I'm 28. I have a 3 year old daughter... yet, I'm not an adult. I still feel like I'm flopping around, depending on people.
Growing up I always had issues with social interactions, but over time I would learn what people liked and what people didn't like. I would manipulate things to benefit myself. I always saw it as other people were born with an inherent understanding of social interactions... but without a ton of room for improvement, while I was born without an inherent understanding... forcing me to learn it like a subject in school. This left me with the ability to be leagues ahead of my peers when it came to learned social skills.
This hit the sweet spot several times, and it always followed a pattern. Unpopular observer at first, then blossomed into a popular social butterfly that was seen as a bit peculiar. Being a strong willed individual, that always expresses my beliefs I was always either loved, or hated, very seldom was there an in-between.
This pattern followed through my whole childhood, and even a little bit into adulthood. I had friends, I had girlfriends, I was even engaged once. People would come to me years later telling me that they were madly in love with me for all of highschool.
This somewhat popular-strong willed self lasted until I was about 24. I had a huge falling out with my friend group at the time (over a couple girls), and realized that I didn't know how to make new friends as an adult. I realized that my whole life I had been focusing 100% on social interactions, I realized that I was the polar opposite of most people; most people spent all their energy on their responsibilities (school, work, etc) while having their social interactions come naturally at almost no energy cost... I was spending all my energy on social interactions, and none on my responsibilities because they came so naturally to me.
Things are different now though. It's been eight years since I've formed a new friendship. Relationships are exhausting still, and I don't have the energy to use on it anymore. I have a child, and responsibilities that I can't just skate by spending nothing on. I'm not sure where to go from here. I'm stuck in what seems like depression, and quite honestly I wouldn't even be here writing this if I didn't feel like offing myself would be unfair to my daughter.
[tl:dr] How the **** do you make friends as an adult? [tl:dr]
Growing up I always had issues with social interactions, but over time I would learn what people liked and what people didn't like. I would manipulate things to benefit myself. I always saw it as other people were born with an inherent understanding of social interactions... but without a ton of room for improvement, while I was born without an inherent understanding... forcing me to learn it like a subject in school. This left me with the ability to be leagues ahead of my peers when it came to learned social skills.
This hit the sweet spot several times, and it always followed a pattern. Unpopular observer at first, then blossomed into a popular social butterfly that was seen as a bit peculiar. Being a strong willed individual, that always expresses my beliefs I was always either loved, or hated, very seldom was there an in-between.
This pattern followed through my whole childhood, and even a little bit into adulthood. I had friends, I had girlfriends, I was even engaged once. People would come to me years later telling me that they were madly in love with me for all of highschool.
This somewhat popular-strong willed self lasted until I was about 24. I had a huge falling out with my friend group at the time (over a couple girls), and realized that I didn't know how to make new friends as an adult. I realized that my whole life I had been focusing 100% on social interactions, I realized that I was the polar opposite of most people; most people spent all their energy on their responsibilities (school, work, etc) while having their social interactions come naturally at almost no energy cost... I was spending all my energy on social interactions, and none on my responsibilities because they came so naturally to me.
Things are different now though. It's been eight years since I've formed a new friendship. Relationships are exhausting still, and I don't have the energy to use on it anymore. I have a child, and responsibilities that I can't just skate by spending nothing on. I'm not sure where to go from here. I'm stuck in what seems like depression, and quite honestly I wouldn't even be here writing this if I didn't feel like offing myself would be unfair to my daughter.
[tl:dr] How the **** do you make friends as an adult? [tl:dr]
