Hi, I'm pretty lost with questions

[Tiqat]

So I'm 40, female and from the UK, and have been struggling a lot recently. I have long standing mental health issues with depression, anxiety and have a diagnosis of Avoidant Personality Disorder but occassionally, and now, questions as to Autism are more on my mind and I'm not sure whether it's worth looking at having it assessed but then I think well maybe it's from other elements but then perhaps it all feeds into each other. I have never really been able to hold down a job due to flair ups of my emotions and I don't have friends and keep to myself mostly and am very reserved.. 'official' almost. The thing that stands out to me that isn't related to depression, but maybe is perfectly common, is I will engage in these list making behaviours of say what I think the coolest looking pokemon are (I don't play the games) or animals. The largest thing I did is I went through every animal on wikipedia, broke down all the orders into families, into genera etc etc. I don't really know why although I like animals? And I will overresearch thinkgs having to find the 'best' option. It's been suggested to me in the past that maybe I should look at it by family but then at times I haven't had the best relationship with family so maybe that was to dismiss how I was feeling.

The main thing that makes me think I will be wasting everyone's time is that there is a strong early childhood element of the diagnosis and to be honest I don't really remember how I was aside from I tried to get good grades, did what I was told, but had this stubborn sense of justice at times. Under the age of 10 I remember playing with the boys in my school more but I would drift and then after that I started isolating myself so maybe it's nothing. I'm trying to just write things that come to mind down at the moment and don't really like the idea of mentioning it to my family if I don't have to. However my mental health is pretty appalling at the moment and maybe it's another insight as to why and might give me more suitable options. I have a GP appointment this week and I have one final session with my counsellor if I wanted to maybe get the ball rolling or say find out what my counsellor thinks (I have been seeing her just over a year).

Anyway I appreciate your time and patience in reading that. I hope it was coherent as my mental state is in some flux lately. My name is Katie

 

[Captain Caveman]

Hello Katie. Is an idea to ask if one could be autistic. (The waiting lists to be assessed vary a lot compared to which part of the UK one is from (Don't say for security reasons)).
A diagnosis answers some questions. It does not change who you are and neither will anyone seek to change who you are so do not worry!

I was diagnosed a couple of years ago in my early 50's. What it has done, is to help me get onto benefits, which has given me a much needed break to mentally relax, as I reached a point where if I did not get the help when I had, I can't imagine how I would be.

Autism has NOTHING to do with intelligence as there are the not so well gifted and the super gifted and various positions inbetween in regards to IQ level on the spectrum, and like-wize, there are various from those who are somewhat effected to the severely effected, and like-wize the odd few can do things that very few people can do. As autism is odd like that, as during brain development, the lack of brain connections in certain areas (Which is what autism generally is which can cause a whole host of differing issues from one individual to the next) causes the brain growth to amplify into other areas instead with certain individuals which is known as "Autism super power" though it is not always quite as thrilling as one may think! Hypersensitivities to certain things also caused by this extra developing certain areas...

Basically, the best example I can give people to describe autism is to think of a computer. Consider one of those earlier computers that has larger circuit boards. Now if one asks a random person who does not know about electronics or computers to cut through any wire track in the circuit board of a few computers, but not the same wire tracks in each one, and then go to run the computers.

Some won't even turn on.

Some will seem to run fine until one goes to get them to do a specific task such as upload information from its CD drive.

Others may also function well u til one tries to print something.

Others function odd. They may go crazy if one asks them to do too many tasks!

Others reach a certain point where they just shut down!

Some work ok otherwize, but the display on the screen does not workotherwise,

Now all these are analogies of what can happen with autism... There are many outcomes for the same type of cause.
I hope this gives a brief understanding of why no two people are really alike in how autism effects them...

 

[tree]

 

[FayetheADHDsquirrel]

Welcome!

 

[Crossbreed]

Hello & welcome @Tiqat!

Your own Dr. Lorna Wing stated that the basic feature of the spectrum was a lack of "social instinct," at least, with NTs.

See Autism Subtypes...

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

Welcome.

Go ahead and ask for the assessment. My understanding is that the waiting list is years long and you can cancel if you change your mind.

Autism often looks different in women and not all professionals are up to date on that.

 

[Azeth]

Glad to have you with us, @Tiqat

Mental health is affected by a number of factors. Environment, Interactions, and self-worth. These things can be exceptionally difficult for folks with ASD. I'd definitely reccomend getting yourself checked out.

Something to consider is that you may have ASD with a depression co-morbid. But I can only guess. I am not familiar enough with your situation to really say with any certainty.

However. I'd say limited interactions can be considered a sign of ASD. Especially if conversations are extremely difficult for you.

Also. You could be masking and it's keeping you unhappy. Something to consider, on top of all you stated.

 

[Outdated]

Welcome to the forum Katie. If you can relate to people's stories in here then they may be able to help you better understand yourself.

 

[Jumpinbare]

Hi, and welcome. I am one of those low support needs, high masking, very late diagnosees from the US, so I can't give you much UK based assessment info. But finding out I am autistic was like being handed the operator's manual to my brain.

 

[monkeyclogs]

hi Katie,

welcome to the forum.

this is get.

Last year my longstanding psychiatrist retired and the new one decided it was worth testing for autism. My mental health historical diagnosis sheet reads like a summary of DSM-5.

So they tested me and I am indeed autistic. It has helped to explain a lot. I'm not going to lie and say it instantly cleared things up. If i'm honest, right now, the discovery after all these years (i'm 46) has de-stabilised me somewhat. But, there are advantages. There's some hope that things might actually change, that i might actually get the help i have needed for 30+ years. It helps that they have arrived at a diagnosis that makes a bit more sense for me. i'm Autistic and Bipolar.

I have a lot of missing information from my childhood and it was quite challenging for them to separate out the effects of trauma from the developmental stuff. But, not impossible. The more I have learnt about autism the more everything makes sense. Clinicians knowing that I'm autistic has also helped.

so, yes, I think you should ask to be tested. After my experience, I actually think that everyone with longstanding 'complex mental health' should be as standard. it's frustrating that psychiatry (in our country at least) is divided into neurodiversity and mental health and the two never seem to talk. This is something you need to rule out or they need to factor in to your care.

whatever you decide, do stick around and ask as many questions as you need

 

[Tiqat]

Thank you everyone for your replies, I really appreciate it, more so at the moment. I know there's a lot of variation out there. I went to a support forum a few weeks back for people struggling with their mental health and there was a lady with autism there who talked about some of her difficulties and I felt I could relate quite a bit so maybe that's why it's more on my mind too. I will hang around here, I think just browsing will probably help me learn a bit more. I can afford a private assessment if I want to go that route. I do get overwhelmed by sensory things sometimes like I hate artificial lights on in the morning - my mum calls me weird for that one lol. But I have had a lot of headaches and some migraines and obviously I'm not a fan of sounds and light when that's happening.