HELLO

[GardenArtist]

I am new here. I'm 57, female, and I was diagnosed this year. I am trying to meet more people like me! Is this a good place to start?

 

[tree]

 

[Grondhammar]

Hi @GardenArtist, welcome!

Yes, this is a good place to start. I joined up here a couple of weeks ago (also recently diagnosed), and at first was overwhelmed with the number of posts and forums and subforums. I'd suggest browsing around at your own pace. You can find topics that are interesting to you and join in the discussions, or feel free to find an appropriate subforum and share/ask as you wish.

There's a lot to take in, but everyone I've corresponded with has been really supportive and welcoming.

 

[Outdated]

I am new here. I'm 57, female, and I was diagnosed this year. I am trying to meet more people like me! Is this a good place to start?

Hi and welcome to the forum. We've got people of all ages in here from a great many different countries and it's the greatest resource for learning about autism that I have found. Talking to other people with the same lived experiences as yourself is much more useful than information provided by professional people that try to understand but don't really.

 

[Aspychata]

Hello, welcome to the forum. Do you have special interests you wish to share?

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

Welcome. Do you have a garden?

 

[RemyZee]

Glad to have you here. It is a place to be yourself and to learn.

 

[FayetheADHDsquirrel]

Welcome!

 

[grommet]

Hi and welcome to the forum. We've got people of all ages in here from a great many different countries and it's the greatest resource for learning about autism that I have found. Talking to other people with the same lived experiences as yourself is much more useful than information provided by professional people that try to understand but don't really.

We understand, they cannot. I meet strangers who are autistic and understand them so well. I have known doctors or counselors for years who do not understand me at all. They observe and take notes and refer to them when talking with me. I try to explain but they cannot understand.

When I was going to in-person autism meetings I found out about how autistic people understand each other. We were all so different but our conversations made such sense. I do not remember anyone in a meeting saying they did not understand something someone said or talked about. It was like an intimacy we had so quickly with people we just met. I loved that and I miss it.

I need to give up trying to explain to non autistic people. I have tried so hard but I make no progress. My biggest problem with them is getting them to believe and understand I speak literally. They look for meaning underneath. There is not one. I would say if there was something else.

After the in-person meetings we always went for a meal together. Not everyone but some would go. It was the discussion that was so wonderful. We could not have had it with NT people there.

The leader would ask if someone was coming for the meal and a person would say no. That was the end of it. No questions about why, just acknowledgement and acceptance of the answer. Are you going? No. or yes.

Or I do not want to. Or, I would but I do not like that kind of food,

People being honest and direct and all of us understanding and none of us offended because it made no sense to be. Facts are not offensive. They seem to be for NT's because things always have more than one meaning for their communication.

With anyone in my group or my ex girlfriend I would say, "Go away now." and they were not upset and understood and would leave me alone. NTs get very offended. It must mean more to them. It is only a fact for me that I could not process more, I had to stop, they must go away. No offense in that and having autistic people understand me was the best feeling.

 

[Grondhammar]

People being honest and direct and all of us understanding and none of us offended because it made no sense to be. Facts are not offensive. They seem to be for NT's because things always have more than one meaning for their communication.

I'm new to this, so the above is probably obvious to most of you all here. But, this has been incredibly confusing for me.

For example, I once said "That tree has the perfect shape to it" and could instantly tell I had said something wrong but had no idea why. It turned out that my neighbour had some sort of intense gardening war with another neighbour, and I complimented the neighbour's tree instead of theirs. And the person I was talking to got very offended and cold.

And I can't tell you the # of times I've been told that I was too quiet instead of saying the right thing, and so therefore it shows that I don't care, and am consciously being selfish and cruel for *not* saying whatever I was expected to say.

This was before I realised that there are a lot of people who "read between the lines" and those lines often say the worst possible thing about other people. That's a reflection on them, not me. It's still not a happy feeling, but way better to understand what's happening.

Anyway, I am so so so so so glad I found this place! It makes me wish there was an autistics chat group near where I am.

 

[Rodafina]

Welcome @GardenArtist. I hope you have a good experience here and find some topics and some members that interest you.

 

[AndyAmo]

Welcome @GardenArtist This is a welcoming and supportive forum. I was diagnosed at a similar age myself. I've learned a lot about myself and autism here. Great to meet you and looking forward to hearing more from you.