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K

Kellie

New Member
Hello, I believe my 9 year old boy is autistic, he is high functioning very bright but has trouble in social situations, and loves a routine… thing is the school won’t put him in for assessment as he is learning at a very high standard and as he doesn’t need any help with school work.. how can I get him tested if the school aren’t interested? I’m a single parent and new to all this, I would like him assessed as I feel if he is autistic me and others would understand him better and be able to help him in social situations more… where do I go please help!!
 
My daughter sounds like your son. I always encouraged her to have friends. Homeschooling really helped. She later went to performing arts high school, with a bunch of other awkward teenagers and survived. She is now a year away from finishing college. I never labeled her or sought any testing for her. Probably because l thought she was normal. I never over- managed her. I did insist she get a driver's license. I did drive her to HS and pick her up everyday which l think really helped her. She decided to start working p/t on her own once she had her driver license. I always treated her like a mini adult. Hope this helps you. And her grades have been excellent in college. HS,- her grades were all over but teenager years are tough for them. I am undiagnosed, l believe it runs on my mother's side.

My daughter is able to hyper-focus. She also didn't have many friends. She was a serious gamer for tween years. I never managed her time. I allowed her a lot of freedom.
 
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Thank you for your replys.. I am in the UK... I want him tested because I think if he is autistic it would explain why he is a little different and will be able to explain this to family and friends and we would all be a little calmer and understanding, obviously he has to follow rules like everyone else and he is a pretty good easy child, but when he does have melt downs I'll be able to explain and help him in a better way.. I don't know if I'm explaining things in the right way!! So if school are still unwilling to help do I go to our gp to source some help?? Or just leave it and try and help him myself? My family will be more understanding if we have it on paper and official diognsis
 
Guess my daughter had a lot of time to herself. Maybe that's what kept her from having meltdowns. Homeschooling was low key, and she loved it because she hated getting up early.

Giving him time to recharge might help. If he has his own bedroom, that really helps.
 
Kellie said:
Thank you for your replys.. I am in the UK... I want him tested because I think if he is autistic it would explain why he is a little different and will be able to explain this to family and friends and we would all be a little calmer and understanding, obviously he has to follow rules like everyone else and he is a pretty good easy child, but when he does have melt downs I'll be able to explain and help him in a better way.. I don't know if I'm explaining things in the right way!! So if school are still unwilling to help do I go to our gp to source some help?? Or just leave it and try and help him myself? My family will be more understanding if we have it on paper and official diognsis
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Your pediatrician may be able to get you a referral to a testing center,...that is,...if he/she is questioning the potential diagnosis themselves. In my experience, though, with the Asperger's variants,...especially those with higher intelligences,...they may be overlooked by parents, teachers, and health care providers, as they may not be perceived as meeting some of the stereotypical symptomatology of an autistic. So, this is where actual testing can be useful. Sometimes parents do have to do things on their own and find a testing center. Official diagnosis can be helpful in many cases.
 
Kellie said:
Hello, I believe my 9 year old boy is autistic, he is high functioning very bright but has trouble in social situations, and loves a routine… thing is the school won’t put him in for assessment as he is learning at a very high standard and as he doesn’t need any help with school work.. how can I get him tested if the school aren’t interested? I’m a single parent and new to all this, I would like him assessed as I feel if he is autistic me and others would understand him better and be able to help him in social situations more… where do I go please help!!
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Hello. I understand. I sent you some information privately, and a link sent there, too. I hope that helps.
 
I hope you can get definitive help. Growing up in the 50s through 70s, Autism was rarely thought of except when severe, so I went undiagnosed. My intelligence and academic performance left people thinking I was normal and even though people could see that I was socially isolated, I think they believed it was a choice. So, I never was offered help. Consequently I did not meet social milestones at appropriate times though I still had normal needs and desires. The isolation was traumatic for me.

I could have used social counseling and with your son having problems in social situations, perhaps such counseling would be appropriate. What would be valuable is doing that through somebody also trained in working with ASD.
 
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Welcome! I'm not too familiar with how things are in the UK but we have members from the UK or with connections there who might be able to provide advice perhaps. Good luck!
 
I'm in the UK too. You can go via the GP, probably the best first move, if not helped enough or if there's a long wait for specialist assessment , you can look into getting assessment privately, costs more as you would need to pay. Have you mentioned this to him at all? Autism can affect our social interaction more strongly than our intellectual abilities. Surprised and disappointed if school doesn't recognise this. But I don't think their reaction is that unusual either.

Having said that, many on here are older and either ended up self diagnosing through personal research, and/or being diagnosed in later life. A middle way can be to find out plenty about high functioning autism yourself, and use this knowledge to assist and support your son, if you continue to see behaviours that are in line with your research.

Remember especially this is a neurological difference, not a deficit in itself. We are all uneven. He has some unevenness, just as we all do. Many of us, growing up unknowing and undiagnosed, had good careers, but may have benefited from understanding the root of our social difficulties sooner. But though it's good to offer appropriate support, the goal isn't to drive the child into masking his true feelings or wishes about social interaction.

He may be introverted, or need more than usual time to rest from a busy day with others who are probably mainly neurotypical. I like to decompress after a full day learning or at work, and still do not function well in unstructured social interaction, and tend to avoid such now, I go for semi structured interaction such as a class or volunteering. School may provide enough such interaction to satisfy him.
 
Kellie said:
Hello, I believe my 9 year old boy is autistic, he is high functioning very bright but has trouble in social situations, and loves a routine… thing is the school won’t put him in for assessment as he is learning at a very high standard and as he doesn’t need any help with school work.. how can I get him tested if the school aren’t interested? I’m a single parent and new to all this, I would like him assessed as I feel if he is autistic me and others would understand him better and be able to help him in social situations more… where do I go please help!!
Click to expand...

I was diagnosed after being test by a neuropsychologist. I saw her for three months. She did many tests, some seemed silly and easy, some were so hard for me I was very surprised. My insurance paid for it. I do not know what you can do but maybe your son could see a neuropsychologist.
 
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