Trellekrona
New Member
Hi all,
I am a young woman (early 30s) in the process of getting a formal diagnosis of AS.
It was not easy to get to being assessed, because it turns out I can compensate well for the AS (which probably is also not too severe) and over the years I managed to develop good social skills, which make me virtually indistinguishable from NTs, especially to the eyes of people who do not know me well (and when I am not too stressed).
Part of the assessment consists in talking to a family member. I decided to pick my sister, who, upon being asked if she was willing to do so, replied in a sort of hurtful way, saying that "It's OK, but why on earth do I want to know, if then I have to live with AS?" (I do consider my sister a clever/open minded person in general, but this particular answer baffled me).
Over the last two-three years I also mentioned the topic a few times with my parents, and I found a lot of resistence, of the kind: "it can't be", "don't rush to conclusions" and they really seemed something between scared and well... I would say almost ashamed that it would be the case.
Needless to say this also hurt a lot.
Similarly, when I mentioned this to an old boyfriend, he almost freaked out, like if I had said I was some kind of monster (and he was the one who saw the meltdowns, the stress in meeting new people, the black and white thinking, the problem with eye contact, some sporadic monologues which were inappropriate in public... so if only he had read some literature, he would have made an easy one-to-one correspondence...).
Having AS does not pose me any problem. I simply want to know. If they confirm it, all I can say is that I am proud of myself, seeing how much I achieved compensating for the deficits I had and trying to make an asset of the differences. I am intellectually skilled, perform well at work (especially if my boss lets me be my way...), I am a good person and I know that many people in a way or another appreciates me, but it damn hurts that it seems that if I really have AS, this should be a problem for them, my family!!!
Why is that?
Is it just some sort of guilt, of the kind: how come we did not know? If we had known we could have helped or treated her differently?
When is it going to go away? How can I help them cope with this (yeah, sound ridicolous, I should be the distressed one, but they seem to be in trouble with this, but of course I know they don't mean bad).
Does anyone has some experience with this?
Thanks in advance!
I am a young woman (early 30s) in the process of getting a formal diagnosis of AS.
It was not easy to get to being assessed, because it turns out I can compensate well for the AS (which probably is also not too severe) and over the years I managed to develop good social skills, which make me virtually indistinguishable from NTs, especially to the eyes of people who do not know me well (and when I am not too stressed).
Part of the assessment consists in talking to a family member. I decided to pick my sister, who, upon being asked if she was willing to do so, replied in a sort of hurtful way, saying that "It's OK, but why on earth do I want to know, if then I have to live with AS?" (I do consider my sister a clever/open minded person in general, but this particular answer baffled me).
Over the last two-three years I also mentioned the topic a few times with my parents, and I found a lot of resistence, of the kind: "it can't be", "don't rush to conclusions" and they really seemed something between scared and well... I would say almost ashamed that it would be the case.
Needless to say this also hurt a lot.
Similarly, when I mentioned this to an old boyfriend, he almost freaked out, like if I had said I was some kind of monster (and he was the one who saw the meltdowns, the stress in meeting new people, the black and white thinking, the problem with eye contact, some sporadic monologues which were inappropriate in public... so if only he had read some literature, he would have made an easy one-to-one correspondence...).
Having AS does not pose me any problem. I simply want to know. If they confirm it, all I can say is that I am proud of myself, seeing how much I achieved compensating for the deficits I had and trying to make an asset of the differences. I am intellectually skilled, perform well at work (especially if my boss lets me be my way...), I am a good person and I know that many people in a way or another appreciates me, but it damn hurts that it seems that if I really have AS, this should be a problem for them, my family!!!
Why is that?
Is it just some sort of guilt, of the kind: how come we did not know? If we had known we could have helped or treated her differently?
When is it going to go away? How can I help them cope with this (yeah, sound ridicolous, I should be the distressed one, but they seem to be in trouble with this, but of course I know they don't mean bad).
Does anyone has some experience with this?
Thanks in advance!
