cuddle with a platonic friend. But then, me and my closest friend (opposite sex/gender) are sexually attracted to each other, so we purposely set boundaries because we don't want to risk getting carried away.
 
The most touchy I get with friends is a quick hug. Unless I'm really cold, then I may sit close to somebody, but I don't let them put an arm around me or anything.
 
I'm not a touchy person AT ALL, but the friends and family I actually do like tend to just say "I know you're not gonna hug me back" before just hugging me. outside of touching though, I have different levels of friendship with people though. Most are what I would call "basic friend" where I genuinely like them and a lot of their jokes and I can tell them SOME things. With a select few friends, once they are telling me ANYTHING then after I while I open up all the way to these people and tell them anything. These are also the people who I just act differently (more outgoing) around.
 
Sometimes I need to be touched or to touch, it seems to make the world 'real' again. I have a friend who always holds my arm when we are out, she says it's because I'm unstable (I have an issue with steps). Another always kisses my cheek when we meet, sometimes touch is just what I need ;)

As I age more I think I need physical contact more.
 
I cuddle with my husband or with young children, that's it.

I love a good long hug with my family and very close friends, especially if one of us is upset.

Other than that, I don't like being touched, especially not when unexpected, so "hugs by appointment only" :)
 
It's different for everyone. My darling baby brother, for example, can be VERY touchy-feely with his female friends, even if their relationship is purely platonic. (Could be a generational thing, maybe?) I believe it depends entirely on the individuals involved.

As for myself, I tend to try and keep my distance, just far enough away that we can maintain a friendly intimacy without venturing into more "gray area" territory. Then again, I'm an aromantic asexual, so while I'm perfectly fine with a friendly hug, mostly I keep my distance. In fact, I have a few close friends (all of the opposite gender), but there is only one whom I ever even hug; and even then, most of the time we are not physically close (say, opposite ends of the couch), even though our conversations may be very personal and intimate.
 
If it involves a hetero-man, then cuddling and touching as you described (OP) is usually not going to be perceived as entirely platonic, so I do think it is too far if platonic is the extent of either's interest.
 
I hug and sit extremely close to my best friend all the time. She often plays with my hair because it's really curly, which I do not mind because she always asks first and I know what to expect. She puts my arm in hers when we go out because she knows I can get a bit distracted/ overwhelmed and get left behind. However, she is the only friend I do this with. We do sit beside eachother cuddling and watching University Challenge sometimes but from what I can tell we're purely platonic. I think the boundaries you draw yourself and what you are comfortable with define whether things are still platonic. It also depends on whether you are comfortable with the situation or not, I suppose.
 
I don't hug anyone just shake hands. But I think sometimes I'd like a hug but I feel like I'd be invading their space without permission. It's complicated.
 
I've never been a cuddly person, but I used to be more comfortable sharing my feelings than I am now. Offline, I don't even talk about them anymore, not even to people I've known for several years. I guess I'm just less interested in feelings and less interested in making myself vulnerable to others.
 
Licorice said:
I've never been a cuddly person, but I used to be more comfortable sharing my feelings than I am now. Offline, I don't even talk about them anymore, not even to people I've known for several years. I guess I'm just less interested in feelings and less interested in making myself vulnerable to others.
Click to expand...

I can be very open with only a few people who are very open with me, but for the most part I just feel very weird talking about my feelings.
 
Cuddle all you want with your platonic friend!
Just make sure either of you are not confusing sexual attraction with a need for comfort or love.

Just because society deems it inproper does not mean it actually is.
Its considered normal if girls hug and kiss, its considered abnormal if boys do so. (in most modern cultures)
Who cares, really...
Allot of the "norms and value's" people live by these days have absolutely no value or meaning whatsoever, they're just repeating what they've been told without pausing to think about what exactly they're saying or what they claim to stand for.
 
Even if it isn't "platonic", I feel like 2 people can do what they want with each other. It's your friendship.
 
I actually really enjoy cuddling, but it has gotten awkward in the past. Since I will cuddle with someone without realizing that it might seem like I am interested in them. xP
 
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