I understand what you are saying and I reason this with myself. It sometimes frightens me, that i could be sacrificing my own personal space. I spend a majority of time on my own. I like having my own time. I think having someone could be personally destructive to me.
That's why I often doubt in pursuing such a relationship. What you also have to remember though is, I am an individual that still hasn't had a relationship of that intimate level. As much as it is often a desire to have, I worry over the following factors.
- Having possibly a 2-face persona
- Not being able to cater for the other partners needs
- Often go missing for a few days
- Forgetting things that are important to the partner.
- Trying to are about something they care about.
The 2-face persona I refer too is that I'll probably be warm, and friendly around them on our own. But cold and aloof to them in public. I don't know. Mainly, probably because I factor out the emotions in this example. Chances are I will be though. It's not often I like being touched by people. In fact I get really agitated and angry if I've been touched without consent. I really don't like it. I think hugs in public will make me embarrassed.
On another note, there is a beautiful blonde lass I like. There is no infatuation, probably because we are able to have regular online conversations which keeps me at bay so to speak. She's a great character, and her behaviour is unpredictable, which is intriguing.
I think I am only a friend to her, we haven't really done anything together, and she's just a friend from work. We agreed upon to meet up and have coffee after the exams. There are a few issues I think regarding with this relationship.
First off, I don't want the friendship established to be ruined. It might surprise her perhaps, but I talk to her the most, and most of the conversations are through the internet. I am like I said before, very quiet, and I keep to myself. The most talking I ever do is in class relating to study material.
I often think I bore her to death. Like last night I was talking about my genetics, because I couldn't think anything else better to talk about. I held back a lot of information I wanted to share, but I did share some of the information. I also didn't want it to sound like, "oh yeah my dna is so awesome"
The often things previous is that I helped her out in an assignment which she apparently claims she got a high distinction, whether or not that's from my suggestions and input is another matter. Though I'm pleased with the result she obtained.
The other thing is I like her a lot mainly because she's fun, unpredictable at times, and I am able to talk to her seriously about certain things. The other issue though is I wish to quit work for personal reasons, but i like seeing her, and I don't want to ruin the friendship. I think I will resign, because I can't see the friendship progressing to something serious in less then a year, despite the fact I would like it to. Also the fact I think It wouldn't last more then a month, because of the way that I am.
