Handshakes: How to Achieve a Lifetime Exemption.

[Autistic Yoda]

When you come prepared, refusing unnecessary ritual dude touching
is no longer insulting or personal to a guy just trying to be appropriate.

Wedding or conference? I'm always wearing an ace bandage. They'll just assume your right hand is too injured, and you don't have to put out.

Thing is, I'm contemplating a more permanent, 24/7 type of solution. A tattoo on my wrist. I'm not an artist. It needs to be functional, clear, and simple- but somehow better looking than the ugly design attached below. Ideas?

 

[Rodafina]

It doesn't seem like a wrist tattoo would convey the message clearly and quickly enough. It's not prominent and could easily be missed or ignored.

I'm not trying to be a killjoy, but just not sure such an extreme step would serve the purpose you need it to.

A t-shirt, a business card, or a strong, clear phrase might be ideas to consider.

 

[Judge]

I'd think in the case of most persons, it will ultimately require a verbal response.

Perhaps that you have an aversion to hand-shaking without going into any details. Letting the awkwardness of the situation followed by your silence to propel it to a quick ending.

 

[Autistic Yoda]

It doesn't seem like a wrist tattoo would convey the message clearly and quickly enough. It's not prominent and could easily be missed or ignored.

I'm not trying to be a killjoy, but just not sure such an extreme step would serve the purpose you need it to.

A t-shirt, a business card, or a strong, clear phrase might be ideas to consider.

I wouldn't expect it to be noticed. But when they reach in, I just hold out the tattoo in a wave-like gesture and say something like: "Lifetime exemption!"

 

[Autistic Yoda]

I'd think in the case of most persons, it will ultimately require a verbal response.

Perhaps that you have an aversion to hand-shaking without going into any details. Letting the awkwardness of the situation followed by your silence to propel it to a quick ending.

If I was willing to use awkwardness as a tool, I wouldn't need clever devices to smooth things out.

Saying "I'm more of a fist-bump guy" and then just putting out partially works in many settings.
If I can get away with it, I'll just say "We don't have to". It's actually more insulting if I DO shake his hand, because he can probably tell how much I'm hating it. The tattoo is an idea to just knock the entire problem out of the park for life. But if the feedback here is overwhelmingly negative, I'll seriously need to reconsider.

 

[Judge]

If I was willing to use awkwardness as a tool, I wouldn't need clever devices to smooth things out.

I use it precisely as a tool whenever someone aims sarcasm in my direction. When the other person is perplexed enough to just move on rather than pursue something stupid they said in haste. When you make it awkward for them- not yourself.

When someone says something transactional expected to evoke a response, don't give it to them. It's that simple. A handshake isn't any different, intended as a transactional gesture.

 

[Rodafina]

@Autistic Yoda
I loathe handshakes, too. And I always appreciate a creative solution to problems.

It is a clever idea, but I just think it's be going to difficult for people to understand it and will lead to you having to explain regardless. People who regularly use handshakes don't think like we do and will get easily confused, I think.

Something like huge red X tattoos across your palms might convey the message if you were willing to verbally explain, too.

I won't continue to tear down your idea, though. If you think this is the solution, then I've no reason to try to dissuade you any further.

 

[Autistic Yoda]

I use it precisely as a tool whenever someone aims sarcasm in my direction. When the other person is perplexed enough to just move on rather than pursue something stupid they said in haste. When you make it awkward for them- not yourself.

When someone says something expected to evoke a response, don't give it to them. It's that simple.

I get it. But handshakes aren't usually a form of attack. You've probably heard that they originated as a way for men to 'prove' they're unarmed. But the real reason behind it is that NT's actually get an endorphin release from touching each other. Like you'd get from touching someone you're sexually attracted to, but on a lower level.

By transactional gesture, do you mean the way salesmen use handshakes to lower the resistance barriers of potential marks? Or the symbolic gesture of sealing and closing a deal? Something else?

 

[Tired]

But the real reason behind it is that NT's actually get an endorphin release from touching each other. Like you'd get from touching someone you're sexually attracted to, but on a lower level.

Where from is this info? I'm NT and I dislike touching or being touched by people I dont know very good.

 

[Outdated]

I've never had a problem with shaking hands, and I do use people's responses to judge them. That's the whole point of shaking hands, the way they shake hands gives minor clues to their personality.

Some women want to hug people instead and I hate that for a couple of reasons:

1: Don't start what you have no intention of finishing.
2: Why is it always the women that wear clingy staticky nylon that do this? Touching them grosses me right out.

 

[RemyZee]

Not a fan of handshakes. One idea: my uncle always held his hands comfortably clasped behind his back. As long as he kept them there no one tried to shake his hand. They just thought he was contemplative.

 

[RemyZee]

Not a fan of handshakes. One idea: my uncle always held his hands comfortably clasped behind his back. As long as he kept them there no one tried to shake his hand. They just thought he was contemplative.

 

[RemyZee]

 

[Judge]

I get it. But handshakes aren't usually a form of attack. You've probably heard that they originated as a way for men to 'prove' they're unarmed. But the real reason behind it is that NT's actually get an endorphin release from touching each other. Like you'd get from touching someone you're sexually attracted to, but on a lower level.

By transactional gesture, do you mean the way salesmen use handshakes to lower the resistance barriers of potential marks? Or the symbolic gesture of sealing and closing a deal? Something else?

Transactional in the sense of something done expecting something in return. Which can be mutually beneficial or incredibly selfish depending on the real intent of a person initiating such a gesture.

Such as one alpha-male shaking hands with another male with a deliberate intent to squeeze very hard, to see if the other man reciprocates. IMO not to be confused with a friendly gesture. Something I experienced all too often in social occasions based on work.

"The games people play", which can take the sincerity out of such a benign gesture in a heartbeat.

 

[Jumpinbare]

It doesn't seem like a wrist tattoo would convey the message clearly and quickly enough. It's not prominent and could easily be missed or ignored.

I'm not trying to be a killjoy, but just not sure such an extreme step would serve the purpose you need it to.

A t-shirt, a business card, or a strong, clear phrase might be ideas to consider.

For what it's worth, I wear this when I have to be somewhere that handshakes or hugs are likely

 

[Autistic Yoda]

Such as one alpha-male shaking hands with another male with a deliberate intent to squeeze very hard, to see if the other man reciprocates.

I didn't even despise handshakes until my first wedding, when I experienced my first obnoxiously crushing handshake- the kind you don't recover from until the next day. Really sours the mood. Confronting these hand crushers doesn't seem to change them. They just play innocent every time.

This has got to be useful to someone: You can make your hand crush-resistant with a self-defense handshake technique where you point your thumb and index finger in the shape of a gun.

 

[velociraptor]

I dislike shaking hands but I do it anyway. And I am one of those people with a crushing handshake so anyone who tries to show off gets the Vanilla Surprise.

[ A doctor told me that hand exercisers would help me with dropping things. I'm now up to 130 kg grip on my right and and 110 kg on my left. This means I can open any jar on the planet now right before dropping it. ]

 

[AuAL]

I currently need the assistance of a walking stick, in my right hand…
That said, my grandfather instilled in me the importance of a firm handshake. He always shook my hand when we met, from when I was a little boy. I began to construct my mask…

 

[Outdated]

This has got to be useful to someone: You can make your hand crush-resistant with a self-defense handshake technique where you point your thumb and index finger in the shape of a gun.

I used to do similar many years ago, as a tradesman my hands were one of the strongest parts of me and I could tense the muscles to make them crush proof without crushing the other persons hand in response.

As I said above, a handshake gives hints as to a person's personality. Hand crushers are natural arseholes and bullies who are so cock sure of themselves that they think they can start standing over you the first moment they meet you.

It was funny one day when someone tried to crush my hand and couldn't, so he gritted his teeth and tried even harder. I just smiled and said "So you obviously don't want the job then.". My boss's ears perked up at that and he asked me what was going on and I said "Hand crusher dickhead.". Kev nodded at me then told the applicant "He's right. Get out.".

 

[TBRS1]

So do this:

In a handshake situation, make your hands into loose balls, cross your arms in front of you, tap your balled hands on each opposite shoulder, and give a little bow.

People will think its an ethnic thing and act a bit embarrassed.

Works like a charm.