Have you ever not liked someone at all and not wanted to be there friend but felt forced to?

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

And also...it is hard having a trauma battle and you are unwell and being constantly pulled down and see others who are unwell and see them treated like poor her and feel like someone is kissing their bum so to speak and then being blamed for feelings and reactions and just wanting to be yourself and have your own life back because they cannot apparently find happiness or maybe that is actually a perception because I do not know.
Like the amount of responsibility on me when I have trauma, am burnt out, hsvd triggers and am unwell.
And I do not see in the first place how you can change a trigger but still feel blamed.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

Would you be referring to a church environment?

I find I do not like people who behave towards me, as though I am a nobody and it is argued that I should like anyone even if they do not like me, but I find that hard to do, because no one has actually said: I don't like you. And suffering from paranoia, it confuses me with changing behaviour towards me and thus, I prefer to not see them ever again.

However, in my faith, we have a study subject each weekend and this subject is about having intense love for one another. Now I get the concept, because one cannot have a group of diverse people, without having that love and support and unity; however, I wonder why I am the one who is being pushed to accept other's unloving behaviour, whilst, I must be the one to show the love.

I hasten to add: I have never been rude to anyone ( oh, ok, my husband), but even when I do not like another, I am not rude to them).

Faith has really disappointed me and pulled me away lately on may levels.
However I do believe God loves everyone as they are and encourage you to continue to pursue it if you feel like it is giving you something and you enjoy going to church and having a faith.
That is what I hace found difficult about faith too feeling the like you have to be obedient to God and do things in 5 seconds flat out of obedience or never challenge His will for your life or feel like you should be angry at God or hurt.
I feel like constantly loving people you find hard to love is challenging for a person with ASD as well as forgiving unless you feel genuinely ready to forgive and if you never do well does that make you less of a person maybe what happened hurt you so much that you do not have the heart to do it.
And it is hard to agree with God about everything also...
Even some Christians get angry for a while because of hurts and need grace. Some Christians are so rigid with these beliefs and it makes you wonder whether God is the same.
Also I have found it really difficult as I like to see God as really gentle and tender-hearted and I think at times He has to be tough and that has hurt me badly when I have already suffered so much is I need a bit more compassion and love from him because I am a lonely person in life, hace been through a lot and am in a lot of pain

 

[Mary Terry]

That is a problem I have found especially on Facebook..people who bore you to death with their problems who never really have anything interesting or uplifting to say.
That is why it is hard on Facebook to socialise or make friends.
And also you can give to people but they have no idea what a giver personality is like and if they have the chance they suck you dry of all your giving energy, go on and do better and then forget about you and claim they did it all themselves or that you never did anything to help them though they did not see the effort, the intentions of your heart or the amount or times you prayed for them or wished them well. And then never give anything back or even say thank you. And if they think it well on Facebook it is hard to read a person's thoughts and having high expectations when you have given as much as me seems normal.
There are energy vampires who bleed you for everything you have then do not have any intention of doing something back or showing geniune appreciation and admitting they did not get their on their own.
You know they are sort of person who once they go on and achieve fame and get to the top of their ladder they forget all about their apparent humble nature when they were really unwell. It only takes 5 mins so I guess they did not suffer that much because true suffering changes you and is memorable.
However that is why Facebook is the worse for friends because you woukd not know others at all only what they present on their pages and as a person with disabilities I am geniunely pretty open but always honest and transparent about my feelings at least.
Which is the reason I feel I get used and abused so much and gave up social media and have felt so much free and better since at least about that but still it has caused me a lot of guilt themes and self harm and made me feel worse because of the lasting effects from the triggers, feelings and negativity I saw on there.

That's why I have never had a Facebook account.