Having ASD and Work

[Lunafay]

In the last two years I have had two different jobs. I have always been a hard worker because I'm able to stay focused on what need's to be done. I used to work for the Government for 13 years so over those years I was able to get used to people I worked with. Living in a new state and working with new people has been really challenging for me. I can't do the small chit chat that everyone does, I see no point to it. I've always been quiet and it probably doesn't help that I look pissed off all the time but really I'm just deep in thought. I want to make new friends but at the same time I don't. I'm hoping it will just get better over time. Sometimes I just want to tell everyone at work that I have ASD and that's why I'm so weird but I don't think that would be a good idea either. Anyone else run into this?

 

[Fino]

I've run into the feeling of wanting to tell everyone so they'll know why I'm so weird, but I've never done anything about it so I'm not very useful for this other than to relate...

 

[stewdog80]

Sure, I have problems with co-workers. Whenever I will be talking with someone I will suddenly go into a deep thought and the other person will be expecting me to say something back to what they were saying and I will be lost in thought. From what I have read on here over the years, It is best to say, " I have trouble with ____." or "I have this issue with ____." Rather than saying you have ASD. The reason behind that is, most people won't even know what AS is, or if they do, they might associate it with some negative stigma or simply think of you as different, which you don't want. People don't want a lesson on what autism is. In a work setting, disclosing is a bad idea.

 

[Lunafay]

Sure, I have problems with co-workers. Whenever I will be talking with someone I will suddenly go into a deep thought and the other person will be expecting me to say something back to what they were saying and I will be lost in thought. From what I have read on here over the years, It is best to say, " I have trouble with ____." or "I have this issue with ____." Rather than saying you have ASD. The reason behind that is, most people won't even know what AS is, or if they do, they might associate it with some negative stigma or simply think of you as different, which you don't want. People don't want a lesson on what autism is. In a work setting, disclosing is a bad idea.

Thank you, that is good advice and it makes sense.

 

[BlueSky Aozora]

My husband is like this too! Moving to a new country + foreign languages that he doesn't know.. Now he doesn't talk to anybody at all except me.. He looks like a zombie & it worries me too much.

Do you at least talk to somebody daily?
Do you feel lonely or not?
How do you cope with loneliness?

Sorry for asking too much.

 

[Lunafay]

My husband is like this too! Moving to a new country + foreign languages that he doesn't know.. Now he doesn't talk to anybody at all except me.. He looks like a zombie & it worries me too much.

Do you at least talk to somebody daily?
Do you feel lonely or not?
How do you cope with loneliness?

Sorry for asking too much.

I have one co worker that I talk to daily and that is my manager. She is only one I feel comfortable talking to.

I feel lonely sometimes but honestly I prefer to be alone

I cope by keeping myself busy on projects or watching TV

 

[Progster]

I'm self-employed and I don't have coworkers - I'm a private tutor and telling my students or their parents that I have Asperger's really isn't a good idea, but there are other people I come into contact with who I wish I could tell. I've had this conversation with my partner, and he thinks it best not to tell people. People where I live don't know what it is and have very outdated and stereotyped ideas of what autism it, and they probably wouldn't understand. It also might negatively affect my relationship with them, or they might not take it seriously.

 

[Gracey]

I don't know that I can add anything useful

In no way are you weird. Full stop. Period.

But I can understand how easy it is to feel like that in a workplace.
On the peripheral, left out, not quite 'getting' the dynamics, making adaptation difficult.

It's easy to start asking 'what is wrong with me?' and spiralling into a pattern of noticing all one can't do, effecting self worth, confidence, reliability, ability to relate to others.

Don't know about anyone else,
I ghosted at this point. Ran.
Found another job.
Repeated the cycle.

I want to ask you this,
Are you good at your job?

Forget the social stuff for a moment,
Are you good at what you do? Productive? Contribute?
(That's what you're getting paid for)

Don't fall into the trap of believing you're not good enough because you're focused on all you can't do or can't mimic at the moment.

You don't have to make excuses for who you are.



If you do feel you could benefit from some changes the company could adapt for you, then that's a whole other thing and you'd have to disclose up the chain of command, so to speak.

When you wake in a morning, just before you (dread) going to work,
Remind yourself how awesome you are
You're a competent human being with much to contribute...

... And Gracey from the site had the nickname "marmite" at one workplace,
At least it's not as bad as that for me

 

[Lunafay]

I don't know that I can add anything useful

In no way are you weird. Full stop. Period.

But I can understand how easy it is to feel like that in a workplace.
On the peripheral, left out, not quite 'getting' the dynamics, making adaptation difficult.

It's easy to start asking 'what is wrong with me?' and spiralling into a pattern of noticing all one can't do, effecting self worth, confidence, reliability, ability to relate to others.

Don't know about anyone else,
I ghosted at this point. Ran.
Found another job.
Repeated the cycle.

I want to ask you this,
Are you good at your job?

Forget the social stuff for a moment,
Are you good at what you do? Productive? Contribute?
(That's what you're getting paid for)

Don't fall into the trap of believing you're not good enough because you're focused on all you can't do or can't mimic at the moment.

You don't have to make excuses for who you are.



If you do feel you could benefit from some changes the company could adapt for you, then that's a whole other thing and you'd have to disclose up the chain of command, so to speak.

When you wake in a morning, just before you (dread) going to work,
Remind yourself how awesome you are
You're a competent human being with much to contribute...

... And Gracey from the site had the nickname "marmite" at one workplace,
At least it's not as bad as that for me

Thank you, that is a much more positive outlook on my issues at work. I know I'm a hard worker and sometimes I feel like I'm bored in this position because I've gotten the job down so well. I have so many idea's in my head on how to improve my company but my social skills are so bad that I haven't been able to voice my opinion. Hopefully one day I'll feel more comfortable to speak. I've been there 9 months and everyone is still very new to me. Thank you again for your kind words.

 

[Highway Cowboy]

In the last two years I have had two different jobs. I have always been a hard worker because I'm able to stay focused on what need's to be done. I used to work for the Government for 13 years so over those years I was able to get used to people I worked with. Living in a new state and working with new people has been really challenging for me. I can't do the small chit chat that everyone does, I see no point to it. I've always been quiet and it probably doesn't help that I look pissed off all the time but really I'm just deep in thought. I want to make new friends but at the same time I don't. I'm hoping it will just get better over time. Sometimes I just want to tell everyone at work that I have ASD and that's why I'm so weird but I don't think that would be a good idea either. Anyone else run into this?

Yes I find work extremely difficult. I'm a HGV Truck Driver in the UK. For me it's ideal as I'm sat on my own all day in my truck, Don't have to bother talking to irritating people, can listen to whatever I want to on the stereo (usually talk radio as music irritates me). The problem I have is when I plan my run the night before, go in work in the morning and someone has changed it. I have full on meltdowns and just can't cope with the change of plans and change to my regimented routine.

I have recently got an Autism Alert Wristband so that if I should come into contact with police, medical professionals etc then I will just show my Wristband.

I don't know what the answer is about work. I just find every day more and more difficult to get through.

 

[Lunafay]

Yes I find work extremely difficult. I'm a HGV Truck Driver in the UK. For me it's ideal as I'm sat on my own all day in my truck, Don't have to bother talking to irritating people, can listen to whatever I want to on the stereo (usually talk radio as music irritates me). The problem I have is when I plan my run the night before, go in work in the morning and someone has changed it. I have full on meltdowns and just can't cope with the change of plans and change to my regimented routine.

I have recently got an Autism Alert Wristband so that if I should come into contact with police, medical professionals etc then I will just show my Wristband.

I don't know what the answer is about work. I just find every day more and more difficult to get through.

I agree, I have trouble with change in my routine too. I get really bad anxiety from it. It can ruin my whole day.

 

[Highway Cowboy]

I agree, I have trouble with change in my routine too. I get really bad anxiety from it. It can ruin my whole day.

Most certainly! Just the thought of anybody changing my routine makes me physically a wreck. I have often lay awake at night worried about there being a change to my regular run . I have considered telling my bosses about my Aspergers diagnosis but I worry what the reaction would be. I have an Alert Wristband which I keep covered up while in the depot.

 

[Highway Cowboy]

I agree, I have trouble with change in my routine too. I get really bad anxiety from it. It can ruin my whole day.

I can't do Smalltalk, chit chat, banter and the general hogwash like the other drivers so I must come across as arrogant, weird or odd to the others. I just don't understand them and would have nothing to add, I just don't get them and they don't get me, so I just do my own thing and get on with my job.

 

[Bronzelincolns]

the best thing you can do is mind your own business and do your job well.

 

[tducey]

Finding work has always been difficult for me especially this year. Still when I work I usually am received well for a good job and I enjoy working with my co-workers.