Fortunately I do have my own room and it is my safe space.Clutter isn’t a problem…. Until it’s a gigantic problem for me. I go from not even seeing the mess to desperately trying to fix the mess. It’s exhausting.
Do you have your own room or a car that’s only yours? Long before I had a stable living situation, I had a car. It was a rolling pile of crap but it was my space. I waxed it, polished the rims, and vacuumed the interior almost daily. I kept my favorite things in it and it made me feel ‘at home’. It was long before I knew anything about Autism and hadn’t self-diagnosed for another 20 years.
Maybe you could find a space that feels like my car did to me? It could even be your favorite tree at a local park. Go plant a few flowers and water them daily. It only needs to be a place where you can be certain that you have control of the noise and chatter in your head without interruption from those in your life who cause stress, even if they are well-meaning people.
Also…. college degrees are becoming less and less valuable. Employers are requiring them for good paying jobs but experience is becoming more and more what gets the job. Having said that: If you quit school, you’ll probably never go back. You have a huge decision to make.
Is it your house? Is it your name on the lease or mortgage? I’m gonna guess the answer is “No”. You can’t fix anyone else’s problems, especially if you haven’t been able to fix your own. One day you will have your own home. That’s the day when it’s your responsibility to “fix the mess”
The tree idea is an excelente suggestion, nothing helps mental health more than nature, right? I’m lucky to live with a good amount of yard that looks like a jungle… but lately I’ve been so caught up in my head I haven’t even appreciate it. I should definitely go out more.
And no, this is not legally my house, but I’ve lived here most of my life. I exist here and I contribute to the mess… I feel like I have a third of responsibility (as there are three adults living here).