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Hello, Im Alice,

A

AliceBlossom

Member
Im a 17 year old girl, and after years of my life of being told I was crazy, weird, and a concern to my family, I started to seek out for help. All of my friends throughout my life were special education, some diagnosed with Autism. I found that I had trouble associating with people, I could only connect with people who were equally as "odd" as me. After examination and realizing that I had autism, it really explained a lot; it helped me overcome some personal turmoil. I always felt that everything was my fault, that I acted the way I did on purpose no matter how hard I tried to be normal, but now I realize (and my mom) that those attemps shouldve been focused on me trying to understand myself to help myself.

my parents always noticed my odd behaviors like catatonia, central apnea, reserved/asocial ,panic episodes, intense daydreaming, overly emotional, impulsivity, obsessions and more things; they never thought much of it and simply brushed it off as a "shes just a kid" thing, but as each birthday approached they realized it was a "me thing". They never worried about me untill now because im very smart seeing as im good at math and science and always read when I can. They just figured that I was weird because I was clearly not stupid, so shes just "weird", but after talking with doctors we decided to get me tested for autism. While doing so I've never felt more understood— more normal in my life. I wont lie at first I was ashamed, but now I dont feel alone anymore or that its my fault for being certain ways sometimes (like impulsive or obsessive— I try to work on it of course but its good to know that I'm actually trying). I finally feel like people understand me and I can understand myself better; sure I often wish I was normal because of my difficulties in just daily life, but if this is who I am then thats fine.. I have to stop letting this overcome me and just learn who I am and try to be the best version of myself. If anyone reading this feels like they have autism too, I suggest getting tested, theres no feeling that matches the feeling of clarity! and if you aren't then its okay, at-least you can identify with people who are similar to you, no one has to be alone. there will always be someone who can know you.
 
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Hello and welcome, Alice Blossom.

What a positive and wonderful post. Of course, it sounds like you certainly struggled to get to this point, but there’s such hope for your future as you move forward with new understanding and a feeling of acceptance.

There are people from all over the world and of all different ages here. In my experience, it has been a very accepting and understanding group. I hope you make some connections here and continue this journey that you are on in the right direction toward optimism, self acceptance, and a hopeful future!
 
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Welcome! Looking back, I think many of us would find that some of the folks we connected with best were likely also neurodiverse. It's kind of like a found family that finds itself. :)
 
Hi and welcome. I absolutely agree with you that accepting yourself and being the best you can be in ways that make you happy and fulfilled are great ways to approach autism. Aspergers /ASD wasn't understood much when I was your age, but many of us with high autistic traits or Aspergers were growing up and setting out in life, yes, a bit unusual, quirky, uneven, seen as shy or introverted maybe.

Although I do think there were some advantages to not having been labelled at an early age, I spent many years feeling puzzled and odd, compared to most of my peers, and in retrospect it's good to know what the explanation has been for my differences. I knew I wasn't exactly shy, but yet found social mixing and forming friendships a challenge, as well as being clever in an uneven way, and an original thinker.

It's useful to know, and be able to factor this into find strategies that work for me in my life. It's good thatyou are here and finding out about yourself, and can see that you have plenty of positive aspects as well as some challenges, as everyone does, in different ways.
 
Welcome Alice!

You should never think of yourself as not normal. Think of yourself as exceptional, it will serve you much better in life. That might be seen as arrogance but it is more to do with self-preservation. Oh to be seventeen again and know what I have learned over time. Things do become easier to deal with and some of the things that worry us early in life fade to varying degrees. If you find who you are it matters not what others think, if you are comfortable in your own skin. I have never conformed to what people would force upon me and I still have had a better than average life, even if it took me a while to get started.

May you find peace, acceptance, and prosperity in your future.
 
Rodafina said:
Hello and welcome, Alice Blossom.

What a positive and wonderful post. Of course, it sounds like you certainly struggled to get to this point, but there’s such hope for your future as you move forward with new understanding and a feeling of acceptance.

There are people from all over the world and of all different ages here. In my experience, it has been a very accepting and understanding group. I hope you make some connections here and continue this journey that you are on in the right direction toward optimism, self acceptance, and a hopeful future!
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thank you! I hope so too :)
 
Thinx said:
Hi and welcome. I absolutely agree with you that accepting yourself and being the best you can be in ways that make you happy and fulfilled are great ways to approach autism. Aspergers /ASD wasn't understood much when I was your age, but many of us with high autistic traits or Aspergers were growing up and setting out in life, yes, a bit unusual, quirky, uneven, seen as shy or introverted maybe.

Although I do think there were some advantages to not having been labelled at an early age, I spent many years feeling puzzled and odd, compared to most of my peers, and in retrospect it's good to know what the explanation has been for my differences. I knew I wasn't exactly shy, but yet found social mixing and forming friendships a challenge, as well as being clever in an uneven way, and an original thinker.

It's useful to know, and be able to factor this into find strategies that work for me in my life. It's good thatyou are here and finding out about yourself, and can see that you have plenty of positive aspects as well as some challenges, as everyone does, in different ways.
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i agree! i often thinked about that at first. because not knowing i was autistic from an early age allowed me to conquer some things like learning that i can be more social (my parents really pushing me), and that i actually do enjoy going out with my friends, and learning a lot better manners. when i was a kid i really disliked going out, dislike talking to other kids, and always said what was on my mind- even when it was mean. i remember once i made a grown man cry at the age of 6 after telling him that if he didnt like his bunny teeth he should get surgery. ill never know if that was my poor impulse control or just me being a jerk, but what i do know is that through discipline and arguments with other people... that i shouldnt say everything on my mind and to learn better understanding of "not everyone thinks like you". that really was a huge lesson to me.
 
Richelle-H said:
Welcome Alice!

You should never think of yourself as not normal. Think of yourself as exceptional, it will serve you much better in life. That might be seen as arrogance but it is more to do with self-preservation. Oh to be seventeen again and know what I have learned over time. Things do become easier to deal with and some of the things that worry us early in life fade to varying degrees. If you find who you are it matters not what others think, if you are comfortable in your own skin. I have never conformed to what people would force upon me and I still have had a better than average life, even if it took me a while to get started.

May you find peace, acceptance, and prosperity in your future.
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thank you for your wisdom! i will keep this in mind...
 
Hello Ms Alice
This was tough to learn, don't say the first thing my brain thinks of, because we have to learn to mask and not say it. I just think my imagination is always 10 mins ahead of me trying to take the now and turn it into humor, logic, or screenplay. My brain just races along in storyline because l am intrigued by everything l don't know. You will fit in great here.
Oh yeah, welcome.
 
Aspychata said:
Hello Ms Alice
This was tough to learn, don't say the first thing my brain thinks of, because we have to learn to mask and not say it. I just think my imagination is always 10 mins ahead of me trying to take the now and turn it into humor, logic, or screenplay. My brain just races along in storyline because l am intrigued by everything l don't know. You will fit in great here.
Oh yeah, welcome.
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yeah, its certainly was one of the toughest things to learn. racing ahead and trying to think of how others will respond and creating screenplays- ah i felt that...

thanks
 
I wish I had been as mature as your age as you come off from this post... or even that I was as much now.

There can be an endless well of shame and confusion when one is seemingly so different and ill fitting with no fault of your own, but all you can really do at the end of the day is try to find your particular way to a fulfilling and respectable life.

Best of luck, young miss.
 
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