Friendship

[iamanders]

Many people with ASD talk about having problems with friendships. They often don't know with whom they should be friends. Neither do they seem to know how intimate (in a non-sexual way) they could be with somebody. Would that nice person even what to be their friend and then what kinnd of friend would that person be they may wonder. Many people with ASD can be very intellectual and even be able to write doctoral dissertations about friendship but still have problems with friendship. What should these people do? How can they learn the skills they need? How can neurotypical people help these intellectual people with ASD?

 

[Sander]

wow... Those are some tough questions to answer, but if you've got AS yourself, why can't you answer them partially?

 

[Judge]

Many people with ASD can be very intellectual and even be able to write doctoral dissertations about friendship but still have problems with friendship. What should these people do? How can they learn the skills they need? How can neurotypical people help these intellectual people with ASD?

Sounds like you're attempting to describe what constitutes ASD as a neurological issue as opposed to something relative to behavior or attitude. A critical aspect of what Neurotypicals should understand about us first and foremost IMO.

Which also translates into the reality that there are things each of us might be able to improve upon in our lives to varying degrees, and other things that are neurologically impossible to overcome no matter how self-aware we may be about them.

In essence our neurology is not simple to control, nor easy to understand.

 

[Loomis]

We aspies are highly variable. Our individual strengths and weaknesses are unique so an effective strategy for one will not work for another. What satisfies our need and desire for human contact differs among us. Some aspies could make friends but choose not to. Others suffer because they want friends and repeatedly fail in their efforts.

This forum offers an opportunity for us to ask each other how stuff works for each other but to get good feedback it is best to be as specific as possible. The members of this community are very supportive and willing to give their perspectives on any issue.

Individual therapy is often very effective.

I have learned much just from reading posts here of aspies who describe their problems, frustrations, solutions and strategies for understanding and coping with the NT world.

 

[iamanders]

Peace!
Do you have to ask people about your relationship since you have problems with understanding it other ways?

 

[Kari Suttle]

I'm not sure if you mean relationship as in romantically or in all forms, but i know i find myself at a loss when it comes to understanding where i stand with pretty much anyone - coworkers, classmates, roommates when i was at my old school, etc. I don't ask anyone about it though cause i think it would look weird for me to ask, people aren't supposed to need to ask about that sort of thing. Why the questions? It seems random.

 

[iamanders]

IWhy the questions? It seems random.

random?