Hi

[Babylover2009]

hi my name is Donna . I work with children and adults who are on the autism spectrum, I had a few questions and was looking for a chat room to talk to hopefully find some answers

 

[Babylover2009]

I seem to have a developed feelings for a man who has high functioning autism , he seems to look at me a lot , he did tell me one time that I make him nervous heard him but I don't think he thought I did so I said what and he said never mind , we always seen when we close say how are u and one of us will put out our hands and we hold hands not just a shake but hold for a few minutes I know ppl with autism can't express so much sometimes just trying to find out if he likes me any advice will help thank u

 

[Keigan]

Welcome.

Be very careful if this is at your work, as in it might not be good for anyone if this is at your work.

 

[Babylover2009]

Welcome.

Be very careful if this is at your work, as in it might not be good for anyone if this is at your work.

Yes it is but I'm being very careful does it sound like he does ?

 

[Dadwith2Autisticsons]

Hi. I am not sure if you will like what I say, but if you are providing any health or educational services for that adult on the Spectrum, it would seem like you are considered a professional. In general, such professionals are held to higher standard.

This means they have to put the interests of the client first, and that client would also reasonably expect you to refrain from such any relationship type advances. I and most others would claim only a professional work-client relationship is proper, regardless of your or the clients now or future relationship desires.

Otherwise, your job could be in serious jeopardy at minimum, but with potential for claims of legal damages for overstepping your bounds as a professional. Even former clients and former patients can be considered off limits, by some professional standards.

This does not mean I think you are a bad person, as you may not know the law. But, only much trouble will result if you proceed further, if I understand things correctly.

 

[tree]

 

[Babylover2009]

Hi. I am not sure if you will like what I say, but if you are providing any health or educational services for that adult on the Spectrum, it would seem like you are considered a professional. In general, such professionals are held to higher standard.

This means they have to put the interests of the client first, and that client would also reasonably expect you to refrain from such any relationship type advances. I and most others would claim only a professional work-client relationship is proper, regardless of your or the clients now or future relationship desires.

Otherwise, your job could be in serious jeopardy at minimum, but with potential for claims of legal damages for overstepping your bounds as a professional. Even former clients and former patients can be considered off limits, by some professional standards.

This does not mean I think you are a bad person, as you may not know the law. But, only much trouble will result if you proceed further, if I understand things correctly.

I don't work with this person I do work with Autistic children and adults I know him through ppl just trying to read signs if he does or not

 

[Dadwith2Autisticsons]

I don't work with this person I do work with Autistic children and adults I know him through ppl just trying to read signs if he does or not

Oh, ok. I am not sure what his feelings could be as there is not enough information. He could be holding out his hands out of routine, or to please you as he thinks you want that, or maybe he likes you. I would not read too much into things yet, until you learn more, as he seems to be giving mixed signals. There are numerous things he could be thinking, or that could explain why he is doing or saying that other thing. Only more time will sort things further out. Just my opinion though.

 

[Nitro]

 

[Judge]

I seem to have a developed feelings for a man who has high functioning autism , he seems to look at me a lot , he did tell me one time that I make him nervous heard him but I don't think he thought I did so I said what and he said never mind , we always seen when we close say how are u and one of us will put out our hands and we hold hands not just a shake but hold for a few minutes I know ppl with autism can't express so much sometimes just trying to find out if he likes me any advice will help thank u

Hard to answer with so little information. Though in my own case I can tell you that while someone might make me nervous, it doesn't preclude that I might be attracted to them. But again, that's me- not necessarily him. But I could see myself nervously blurting such a thing out, and regretting it the instant I said it. Lucky for me that's never happened quite in that way.

Perhaps you should focus on just becoming friends with him...and see if that goes anywhere. Far less pressure for him socially speaking. If he can eventually relax in your presence as a friend, you may learn much more about him and he about you.

All my past lovers were friends first. Never "dated" any of them.

 

[StephF]

Hi

 

[Danny 74]

Helloooo babylover2009.....!

 

[xudo]

Welcome

 

[Streetwise]

I look at people when IM panicky or lonely to me what i want is family not dysfunctional family and holding hands gives comfort- not wanting an intimate relationship- but thats me

I seem to have a developed feelings for a man who has high functioning autism , he seems to look at me a lot , he did tell me one time that I make him nervous heard him but I don't think he thought I did so I said what and he said never mind , we always seen when we close say how are u and one of us will put out our hands and we hold hands not just a shake but hold for a few minutes I know ppl with autism can't express so much sometimes just trying to find out if he likes me any advice will help thank u

 

[icesyckel]

he seems to look at me a lot

High functioning indeed, especially if that gaze is into your eyes. Course, he may be forcing himself to do this to appear normal. I sometimes overcompensate and find myself staring at someone's eyes too long just trying to get the duration correct.

I'm not sure being on the spectrum makes a guy into a porcelain doll. He won't crack if you ask him out on a date, especially if he is higher functioning. I once had a girl express her interest by sticking her hand in my back jeans pocket and begin very discreetly massaging my bum (this was in public). I didn't crack even at this rather extreme approach, which was much less subtle than a simple invite to coffee or dinner. (Also, I figured I should at least buy her dinner after that.)

Not recommending the hand in the pocket tactic necessarily, but you don't need to worry about breaking him by making a legit inquiry.