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Hope you can help-NT female/AS male

Most of us adults with AS have experienced a lifetime of ridicule, judgement, and being misunderstood by other people. When that is the case, it really isn't much fun being around other people, unless we know them well and they treat us alright. I spend enough time doing things I don't want to do in this life. When I don't have to work, I want to spend as much time as possible doing things I like. Some may consider this selfish, but it is no different than any other person. The only difference is most people don't become isolated or are considered selfish because what they want to do is what everyone else wants to do.
 
Weddings, christenings, family dinners with yours or even his own family, and even quiet dinners with friends unfortunately are not high on the list of enjoyable activities for an aspie. In fact, if he has social anxiety, they can be draining and down right painful. This doesn't mean that he wouldn't have a good time if he went, it just means its low priority on the interest scale and has a 50% chance of being boring/awkward and therefore is better left avoided.
The good news is if you tell him its important to you it sounds like he would go, but it would probably help if you were sensitive to his anxiety when you ask. Like others mentioned, I would initiate small very casual meetings with 1 or 2 of your favorite friends and family first (maybe meet for coffee?). Secondly, I would space out social occasions so that he can have a lot of recovery time in between to process the new people in his life. And thirdly, I would prepare him and maybe even give him tips about what to talk about with certain friends/family, like there interests etc... and keep everything upbeat, casual and positive.
I'm sure he will come around, he's just holding off. Once he gets to know everybody it will be much easier for him to attend the larger events.
 
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