Greeting Etiquette

[Desiree W]

So, I was wondering if anyone else has issues with greeting etiquette. For example, If I'm at work or church, etc. and see the same person a few times that day, I usually greet them the first time. After a few times, I usually just smile and walk by. I know it seems trivial, but some people might expect others to speak every time. I don’t feel it’s necessary to speak every time. I feel a bit awkward sometimes.

 

[Judge]

Good point. I sometimes wonder about such things myself. But I came to the conclusion that if I acknowledge them in a way they clearly notice, that I'm not required to do any more than that.

Sure, quite often I may simply have nothing to say to someone. So I don't. But I will make sure to physically acknowledge them. No more, no less.

 

[Gritches]

This is indeed a really tough one, socially. There's a lot of rules that change depending on varying factors, but I figure it goes something like this:

For a large gathering like the one you describe, I usually greet someone with the standard "Hey, how you doin?" Then if I see them after, it depends on how much time has passed, but if we've been sufficiently separated (which I would define as them being in a different room or, if outdoors, an appreciable distance away) for long enough (which I'd say changes with the X factor being how close you are to this person), then I do a little maneuver I like to call "Eye contact/smile/nod/break", which is pretty self-descriptive, but what the hey: it goes eye contact + smile, an acknowledging nod a split second later, then breaking eye contact before it gets creepy.

It's also a good way to make this person less likely to come over and talk to you unless they have something good to say.

 

[Chance]

My greeting etiquette sucks... My inner thoughts probably show on my face. Most of the time those thoughts are I dislike talking, because its just gonna be a calling card that I'm not what they consider normal.

I just smile, look down, I never try to make (or want to make) eye contact. I have no want to start up some pointless conversation over how hot it is out there, or how humid it is, or god forbid what someone is wearing, or any of that stuff... Thats for NT's and thats fine, but I'm not of that group.

Most of all I will try to avoid situations to where I have to be all words and fake smiles.

I guess I have been told I weird enough times that now I just avoid it all together.

 

[SusanLR]

Again this is something I never thought about through life until it was brought to my attention as one of the traits Aspies struggle with or need to learn to be accepted by the NT world.
I never felt the need to do the social greeting stuff. When people are all smiles with the Hi, how are you doing today? thing, I always felt awkward. Might say, OK, or nod and look down.
Now that it has been brought to my attention I go through the quick response of OK, smile, look down.
I never think to respond the way they think you should with a firm " Doing good. And yourself?"

 

[Progster]

This varies from culture to culture, but after the initial 'hello' I don't greet them again, I don't think it's necessary. After that, I tend to look away or down, sometimes I just give a smile and look down. I avoid this kind of ritualised social interaction because it seems false and when someone comes up to me all smiley, friendly, pleased to see you, hugs, I don't connect like that to people and it just feels awkward. Forced social interaction. It's makes me feel exposed (I have social anxiety) and want to avoid interaction with people.

 

[LucyPurrs]

Mine varies depending on who I'm greeting and the general circumstances. If it's someone I'm close to and care a lot about I might make eye contact, say "hey" and give them a hug then say "How are you?" (meaning it). Otherwise I'd just say Hi, give a quick smile with brief eye contact and keep walking. I generally avoid groups of people so usually don't have the issue.