Have any of used this website for a while but made no friends here?

[Amethystgirl]

I don't know anyone on this website even though I very rarely message people.

 

[Matthias]

You're not alone. I don't think anyone here likes me.

 

[Amethystgirl]

I'm sorry you are having difficulty Matthias. I don't even know what to say to people.

 

[NB79]

I don't seem to ever make friends, maybe there is some 'condition' i have, apart from autism.
or maybe is just the autism.
I haven't able to figure it out.

 

[Crossbreed]

I feel like I am on friendly terms with most of the regulars here. I know that I have (unintentionally) rubbed some folks the wrong way, but you cannot please everyone...

 

[Tired]

even though I very rarely message people.

I mean... isn't it the answer on why you aren't on a friendly terms with people here? Because you don't talk to them much?

 

[AuAL]

Umm, this is not a dating app? We’re all autistic here. Follow along, join in on conversations, comment, listen. People will get to know you. Slowly. That’s how most of us do that stuff. @Amethystgirl, I’ve read your posts. I am sad about your difficulties building friendships, which you’ve mentioned. I wish I could help you, but I don’t know enough to intrude (and I suspect we’re in very different situations - I’m in my sixties.) But you are seen. Some of us are listening.

 

[Masked Man]

Do people make "friends" on a forum? I thought it was just for discussion.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

This concept of a friend, per se, doesn't fit within my paradigm when it comes to online relationships. Sure... I get along great with most people... good acquaintances... but I am here for the discussions. At least in my mind, a friend is someone that we share a life with... or at least an important part of... physically interacting with... eating meals, sharing experiences, looking into each others eyes, thinking of each other when we are apart, etc.

 

[Roisin]

It's a strange point in time, I came up through the early internet experience, where friends were an in-person thing, as were relationships.
Yet I have felt a connectedness to online friends, beyond discussion and commonalities. Online, as with regular life I've only found friendship success with people who are low maintenance socially.

Also being part of an autistic community gives me space to just be me, a break from social expectations. Where I see people giving more of their energy is when someone is in need beyond the everyday common difficulties.
I guess for me thats where I see the value of being among peers, the connectedness over shared struggles, if there was ever a genuine meeting of minds it would be in those situations. Yes its limited in what it can offer from a friendship perspective, but I'd take the authentic connection in those difficult times over anything forced or unsustainable over the short to medium term.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Even friends I have physical contact with I only occasionally visit,

 

[Aspychata]

I don't really view forums as a way to make friends, as l don't know enough about them. l made my last couple of friends by reaching out and seeing if we were both interested in being friends. You may try going to a special interest group and meet someone who may be like you in your interests. Just because you didn't meet friends here doesn't mean that you aren't friend worthy. Alot of people are busy 24/7, and a friend involves a time commitment for many of us, that we don't have.

 

[Amethystgirl]

I don't know what to say to people and I've try autistic groups in the past both online and in person and I don't fit in. I think I'm lower functioning than a lot of autistic people.

 

[Misery]

Do people make "friends" on a forum? I thought it was just for discussion.

It can happen, though it gets more and more rare as the internet devolves.

In my experience, like, 18 years ago? Not too hard to make genuine friends on forums. Some I knew for many years, and even met in person.

Nowadays? Dont hold your breath. The internet isnt about connections anymore.

It's hard to find people to connect with in any real fashion when the whole bloody internet is all about people trying to fill their own personal voids with "likes" and "follows".

 

[Judge]

I don't know what to say to people and I've try autistic groups in the past both online and in person and I don't fit in. I think I'm lower functioning than a lot of autistic people.

The important thing I see in all this is that you are a participating member of this online community. Just look at the number of registered members versus what many of us refer to as the "regulars".

While I can appreciate the reticence of so many registered members or lurkers from posting, I hope at some point they'd rise to do what you have been doing. To make your presence known and interact with your own kind, whether you believe you "fit in" or not.

 

[NB79]

I don't know what to say to people and I've try autistic groups in the past both online and in person and I don't fit in. I think I'm lower functioning than a lot of autistic people.

i believed too that i'm lacking something even other autistics have, i can't point it out but yes

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I don't know what to say to people and I've try autistic groups in the past both online and in person and I don't fit in. I think I'm lower functioning than a lot of autistic people.

What do you guys think your missing, how do you define low functioning, intelligence or in atypical thinking.What sets us apart is the atypical thinking, this will vary among us as a group. Just as intelligence will. Being one sigma in intelligence does not make you low functioning just average nor does one sigma in atypical thinking again just average autistic however still autistic. Nothing wrong in being middle of both bell curves.

 

[UFO]

Before you guys (all of you who are worried if you are liked, not just OPs) get to that "no-one likes me"-pit, try to remember that as an autistic people you might have just limited perception.

For example, I couldn't even tell if I have made any friends or enemies. It requires something really in-your-face kind of interaction me to realize that "hey, this person might like/dislike me". I have actually been slapped to the back of my head for being dumb enough to not notice that "she was all over me".

Forum-format creates even less interaction to analyze than real life situations, thus decreasing chances of noticing social signals.

(Hmm... I think this forum needs a reaction "a comforting hug". That heart-symbol does not quite mean same thing to me)

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Best example of this, after college started looking for relationship, used dating sites hanging in bars listening to bands play my thing never meet any women just had one drink sat alone. meanwhile by circumstance, ended up running rooming house, ended up with a number of single female tenants, why was I going to dating sites, hanging out a bars when I had a target rich environment at home. Found out later most of the ladies had made a deal If I picked one they would not fight, What an idiot I was, yes I picked one now married 45 years, still friends with the others. Took my wife and one of the other ladies out last night, to watch AC/DC cover band unfortunately had to leave early band did not play as venue had ball game on, which superseded the band. I'm not into sports, and the other lady had to work next day. Band would have played after game. Yes other lady is single.