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Help ~ it's harassment

Kayla55

Well-Known Member
Thanks, I'm actually reflecting back on my life, I suppose it's bad but I think it can be useful for others. My Mom is the nutto in old age home and this is a repeating theme: people don't understand what is wrong with you or why you can't get a job.
A key point is in women's roles, society believes this is what a women is good for and when women enter so called man's place it is met with hostility. People may also perceive you as another feminist on rise without understanding how women struggle with socials.

I believe instead of judgement at differences between men and women on spectrum that we can help one another. Whilst a girl will pick up false and avoid certain people and say it in group at school, not to say we are social butterflies.
 

Kayla55

Well-Known Member
Order for 2 latte is upcoming nightmare, and on tray is cappuccino and 1 glass white wine with extra ice.
Latte also has saucers!! Nightmare

Next order is for table of 6 who have ordered bottle of wine and bottle of sparkling g water for table. So it's total of 12 glasses. To have flair and co-ord is not happening.
Also having the ease to talk to customers about specials whilst taking each glass off a tray full glasses, holding tray straight and placing glass on tble. Nightmare

Carrying food plates, when busy need to take 4 or 5 plates of food and not drop this. It's about experience but it's also about strength in wrists and balancing plate on arm, plate in hands.

,....,........x............

The card shop was just irritating, masking and wearing make-up fitting in and saying sweetie, constantly being surrounded by people and not being able to switch off. Trying not to get irritable, or look disinterested in how she can't find that colour with this print.
You just not right people person we were looking for. Having flair, gift of the gab. Chatting with other shop workers or owners and being female community flag.

,..............x..............

Internet cafe was ok job, stayed there for quite a while. Mostly peoe are browsing and busy so calm and manageable envinmsnt.

One of things that men interpret about autism is that you must be better at sewing. Ye, but this is problem with masking is that it leads m en and people to believe you are more than capable, promotes idea of suitable jobs for women and doesn't consider.

A busy admin office may cause headaches, but is more likely an option for aspies female to hold down a job.

Ask people to be considerate of this.
 

Judge

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
and this is a repeating theme: people don't understand what is wrong with you or why you can't get a job.
Sad, but true. With a vast majority who don't understand autism and are otherwise indifferent about it.

With far fewer people wanting to understand and succeeding. Leaving the smallest amount of people to want to know about autism and succeed in doing so.

That there's just no incentive for an alleged 98.2% of society attempting to learn neurological differences of a 1.8% neurodiverse minority. That's the real "repeating theme" IMO.
 

Kayla55

Well-Known Member
Sad, but true. With a vast majority who don't understand autism and are otherwise indifferent about it.

With far fewer people wanting to understand and succeeding. Leaving the smallest amount of people to want to know about autism and succeed in doing so.

That there's just no incentive for an alleged 98.2% of society attempting to learn neurological differences of a 1.8% neurodiverse minority. That's the real "repeating theme" IMO.
What I say here, describing why job didn't work is more insightful than reading an article blandly describes jobs better suited. I don't always connect dots with words or concepts at first, so my whole life I was considered slow or low functioning!! My confidence improved when I learnt what I was better at.

One day I was so upset about finding my first job....I wondered off to the park in the dark. I sat on the swing thinking.....
So why do low functioning people do this crazy thing....maybe it's searching for a way, maybe extreme lack of connection or relating to the world.
Just a thought
 

Kayla55

Well-Known Member
Lucas king....dark piano
I listened to this and reminded me of wandering off. Low functioning?
 

Kayla55

Well-Known Member
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Judge

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
What I say here, describing why job didn't work is more insightful than reading an article blandly describes jobs better suited. I don't always connect dots with words or concepts at first, so my whole life I was considered slow or low functioning!! My confidence improved when I learnt what I was better at.

One day I was so upset about finding my first job....I wondered off to the park in the dark. I sat on the swing thinking.....
So why do low functioning people do this crazy thing....maybe it's searching for a way, maybe extreme lack of connection or relating to the world.
Just a thought
Just finding and interviewing for a job was always the bane of my existence. Actually doing a job- any job not so much.
 

Kayla55

Well-Known Member
Just finding and interviewing for a job was always the bane of my existence. Actually doing a job- any job not so much.
I received guidance on how to ace an interview. What to say, what to highlight, n what not so say. Then I would rehearse...
This helped me a lot. When it comes to computer jargon my language is geared for business....I tend to have a direct approach which suits my industry. I did some analysis at one stage due to project being late. Usually I only leave my desk for coffee...the client was happy, I'm methodical, analytical and very precise on requirements. Never imagined myself consulting but I think it's experience that lends one .....
There is high English and business English so when I speak of components, analysis capabilities....I don't feel so el stupidity
 

Kayla55

Well-Known Member

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RyuTora2808
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30+ Years of Struggle as an Autistic Black Woman in America8mo
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What are some examples of how people with autism have it rough?

Job hunting, job hunting, job hunting. Most of what it takes to successfully land a decent job doesn’t rely on knowledge or actual practical skill (things autistic people are most likely to be strong in), but social skills and resources like a broad social network, the ability to give adequate eye contact, and the ability to decode and communicate in heavily coded social language (things many autistic people struggle with). As a result, the modern job hunting process, from resumes and cover letters to interviewing, can not only be stressful and confusing, but also often leads to long-term unemployment or underemployment due to neurotypical H.R. managers and recruiters dismissing or misjudging autistic candidates. The autistic person may be the perfect fit for the job, but if they don’t have a broad enough reference pool or are too direct in their cover letter, or come off as too socially awkward in an interview, or even just give an unexpected answer to one of those opaque and heavily coded interview questions, they will be passed over for someone less technically qualified but more socially adept.
 

paloftoon

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I don't know if it's a global thing, but it's definitely a US thing. There are blonde jokes that while can be kind of funny, at the same time have a tinge of not being funny because most are purely based on "blondes being air headed and ditzy but still lovely as all hell anyway". There are people probably attracted to you, but then also feel they can harass you simply because of your hair color and beauty sadly.
Learn some coping skills to stand up for yourself. If someone is distracting you at work while you're doing work, ask them to leave your space immediately and just keep repeating yourself for 20 minutes or more if you have to. Stand up for yourself, and then report them to HR if something is done during a work environment, you're trying to work, you gave warnings, and if the person does not stop after being warned.
 

bluhmaster

Certified Puppy
I had this problem with men all my life, I'm harassed, bullied when I say no, pushed into things. Does being an attractive women or in my case a dirty blonde affect men's perception of you, not just in how unhappy I am about unwanted advances all time but in a general lack of respect that you are stupid, no way you different or that I cant do anything for myself.

Does hair colour and attractiveness mean you must be low functioning as in stupid.
i have advice for self defense, either pick out the beta male's insecurities and deflect them in the form of insults, or learn some self defense, hope this didnt come off as too strict, for this can be used as a last resort.
 

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