Half baked Dreams: what are your dreams you gave up on?

[Rocco]

I have had many “Dreams” of what I want to do with my life. Most of my dreams I had to logically give up, although I still feed the dreams a little, just in case I win the lottery or something. Some dreams I gave up are:
Stoner snack restaurant with crazy munchies like cobbler, buttered pop tarts, ambrosia salads, cinnamon rolls with syrup, Unusual regional foods like scrapple, cheesesteaks, pierogies, and other weird munchies concoctions.
Being a professional; numismatist, painter, gemologist, marine biologist, or any sort of professional in general.
Moving to Japan.
Being an actor.
Being a musician (no rhythm or talent lol)

I keep painting, doing coral work, eating weird foods, and working with coins, however, I have stopped chasing those dreams and am ok with mostly getting by on electrical work and random coin sales.

What are some of your less than reasonable goals you let go of?

 

[Au Naturel]

I gave up on all of them and had to settle for a working-class existence with a bit of homelessness tossed in.

I didn't have any "unreasonable" goals. An NT person in my position probably would have achieved many of them. I was sharp in science and had great SAT scores and could have attended almost anywhere but my psychology disintegrated from depression and self-loathing. My ND brain kept me from really fitting in anywhere.

Out of sheer luck, 35 years ago I got an engineering position that never went anywhere. It did allow me to marry and have children and crawl around thru aircraft that did not officially exist. Not exactly a dream job but at least 3rd cousin twice removed to what I had dreamt of. After 9 years I got laid off because the Soviet Union fell and aerospace downsized. And that was that. No more lucky breaks.

I had other goals that I was delaying until I had both free time and money, like backpacking some of the long trails of America. As a kid, I was strong and fit enough to do almost anything but arthritis hit me at about age 35. Through cortisone injections, gabapentin, and pain meds, I'm able to do dayhikes and really short backpack trips but the chance for those big adventures is long gone. (They won't do a knee replacement until you're almost unable to walk.) The old "If only I'd done it when I could have" tale of regret.

 

[Misery]

I wanted to be a professional game developer, once. Even went to college for it. Didnt happen.

You might say "well that's a shame" but no, I freaking dodged a bullet. No.... not a bullet. A giant barrage of freaking cannonballs. What once would have been a dream job turned into an unholy nightmare. I'm so, SO glad I didnt make it through the door on that one.

Er...

Other than that I dont think I've ever had any "dreams", per say. I have zero ambition. None at all. Never really did, never really will. Even the desire to be a developer wasnt borne on the idea of a "dream job", or of wanting to accomplish something, it's just that it aligned with my prime obsession, nothing more.

 

[Giraffes]

Great post. I dream of being a singer in the vein of Billy Holiday or Ella Fitzgerald.......... Love to sing and when in funds will take lessons
Become a clothes designer like Alexanda McQueen......... Love individual style and mixing vintage with high street clothing
Be a sculpture artist like Barbara Hepworth or Henry Moore.... did make a clay figure during 'lockdown'. Lol Find a creative expression.... hope ,again when in funds to explore Lino printing as I love Edwin Baldwin.... become a Artistic maverick like Aubrey Beardsley who shocked society and did what he wanted regardless.... climb many mountains..... I have climbed Snowden........ be in employment where being me is more than ok....... starting a new job soon so hopeful on this one...... discover that Autism is part of me till I'm gone and learn to accept, embrace and move forward in life and learning with less regret, anxiety and depression.

 

[AprilR]

I wanted to be a support for someone i love. I can barely support myself as it is so this is out of question. I dont even have any friends and cant imagine myself in a relationship

 

[dragonfire42]

I wanted to be a veterinarian ever since I knew there was such a thing, but for several reasons, at about my second year of college I realized that wasn’t going to work for several reasons, chief among them being that I developed a tremor that means I couldn’t do any sort of surgery or other precision work, and I also developed a legitimate phobia of parasites, which I would probably encounter if I was a vet. I also had absolutely nothing going for me whatsoever for the application for vet school aside from my love of animals, which probably every single person who applies is going to put down. Zero reason to choose me over anyone else.

After college, I gave up on having any sort of career besides the crappy, low-pay jobs most people don’t want to do when I applied for easily over a hundred jobs, most of which even were crappy part-time jobs, and can count the number of places I heard a peep back from on one hand and after six months of applying for several jobs a day finally managed to get a job as a part-time janitor for a company that was so desperate for employees that there was no real interview, and my manager asked me multiple times if I knew anyone else who’d like a part-time job and was asking me to cover extra shifts every week.

I haven’t entirely given up my dream of living as close to independently as possible, but it doesn’t seem likely that I’ll ever gain any more independence than I already have, and due to health issues I have to at least set that goal aside for now.

 

[SolarPoweredNightOwl]

Mental health and stability. Longevity. Fatherhood. A career as a professor.

 

[SusanLR]

I just wanted to have a lot of money when I was younger.
For the simple reason it would enable me to live my life the way I wanted.
Away from society, surrounded by woods in a large house that
I could make my own world away from the world.

I would have had everything in it and around it that I could possibly wanted without having to
go out to do it.
Chefs to cook, maids to clean, and anything I wanted in between.
I even drew up house plans and decorated it in my mind inside and out.
It would have been for myself, my parents and a menagerie of animals.
Main focus on game rooms for entertaiment. Pool table, indoor bowling lane, pinball machine,
huge wall TV, computers, etc. etc.
Outside swimming pool, tennis court, greenhouse.

Yeah, I dreamt big with no idea how to achieve it unless I won the lottery I guess.
Something like this would do...

 

[Bolletje]

I want to do too many things to fit into a lifetime. Many dreams are, as you say, half baked and never fully formed before I discard them. The biggest dream I’ve given up on is becoming a medical specialist in radiology or pulmonology. Or basically any type of medical specialist. It still hurts, because I definitely have the smarts to do it, but the strain is just too much and I’m beginning to reach an age where I’m not even considered for a residency anymore. My medical degree won’t be going to waste, but my life isn’t taking me in the direction I had planned. I was once planning to start a private practice with my friends from med school and we all vowed to stay in the same city to make that happen, but obviously life happened.
I wanted to work with my dad in the same practice, both as doctors. I was his assistant for years, which was great, but he’s retiring now and I’m not going to be his successor because I don’t want to be a GP.

Other dreams that seem unlikely to ever happen: becoming a professional chef, a judge, a detective, a game designer, a singer-songwriter, a journalist, a proficient painter. I once dreamed of moving to another country and starting over again but these days I don’t even feel like leaving my neighborhood. I’ve dreamt of starting a non-profit for women with Aspergers and giving a voice to them in my country but starting an organization seemed too daunting.
I’ve always wanted to live in the countryside with some animals and a large garden, but seeing as I can’t drive and I’m unlikely to get a license anytime soon, that probably won’t happen.

It’s not all bad though. A lot of awesome stuff happened too, some of which I never dreamed off. And I’m curious to see what life has in store for me from now on. I’m taking classes at a writing academy to hone my writing skills, and while I don’t believe I’ll ever make a living off of my writing, it’s fun to hone a skill. And I’m starting a new job in November that seems more suited to my Aspie sensibilities and gives me the option of being the directors assistent one day a week as a management trainee. Not a path I ever seriously considered, but one I’m curious about.

 

[Rectify]

@Rocco you've got some cool dreams listed there I hope you do win the lotto

Yes, I've had to give up on some dreams. There are the ones that might have been possible like being in research (that is being the researcher, not a participant in research - I could probably do that )...I think it might be too late for that, well, no, really I just don't think at this point that I can manage it with my health issues. I suppose that one I still keep a teeny tiny flame for.

Then there are things like being a singer which NEVER in a million years would I have been able to do. I always knew that because I have a terrible voice so I suppose that is not really a dream. It was a wish. I wish I had a wonderful voice and could spend life singing. It feels good

 

[Metalhead]

I dreamed about becoming a professional lottery jackpot winner. Somehow, fate decided to deny me that because I don’t usually buy tickets.

 

[Rocco]

I dreamed about becoming a professional lottery jackpot winner. Somehow, fate decided to deny me that because I don’t usually buy tickets.

This is my problem Also!

 

[Suiseiseki]

I just want a trad life with a trad wife.

 

[GrownupGirl]

For years I wanted to be a real cartoonist or a children's book writer but that's never going to happen because the world is a too much of a mess. How can I handle the stress and demands of having an occupation like that when I can barely handle most normal adult responsibilities?

 

[Rectify]

For years I wanted to be a real cartoonist or a children's book writer but that's never going to happen because the world is a too much of a mess. How can I handle the stress and demands of having an occupation like that when I can barely handle most normal adult responsibilities?

I relate @GrownupGirl

 

[Daydreamer]

-Becoming a cat behaviourist.

In the past, I wanted to do this. However, I was deterred because in order to do so, I would have had to study an animal care course which involved all kinds of animals. It also required a high grade in science, which is something I didn't have. Either that or going directly into the psychology route, which I'll get more into in the next point.

- Psychologist.

When I expressed moderate interest in this, I was highly discouraged from pursuing it. The main response I received was laughter followed by "Wait, no, you're serious? You? Working with people?"

I can understand why I got this response. After all, I'm an interest-driven socially anxious introvert with a habit of wanting to fix problems immediately, rather than comforting others. I'm not heartless, I have been working on this, but I do still have to stop myself from rushing to solutions and reminding myself to be there to offer support / just listen. People encouraged me to follow my interests in IT and art instead.

- Writer.

From a young age, I've enjoyed reading stories and writing them. I was often praised for my way with words. As a teenager, I took part in a creative writing workshop. The teacher was impressed with a poem I wrote and offered to write a letter of recommendation for me to apply for a writing course at a University. She also encouraged me to enter a national slam poetry competition. Unfortunately, I was ill on the day of competition applications. I considered accepting her offer, however I already had an unconditional offer at a University studying digital art (there's also some coding involved). So I decided to stick with digital art since I wanted to do something visual.

Plus, I still get to apply my interests in writing and psychology within digital art. My main strengths are storytelling and improvising which is useful in my line of work. I also tend to get on better with techies and creative people in general. Hopefully I'll find work in this area, I'd be disappointed if I didn't.

 

[Rectify]

Psychologist.

When I expressed moderate interest in this, I was highly discouraged from pursuing it. The main response I received was laughter followed by "Wait, no, you're serious? You? Working with people?"

I can understand why I got this response. After all, I'm an interest-driven socially anxious introvert with a habit of wanting to fix problems immediately, rather than comforting others. I'm not heartless, I have been working on this, but I do still have to stop myself from rushing to solutions and reminding myself to be there to offer support / just listen. People encouraged me to follow my interests in IT and art instead.

This upsets me because psychology is not all counselling, therapy, private practice and working one-on-one with people.

However it sounds like you went on to do something you like - digital art with coding - so that's great.

 

[Joshua the Writer]

I used to want to be a game designer, but I didn't give up on it, but rather swapped that career path out with a similar one. I still want to do computer science/IT-related stuff.

 

[joe2006]

I have had many dreams in the past that I have given up on but here are a few. I tried to become a website designer after I graduated from high school. When I tried to go to college to get what was supposed to be a one year certificate, it seemed that everything that could go wrong went wrong here. I realized that the college was adding so many classes to my schedule that it would take many years to get this certificate. The main thing I struggled with was my algebra. I tried to pass one of these class my third semester and succeeded but I did not have time to do my other classes and failed 3 out of 4 of my classes. This was the last straw and I dropped out of that college. I tried trade schools instead and managed to get 2 computer repair related certificates but still do not have my website design certificate.

I had a dream about having a wife and a kid but it turns out that I am not interested in romance so I do not have much of an interest in forming a relationship. Without a wife, I can have no child.

When I was about 7 I got the idea of becoming a bug doctor when I grew up. As time when on, I lost interest in this and decided I wanted to become a detective instead.

Then I became so interested in computers I decided to try to get a job working with computer. For a couple of weeks, I succeeded in getting this job. I worked at the school fixing these Chromebooks. Then they shut down all the schools because of this Covid virus. I had just been fired for missing one too many days at the pizza parlor I once worked at so I just went without a job for a while. A few days later, I received a phone call from one of the ladies working at the pizza place and she told me that she quit her job. I asked why and she said the new boss had a hissy fit and threw a box at her. She asked him why he seemed so angry and he said something ugly to her and she got so angry she just quit and went home. He was loosing several employees because he would mistreat them in some way. One day I stopped by there and one of the employees told me that he and the manager were the only employees still working there. He had run everyone else off. I was wondering how long he would stay in business at the rate things were going. Then several months later, I was eating at the pizza place and one of the guys came out and asked me when I was coming back to work. I told him I was not going to work there again until they got rid of the new boss. He told me that the new boss did not get along with many of the employees and quit his job and he was the new manager. I am kind of friends with this guy so I told him I would wait until school started and see if I could get my old job back as a computer technician. When I called the school, they said they were understaffed and would not be able to hire me this semester and to try again next semester. I filled out an application for the pizza place and got that job back. Now I am starting to wonder if I will ever get my dream job. At least I am doing something I enjoy now.

If there is anything I have learned from all this, it is that it takes patience to win these goals. If I am patient enough I will succeed.

 

[watersprite]

Meteorologist,
EMT,
Bake for & have a cafè something lke @Rocco mentioned in the first post,
univrrsity professor,
backcountry forest ranger,
play jazz piano in a nice place,

that’s all that comes to mind at the moment.
I’ve done & survived several odd adventures though, so for that I am grateful.

Ricotta apple teacake, & a few toys.