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Hello I am Upset that it took so long to find out this is why i am !!!!

SoloCup

SoloCup

New Member
Hi I am 44 My name is Jake I'm happily adopted, happily single, and had wonderful parents i always had the typical social issues of someone with aspies growing up, but misdiagnosed in early childhood with adhd and then later on with Bipolar disorder and Social anxiety, This very evening i was studying information about autism and Asperger's because my nephew is showing sings of autism and when i saw the symptoms and gained more and more information upon this subject I now realize I Have Asperger's and I need to know what to do now so that i can move on with life and possibly find social situations more acceptable instead of brutal torture. is there relief? my depression and social anxiety are crippling. I feel tremendous relief to know what has caused my many issues but am now very anxious to find out how i can help resolve this and possibly help myself and my nephew now that i have discovered the "problem".

So any suggestions on where to go from here would be greatly appreciated.
 
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welcome to af.png
 
I was diagnosed at age 55. Yes, I was upset as well, not because I have ASD (Autism/Aspergers...I think everything's under one umbrella now) but because it took this long to finally realize what my issue was. Now I know, means the power to understand it and how it can benefit me.

I refuse to be a lesser human because I'm wired a little differently than others. :)
 
I also was diagnosed at 55. I didn't think about it until my wife said something in 2020 after working at home together for 6 months. Once she mentioned it a lot of things that I had experienced suddenly made sense. While my life would have been different if I had known sooner, probably for the better. Its our experiences that make us who we are the good and the bad. Sometimes we need to get through the bad experiences to grow and live a better life. In time, you probably won't worry about what could have been and focus on what is.

The worst period of depression for me was around 2000, when I was traveling full time and alone most of the time. I was also going through a divorce, no kids from that marriage. It took years for me to find my current wife and learn to live as part of a couple. Hopefully, you get that as well. Having someone to talk/vent to can be invaluable. Your parents probably want to help, if you let them.
 
Hello Jake and Welcome. Resolving whatever issues you have has to come from within yourself. Everyone has problems, even those not on the spectrum. Life just keeps bombarding us and we are sometimes slow to adapt.

I took a long time sorting out my social anxiety. In my school years, my mother kept forcing me into things that I found highly uncomfortable. Recognizing certain things about myself through that constant exposure, I inadvertently kept exposing myself to things that made me uncomfortable, but there was always some overriding interest that could keep me there and eventually it became less of an issue. It never went away, I just learned to control it (with some anti-anxiety medication at the worst of times). Eventually I needed the medication less and less.

If you wish to deal with your issues, you need to confront them and work at them, a little at a time. Learning to read peoples faces and the hidden meaning a look can express takes effort as does what most consider normal communication. The problem is we are all individuals and our experiences shape us, so there is no one suggestion that I can offer to help much.

You now have new knowledge of self, and working through past situations using your new perspective might be beneficial. Seeking some form of therapy may also be of help, but I do not find it particularly beneficial unless there are medications to help get one through the rough patches.

There are many here that will identify with your introduction, so perhaps reading other's stories here might also give you something to work with.

I hope you find the peace you seek.
 
well i currently take Prozac for my depression and am afraid to get an anxiety script for fear of addiction i mostly medicate with medical marijuana and meditation. What I am wondering is do i seek therapy , a support group? what has worked best for you guys to better understand yourself?
 
I didn't begin to figure it out until at the age of 55. While I can certainly relate to being somewhat bitter about figuring out who and what I am so late in life, I prefer to be grateful to have solved this puzzle before leaving this plane of existence.

Welcome to Autism Forums.
 
Judge said:
I didn't begin to figure it out until at the age of 55. While I can certainly relate to being somewhat bitter about figuring out who and what I am so late in life, I prefer to be grateful to have solved this puzzle before leaving this plane of existence.

Welcome to Autism Forums.
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I feel the same way very relieved to know now, and hopeful for the future because now i can begin to accept myself.

heres my raads score
Total:203

Language:17

Social relatedness:90

Sensory/motor:55

Circumscribed interests:41
 
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SoloCup said:
Hi I am 44 My name is Jake I'm happily adopted, happily single, and had wonderful parents i always had the typical social issues of someone with aspies growing up, but misdiagnosed in early childhood with adhd and then later on with Bipolar disorder and Social anxiety, This very evening i was studying information about autism and Asperger's because my nephew is showing sings of autism and when i saw the symptoms and gained more and more information upon this subject I now realize I Have Asperger's and I need to know what to do now so that i can move on with life and possibly find social situations more acceptable instead of brutal torture. is there relief? my depression and social anxiety are crippling. I feel tremendous relief to know what has caused my many issues but am now very anxious to find out how i can help resolve this and possibly help myself and my nephew now that i have discovered the "problem".

So any suggestions on where to go from here would be greatly appreciated.
Click to expand...
There is lots of information on here for help in the threads . We all have different ways of adapting when necessary.
My advice is to make a particular thread about something specific or find one pertaining to the info and help you need .

If you you post lots of us here will try to help , either with info and personal experience examples.
 
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Welcome, M48 and self diagnosed a month ago after seeing an instagram post from the author Matt Haig on his late diagnosis and that just clicked my life into place.

So welcome, and hope you find the same comfort, learning and support that I've found.

As for where to go? All I can do is offer personal experience which was to read the Tony Attwood book on Kindle, and get some understanding of the past. Then accept that nothing changes in terms of who you are today, tomorrow compared to yesterday. But find comfort in the reason that past challenges haven't been your 'fault', and also to recast some memories instead of failures as huge successes.
 
Hi Jake. You will find a lot of similar stories here. I have probably written what amounts to this same message over a dozen times. You are in good company her. I too was diagnosed late (60). I always knew I was different and mostly gave up on socializing in college. I had no idea about autism until I was diagnosed Asperger's and PDD-NOS. The diagnosis answered the questions I had all my life. As you say, it is a relief to know what is wrong. I accepted the diagnosis quickly, but I still have trouble dealing with the might-have-beens if I had learned about it earlier. The best thing about knowing is that you now have insight into yourself, and can make better decisions because of it.

I suggest you take the Aspie Quiz and RAADS test. They may be helpful if you do seek a formal diagnosis. As far as social interaction is concerned, you are going to have to think long and hard. I have no friends (except here), and never had any. I have no social life, and fervently wish I could. The loneliness is constantly painful, sometimes excruciating, but I have learned to live with it. You may have to do the same.
 
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Welcome!

It takes some time to get to know oneself, but also keeping in mind that everyone is different, so strategies that were helpful for one person might not necessarily work for you. Also, intersectionalities and other conditions may also impact things as well. Overall, I do find reading and sharing stories to be helpful in discovering who I am.
 
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