Kristiina
New Member
Disclaimer: I have not been diagnosed and can't tell if I am aspie or NT.
Ever since I was quite young, I noticed body language and I could read it reasonably well. I remember being 7 and I was given a simple test with body language and facial expression pictures. It was easy to guess the right answers. However, I could not, for the life of me, fit in. There was always me and others. Their jokes were not funny, their logic just made no sense. Sometimes I just thought that I need to learn to think like others. I couldn't fit in with adults either. It was even a problem when taking tests in school. I just couldn't figure out what the teacher expected as an answer. It's like the thinking was just different.
I'm really into psychology and I observe other people a lot. I try to guess how other people would react to things. This is going very well: When I'm in the right mood, I love inspiring people. Sometimes I know exactly how to phrase myself to get the effect that I want. The effect can be short-lived, as in, I can sometimes create enthusiasm that will be gone by the next day. However, there is a moral issue with it. I am really scared of influencing people to something they don't want so I really hold back and give people plenty of opportunity to disagree. But I feel I actually have a potential to learn to be a leader.
But then again, I still don't feel much connection with almost anyone. I get along with so many people, I have a family whom I love and friends I really care about. Perhaps the only exception are my husband and kids with whom I feel a connection. I hug people easily but then I see how sometimes other people almost meld together mentally, or react to each others without much effort. More often than not, even a an adult, I feel like I'm just not part of the group. It's not that I'm not liked (I am reasonably liked), more like, I have embraced being the odd one out in nearly any group.
does this sound aspie or NT?
Ever since I was quite young, I noticed body language and I could read it reasonably well. I remember being 7 and I was given a simple test with body language and facial expression pictures. It was easy to guess the right answers. However, I could not, for the life of me, fit in. There was always me and others. Their jokes were not funny, their logic just made no sense. Sometimes I just thought that I need to learn to think like others. I couldn't fit in with adults either. It was even a problem when taking tests in school. I just couldn't figure out what the teacher expected as an answer. It's like the thinking was just different.
I'm really into psychology and I observe other people a lot. I try to guess how other people would react to things. This is going very well: When I'm in the right mood, I love inspiring people. Sometimes I know exactly how to phrase myself to get the effect that I want. The effect can be short-lived, as in, I can sometimes create enthusiasm that will be gone by the next day. However, there is a moral issue with it. I am really scared of influencing people to something they don't want so I really hold back and give people plenty of opportunity to disagree. But I feel I actually have a potential to learn to be a leader.
But then again, I still don't feel much connection with almost anyone. I get along with so many people, I have a family whom I love and friends I really care about. Perhaps the only exception are my husband and kids with whom I feel a connection. I hug people easily but then I see how sometimes other people almost meld together mentally, or react to each others without much effort. More often than not, even a an adult, I feel like I'm just not part of the group. It's not that I'm not liked (I am reasonably liked), more like, I have embraced being the odd one out in nearly any group.
does this sound aspie or NT?