Hello all :) I am here trying to research on behalf of my s/o, please take some time to read this

[biblicallyaccurateangel]

I'm attempting to look for some answers to some of the questions I have, and my first thought was to come to a place where of course... people have the same experiences and such as what im asking about.
I do not struggle with autism myself, which makes it harder to understand my boyfriend but im open and willing to change that, i want to help him the best i can
My boyfriend is an adult on the spectrum, with depression, ive come to try and find some good advice from the community.
He struggles with motivation and gaining control over his negative thoughts, naturally he views things very pessimistically and id like to find some ways to keep him in the right direction.
Recently, hes lost the will to entetain himself with his beloved hobbies, which honestly breaks my heart because i know how much he loves them, how can i aid him in getting back on track?
He also struggles with feeling alone despite being on a call or in a room with the people he enjoys being around along with some other common symptoms of depression.
I will say, he is motivated to handle his problems, he is highly willing to work with me and get back into the groove of things... get a bit more of a handle on everything.
Please let me know any useful tips you might have

 

[Outdated]

Hi and welcome to the forums. We're all different, but for me depression comes when social situations develop that I'm unable to process properly, especially in the workplace. Time away from people allows my mind to settle and get back on track again.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

There are several layers to this.

From a physiological perspective, autism is one of a handful of "low dopamine" neurological conditions. There are at least 3 different genetic variants within the autistic community that affect dopamine turnover,...resulting in varying degrees of depression. So,...there's that to deal with.

From a psychological and psychiatric perspective, most autistics will have some degree of communication difficulty,...recognizing all the subtle nuances of voice inflection, micro expressions in the face, body language, cultural and social nuances, etc. We often are "out-of-the-box" thinkers, with our own ideas and ways of doing things, and do not fit within the mainstream when it comes to just about everything. Most people, like familiar,...not "new and innovative" approaches,...and will quickly shut us down with negativity. Some autistics have miscommunication between the hypothalamus-to-posterior pituitary signaling of oxytocin and vasopressin,...the "love hormones",...and as a result tend not to bond easily with people closest to them,...and may not have any inclination towards meeting anyone new. OK,...I can go on and on here,...but the point being that when you have all this going on,...over time,...you end up having a disproportionate amount of "negative" interactions with people. Your behaviors,...often are influenced by your life experiences,...and if your life experiences with "people" are often bad,...you tend not to want to interact with them.

A lack of motivation is a combination of several factors. Psychologically, many people,...not all,...but many people need some purpose in their life,...a reason to get up and get going in the morning. For some it is a job, others, it could be taking care of something,...basically, being responsible for something or someone. Having realistic short-term and long-term goals is also helpful for many,...having something to work towards and look forwards to.

Depression,...if significant enough,...that can be literally life-threatening,...especially, if there is suicidal ideology. Unlike young teens and some females who threaten and give their loved ones warnings,...an autistic male will fully commit. I think I saw a recent statistic that suicide amongst autistics is 6X that of the general population. Absolutely tragic.

Several of us are on medications for anti-depression, anti-anxiety,...some for attention deficits,...but not all. All I can suggest is that if his depression is legitimately serious enough that it is concerning,...see a doctor, please.

 

[Rodafina]

Do you think he might want to come on here and talk to us? There is so much to discuss with autism and depression. I’m confident we could offer him information, understanding, and advice. There are so many perspectives that are freely offered here. Just dig in and start reading and reading… And reading! I would suggest your boyfriend come talk to us instead of giving advice through you. He may process things as some of us do, through slow written communication.

 

[Mr. Stevens]

I agree it's a great idea for him to come on here himself.

In case any of it helps, this is what works for me:

- Sleep well (of course)

- Eat healthy (a lot of the wrong foods can make me sluggish and irritable--I hate sweets)

- Manage interaction and stimulation (like environmental noise--I put in earplugs 1-2 hours before bed, to unwind)

- Be careful with stimulants. I don't know if he likes alcohol or caffeine or anything, but I am pretty sensitive to these. Even coffee can put me in a state where I'm not really feeling my emotions fully enough. Sure, I can be social and work, etc. But, I'm not as alive, outgoing, or happy as I would be otherwise. Best to make sure you are really in touch with yourself. This gives me much better emotional regulation, even though I don't have meltdowns.

- Journal about my feelings

 

[Aspychata]

Think first you need to let him know you are there for him, if your relationship is a very close one. I am not sure how committed you two are, and l don't want to assume anything. It's important to understand he may need counseling if he is sinking into depression, and this can affect you also.

It's great that you are here searching for answers, however he needs to be guided to counseling if he is losing motivation to do those things he loves.

 

[Storm Hess]

Lifting weights along with mma training helps change my focus and adjusts my mental state. Going on a walk helps remove myself from my own head.

 

[biblicallyaccurateangel]

There are several layers to this.

From a physiological perspective, autism is one of a handful of "low dopamine" neurological conditions. There are at least 3 different genetic variants within the autistic community that affect dopamine turnover,...resulting in varying degrees of depression. So,...there's that to deal with.

From a psychological and psychiatric perspective, most autistics will have some degree of communication difficulty,...recognizing all the subtle nuances of voice inflection, micro expressions in the face, body language, cultural and social nuances, etc. We often are "out-of-the-box" thinkers, with our own ideas and ways of doing things, and do not fit within the mainstream when it comes to just about everything. Most people, like familiar,...not "new and innovative" approaches,...and will quickly shut us down with negativity. Some autistics have miscommunication between the hypothalamus-to-posterior pituitary signaling of oxytocin and vasopressin,...the "love hormones",...and as a result tend not to bond easily with people closest to them,...and may not have any inclination towards meeting anyone new. OK,...I can go on and on here,...but the point being that when you have all this going on,...over time,...you end up having a disproportionate amount of "negative" interactions with people. Your behaviors,...often are influenced by your life experiences,...and if your life experiences with "people" are often bad,...you tend not to want to interact with them.

A lack of motivation is a combination of several factors. Psychologically, many people,...not all,...but many people need some purpose in their life,...a reason to get up and get going in the morning. For some it is a job, others, it could be taking care of something,...basically, being responsible for something or someone. Having realistic short-term and long-term goals is also helpful for many,...having something to work towards and look forwards to.

Depression,...if significant enough,...that can be literally life-threatening,...especially, if there is suicidal ideology. Unlike young teens and some females who threaten and give their loved ones warnings,...an autistic male will fully commit. I think I saw a recent statistic that suicide amongst autistics is 6X that of the general population. Absolutely tragic.

Several of us are on medications for anti-depression, anti-anxiety,...some for attention deficits,...but not all. All I can suggest is that if his depression is legitimately serious enough that it is concerning,...see a doctor, please.

thank you for this, it gave me some much needed perspective.