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Hi Im new to this forum

lynn_B

New Member
Hi my name is Lynn, I have a 15year old daughter diagnosed with Learning disability, Anxiety, Autistic and OCD.
I don't really know where to start as there is just so much to my story!
I'm looking for advice and help...

Since covid 2020 my daughter got diagnosed with OCD we had alot more problems going on with her behaviour which she was violent to us and smashing our house up. She shared a bedroom with her youngest sister in which it got to dangerous so we had to put our youngest who is now 13 in our bedroom and we have been sleeping dowstairs on the floor on old sofa cushions ever since. It's to the point now where things are just getting worse, me and my partner are getting poorly with sleeping in this condition and my 13yr old wants her own room without our stuff being in that bedroom as well as it's too cluttered with her stuff and mine and my partner's stuff in there.

I am also a carer to my partner also as well as my 15yr old and if I've mentioned about moving to a 3 bedroom to them both which leads to arguments and upset as they both have mental health problems and moving is not an option. We could do with an extra room which was extended on to the house as an extra bedroom so we went to our housing officer which he took pictures of the house and garden asked us to get letters saying why we need the extension and the reasons we cant move house, anyway long story short they refused to help.

I got a lady who works with my youngest at school as she is a young carer to look into a Disabled facilities grant for us and to get an ocupational therapist round to look at what we need, only to be told they won't do it unfortunately as its not a disability they can see.... Which I thought that's out of order. Anyway I'm trying to do my own homework by trying to look into getting a grant myself as there doesn't seem to be anyone who wants to help us at all.

Has anyone been in this situation before or any help would be very grateful as I don't know what to do anymore. Thank you so much
 
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Hi my name is Lynn, i have a 15year old daughter diagnosed with Learning disability, Anxiety, Autistic and OCD.
I don't really know where to start as there is just so much to my story!
Im looking for advice and help...
Since covid 2020 my daughter got diagnosed with OCD we had alot more problems going on with her behaviour which she was violent to us and smashing our house up. She shared a bedroom with her youngest sister in which it got to dangerous so we had to put our youngest who is now 13 in our bedroom and we have been sleeping dowstairs on the floor on old sofa cushions ever since. Its to the point now where things are just getting worse, me and my partner are getting poorly with sleeping in this condition and my 13yr old wants her own room without our stuff being in that bedroom aswell as its too clutters with her stuff and mine and my partners stuff in there. I am also a carer to my partner also aswell as my 15yr old and if ive mentioned about moving to a 3 bedroom to them both which leads to arguments and upset as they both have mental health problems and moving is not an option.
We could do with an extra room which was extended on to the house as an extra bedroom so we went to our housing officer which he took pictures of the house and garden asked us to get letters saying why we need the extension and the reasons we cant move house, anyway long story short they refused to help. I got a lady who works with my youngest at school as she is a young carer to look into a Disabled facilities grant for us and to get an ocupational therapist round to look at what we need, only to be told they wont do it unfortunately as its not a disability they can see.... Whick i thought thats out of order. Anyway im trying to do my own homework by trying to look into getting a grant myself as there doesnt seem to be anyone who wants to help us at all. Has anyone been in this situation before or any help would be very greatful as i dont know what to do anymore. Thankyou so much
Hi Lynn, welcome to the forum. I am sorry about your situation. It’s not a good situation to be in and out of all of them in your family, i would argue that your other daughter is dealing with the most changes. You also shouldn’t have to move yourself around, and whilst it would make sense to move to a bigger house, it would probably be needed to be supported with the transfer by professionals involved. You say that moving is not option for them - why is that? If your daughter has ASD, OCD and additional disabilities, I don’t understand why you are not receiving support when you are definitely entitled to it. I’d ask your doctor, and the local authority for access to resources. And from understanding what you have written in your post, that you got someone to look at it through your younger daughter, then it would probably be better to initiate something through your older daughter with her diagnosed conditions: which then leads me to ask, does she have support in school? Does she have access to a psychologist? What type of learning disability does she have because the school could put in for her to have support depending on the level of severity she has. I don‘t have answers regarding housing, but if there’s a way for your daughter to have support through school or through a program that specializes in SEN, then she may be able to adjust to these….challenges. Really wish you luck with this.
 
Hi Lynn, welcome to the forum. I am sorry about your situation. It’s not a good situation to be in and out of all of them in your family, i would argue that your other daughter is dealing with the most changes. You also shouldn’t have to move yourself around, and whilst it would make sense to move to a bigger house, it would probably be needed to be supported with the transfer by professionals involved. You say that moving is not option for them - why is that? If your daughter has ASD, OCD and additional disabilities, I don’t understand why you are not receiving support when you are definitely entitled to it. I’d ask your doctor, and the local authority for access to resources. And from understanding what you have written in your post, that you got someone to look at it through your younger daughter, then it would probably be better to initiate something through your older daughter with her diagnosed conditions: which then leads me to ask, does she have support in school? Does she have access to a psychologist? What type of learning disability does she have because the school could put in for her to have support depending on the level of severity she has. I don‘t have answers regarding housing, but if there’s a way for your daughter to have support through school or through a program that specializes in SEN, then she may be able to adjust to these….challenges. Really wish you luck with this.
Hi Owliet, Thankyou for your reply, My daughter is on a statement and goes to a special school, she sees a child psychologist and has a moderate learning difficulty. The problem is during covid she developed severe OCD around her bedroom and kicked her sister out and costantly cleaning it ever since because of all the talk of diseases and viruses. She has been on medication for 2 years (Citalopram). She also has weekly sessions at school with a child psychologist. None of this has helped with her OCD and still refuses to let her sister and anyone else in the bedroom. We have had 2 different social workers, support workers from CAHMS all of them have tried to befriend her and work with her and she refuses interact with them in anyway. They have all basically told us that they cant help and discharged us.
 
Hi Owliet, Thankyou for your reply, My daughter is on a statement and goes to a special school, she sees a child psychologist and has a moderate learning difficulty. The problem is during covid she developed severe OCD around her bedroom and kicked her sister out and costantly cleaning it ever since because of all the talk of diseases and viruses. She has been on medication for 2 years (Citalopram). She also has weekly sessions at school with a child psychologist. None of this has helped with her OCD and still refuses to let her sister and anyone else in the bedroom. We have had 2 different social workers, support workers from CAHMS all of them have tried to befriend her and work with her and she refuses interact with them in anyway. They have all basically told us that they cant help and discharged us.
That’s really great that she has support in place. Perhaps, the school can do more for her? Does she have a good relationship with them? I am ASD but I am also a teacher, and it’s one of the areas that I am strongly passionate about with advocacy for SEN Support. The pandemic was really difficult for lots of people, but it seems that those who have disability found it even more challenging and they require more support to “get back to normal”. It’s understandable with her OCD that she has to constantly clean because of COVID and the anxiety. Has she had COVID or anyone she knows has had it? I think she needs to develop that OCD anxiety into something more positIve. Could she maybe try something like art therapy? Something to keep her active in mind and less inclined to waste energy on cleaning? I’m assuming the OCD was the major role in the kicking her sister out and that’s caused a ripple effect. What were things like before the pandemic? I’ve had citalopram and I often thought that it didnt really help me (I mean, maybe it helps your daughter) — how does she find it? It’s good that the school is supportive and she has that type of access and maybe it may be helpful if the school could be involved to talk about her OCD. I looked up CAHMS and my understanding is that this is a UK thing? I think it‘s understandable that she hasn’t clicked with anyone from t here, and I mean, active participation and putting a barrier up is one of the bigger hurdles towards interacting and supporting. Does she have someone around her that she does like? Maybe in school? It may also be useful if she went to a support group, like a youth group - I mean, I only have ASD and generalized anxiety but when I was 17, I went to a similar group because I didn’t interact with people around me, and only had my psych. The group allowed me to meet others who were also SEN.
 
Welcome!

The only thing I can think of that's separate from what Owliet has already suggested is whether you may be close enough to a different jurisdiction or service provider that you may be able to get other support workers to assist, if those that were assigned to you and/or their office is declining to?
 
Hi my name is Lynn, I have a 15year old daughter diagnosed with Learning disability, Anxiety, Autistic and OCD.
I don't really know where to start as there is just so much to my story!
I'm looking for advice and help...

Since covid 2020 my daughter got diagnosed with OCD we had alot more problems going on with her behaviour which she was violent to us and smashing our house up. She shared a bedroom with her youngest sister in which it got to dangerous so we had to put our youngest who is now 13 in our bedroom and we have been sleeping dowstairs on the floor on old sofa cushions ever since. It's to the point now where things are just getting worse, me and my partner are getting poorly with sleeping in this condition and my 13yr old wants her own room without our stuff being in that bedroom as well as it's too cluttered with her stuff and mine and my partner's stuff in there.

I am also a carer to my partner also as well as my 15yr old and if I've mentioned about moving to a 3 bedroom to them both which leads to arguments and upset as they both have mental health problems and moving is not an option. We could do with an extra room which was extended on to the house as an extra bedroom so we went to our housing officer which he took pictures of the house and garden asked us to get letters saying why we need the extension and the reasons we cant move house, anyway long story short they refused to help.

I got a lady who works with my youngest at school as she is a young carer to look into a Disabled facilities grant for us and to get an ocupational therapist round to look at what we need, only to be told they won't do it unfortunately as its not a disability they can see.... Which I thought that's out of order. Anyway I'm trying to do my own homework by trying to look into getting a grant myself as there doesn't seem to be anyone who wants to help us at all.

Has anyone been in this situation before or any help would be very grateful as I don't know what to do anymore. Thank you so much
 

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