High functioning and low functioning doesn't mean that somebody is more or less autistic. It just means that sometimes a person with high functioning is more capable of making social interaction for example. In general it just means that people with HF autism can deal society a bit better. But indeed, there is a catch. The masking, the capablity of socialising and dealing with society gives a wrong expression to society/non autistic people and even autistic people. Those people, or better said group can think that a person with HF autism is "barely autistic" or even "not autistic". Is that the autistic persons fault? No. Is that the group of people their fault? Also no. It is just how the human brain in general works: making assumptions and putting it in the situation.
Autism is autism, and somebody who doesn't experience the same way of sympthoms like another person with autism is just as autistic as that person. I personally think that if a person can regnosise autism, that it can be easier for the autistic person. Because of knowlegde, and respect and all. Ofcourse that is not always the case. But to my experience, being what people call high functioning iknow that there is alot of pressure going on with non autistic people. We don't like always to be seen as autistic, because of the stereotypical view on autism and we don't always regnosise the other autistic people their issues for example. Because HF autism is so misleading, knowing that we can do certain things that other people with LF Autism can't it is not easy to just come out as Autistic to others. We sometimes feel "not autistic enough". Well we know that we definitly are autistic. Mental breakdowns are not uncommen amongs HF autisim. In fact, we risk anxiety, panic attacks and other mental health problems because we expect too much because society treats us as "normal", or "almost normal". Because we are able to express ourselfs and deal with situations, we are not treated how we should be treated. Which is just like any other person with autism. (Specialised on our needs ofcourse.) Personally I don't really like the term low and high functioning either, because it feels degrading almostly. It feels sometimes like "Hey I am HF so I am better", while it is in fact not. Just because we are more capable of doing certain things doesn't mean our autism doesn't get in the way of our plans sometimes. Or that our sympthoms are less, not at all. We might not stim (in public for example), we might not flap with our hands or do stereotypical autistic things but we still get sensory overload burnouts and burnouts from stress/emotions.
If you indeed do not want to get helped with learning things, then you indeed not learn. Your mindset doesn't mean that you can not learn, it means that you simply don't want to. If you feel fine with your current situation, then I don't see the point of doing so. The therapy, perhaps medication and speech skill training and many other things to learn and to deal with autism is not to make your autism go away. It is just to help you in daily life. It is not because society wants your autism to go away. Just like autistic people, other people like to have a clear image of things. And let's be honest, if you can not give a normal skilled conversation because your speech is bad then what you are trying to say is not making sense to them. If you can just order in a restaurant or a drive way for example without struggeling with the help of therapy for anxiety/insecurity then why would you not do it? If you can talk clearly, understandable with neurotypical/non autistic people then you are not nessarly helping them out, but yourself. You can get what you want, if it is normal request, if you can talk and ask. Peace to the mind, with mind fullness therapy can give way more insight on things. There is so much you can learn, use in daily life, to give it at least a shot in my opinion. But like I said, if you don't like to get helped, and you feel fine with your current situation then it is your choice. Also like you said, you are around the age of 57, which is a hard age to learn something. I don't really blame you. But for the younger people out there, getting help is helpfull. I am not saying you should fix yourself, in fact there is nothing to be fixed. But to help yourself with a few tricks here and there is just more nice to yourself. Help yourself for yourself. It is not faking anything, if you know how to get things done. It is just a matter of doing so to get something.
