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Hi

Hi Liz,

Welcome to AC, a community so varied it puts the diverse in neurodiverse ;)

Shall look forward to reading your posts, don't forget to check out our resource section too!

Enjoy :)
 
Hello! I'm also a newbie; so welcome to the forum! :blush: My boyfriend and I are both Aspies; I'm awaiting formal diagnosis. :blush: I hope you find a lot of help here and friendliness!
 
It is hard no doubt about it.
I love him deeply.

It is when we row things go wrong. I meltdown. He goes into 'work mode' where he disassociates from me and will not interact.

When it is good it is excellent.
 
earthsoul said:
It is hard no doubt about it.
I love him deeply.

It is when we row things go wrong. I meltdown. He goes into 'work mode' where he disassociates from me and will not interact.

When it is good it is excellent.
Click to expand...

Well, Liz, that seems familiar to me, too. Thanks for sharing. I wonder therefore if it for us not easier if each one does their own thing. At least that is what my friend and I do, when things get too difficult it is nice if each one has their own appartment.
 
earthsoul said:
We live together. We cannot afford to live apart really. Although it certainly is food for thought.
Thank you
Click to expand...

yes, it is always the affording factor. We have two small appartments. You probably have at least enough space so one of you can be in another room. We cannot do that. Everything has plusses and minuses! Where are you from? I live in Germany
 
earthsoul said:
It is hard no doubt about it.
I love him deeply.

It is when we row things go wrong. I meltdown. He goes into 'work mode' where he disassociates from me and will not interact.

When it is good it is excellent.
Click to expand...

Just a thought. If it generally follows a predictable pattern, the rows I mean, then analyze it together step by step. Look for the point where the hurt or emotional response is provoked and explain to each other how and why it happens. Then work to find (and use) a non-provoking alternative and change the outcome. Sometimes that means simply accepting something about one or the other.

Its not that hard if done with willingness and mutual desire to succeed. The difficulty lies in each changing their behavior and habits.

If that doesn't work, hang up the oars, drop the rowing and find a new exercise to do together. ;)
 
Welcome aboard :)
image.webp
 
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