Hi!

[Sunshine Err Day]

Hi there! Just found this forum and I'm pretty excited about it. I recently starting seeing a wonderful guy and I'm fairly confident he's an Aspie. I was hoping to gain insight on what I can do to be a supportive partner, hear about everyone's experiences with dating, and what challenges you face.

 

[Nitro]

Hi Sunshine Err Day

 

[Sozdatelniza]

Greetings! How are you dealing with your aspie friend and how is he like?

 

[tree]

 

[Sunshine Err Day]

Greetings! How are you dealing with your aspie friend and how is he like?

Hi! He is wonderful and we get along very well! I'd like to say in advance, I apologize if I use the wrong terminology, my intentions are certainly not to offend but to gain perspective. He's a fascinating, compassionate, funny, kind, handsome man. I believe he's an Aspie but he doesn't know. Of course I don't care about a diagnosis or things like that, I just want to understand better. Would it be ok if if I asked for your opinion on my thoughts about him being on the spectrum?

 

[clg114]

Welcome to Aspies Central!

 

[Sunshine Err Day]

These are some of the reasons I believe he may be on the spectrum, the thing is, he doesn't know.
He is very intelligent and extremely passionate about his interests- learning everything about the topic, he doesn't like small talk-would prefer to be silent instead of small talk, he doesn't like/take compliments and almost never gives them, he does not like to be rushed-we went to a late night food joint, it was packed, we were up, they asked what we wanted, he turned around and walked out the door, we went to a hardware store he hadn't been to before, he was looking for some particular things, didn't know where they were in this store, I offered to show him since I know the layout, after a few he put his items down, said he didn't like this store and would go to the other one later on, so we left (I'm not sure what that was about but would love some insight), it took me a long time to realize he didn't just want to be casual friends with benefits because the only verbal feedback I had ever received was that he liked my butt and hanging out with me.
Once I started to put the pieces together, it seemed to make sense. To be clear, I love these things about him, though sometimes I'm confused! So I guess my questions are;
A. Does this sounds like someone who may be on the spectrum to y'all?
B. If so, is this a conversation you have with your partner if they are unaware and it could be helpful to better understanding each other?
C. If it's not something to bring up to him, are there more clear/direct ways I can ask about what he experiences and how I can be helpful without mentioning ASD?
D. Any and all advice is greatly appreciated!

 

[Nason]

B. If so, is this a conversation you have with your partner if they are unaware and it could be helpful to better understanding each other?
[/QUOTE]

Hey hey,

I'll give insight on this question:

Short answer, no.

My best friend is autistic, and it took her a year to mention it casually to me (that I may be as well). We have soooo much in common that even before that day we would comment how we are twins (but switched at birth). That caused me so much confusion, pain, anxiety, and depression. Yet! At the same time it validated so much of my unexplained experiences and struggles. Of course there was no knowing that this would be the outcome. So, my advice is not to bring it up.

(Please ignore my spelling!)

 

[Sunshine Err Day]

Thanks for your advice.