For those diagnosed late

[Ruby_Aspergic]

My dad is 55 and the possibility was just now brought to his attention. God only knows how old he'll be when I convince him to get tested.

 

[Chris]

Did you mention to it, Ruby?

 

[Ruby_Aspergic]

I mentioned it to my mom, who got really annoyed with me but I am pretty sure she told him. I want to talk to him about it but I think I need to wait until things settle down about my diagnosis, my parents are still too upset to even learn what autism actually is.

 

[Ana54]

My mom thought I was different things at different times:


hyper
schizophrenic
autistic
Aspie
Tourette's
personality disordered
spoiled
brainwashed by my father
rude
immature
not so gifted after all
not so smart after all


Me? I thought I was insane once, I thought I was crazy, I thought I was clinically and situationally depressed and I was. I thought once that I might be brain damaged. Most of the time I just thought I was wierd and all alone.

 

[tree]

OP: 'I was wondering what you thought was wrong with you, why you thought you were "different" and didn't fit in.'

I don't remember thinking anything was "wrong" with me.
I supposed people were not all like me, or all like each other,
for that matter. By age 12, when we left the small school,
and went to the big school, I could see that not all people
were alike and that some characteristics were valued more
than others.

Teachers valued quiet studious children who could also
participate & co-operate within the group. The other kids
valued lively noisy kids who knew song lyrics & dance moves;
they awarded student council positions to kids who were
popular, or by default, to a 'smart' kid.

I didn't see myself as not fitting in. The biggest deal at
school for me was teachers wanting me to participate more
in discussions.

 

[Progster]

When I was small, my mum died and I was sent to live with my grandparents for a while. I later went back to my dad. I had some behavioural issues, and they just said that it was due to the change, or because my grandparents had spoilt me, or because I lost my mum. When I went to the middle school, I had quite a few problems and the teachers told my parents that I was a slow learner and should be in a slow learner's class or even in a special school. My dad, however, wouldn't accept this, and wouldn't allow the school to move me, but arranged for me to have private tuition to catch up on schoolwork. I went to this teacher but just shut down and didn't learn anything, and she told my parents she thought I was autistic. My parents took me to the GP (early 80s) to see if I might have autism, but because I answered his questions and made some eye contact, the doctor didn't think that I had it. Also, my dad didn't believe that because I was intelligent, and he didn't think that autistic people could be intelligent. When I was in my teens, people just thought I was a particularly moody, grumpy teen.

 

[Jimbo]

I figured out I was an aspie at age 44 as well. I just thought I was different because I was born 6 weeks early and that my mom and sister babied me.

By the way. I just round it off to 3.1415927.

 

[clg114]

I first found out about Asperger's when I was 60 years old. After a lot of research, I went and got got diagnosed at age 62. It seems strange now, but for most of my life I thought that everybody else was weird and that I was OK. Imagine my surprise when I found out that I am the weird one. The really weird thing is that AS turned out to be my superpower.

 

[Aspieistj]

I was in my 60s when diagnosed and am now 71. Am I the oldest? I was severely abused emotionally by my mother who constantly told me I was bad, I was selfish, I didn't care about other people, I was always negative on purpose, I didn't fit in, I was unpopular and had very few friends and I WAS FAT. OMG!!!! That was the worst sin anyone could commit--being fat. I was absolutely miserable prior to learning I was an Aspie, and only slightly more calm now that I know I really was different. The only thing I did that satisfied my mother was that I was an excellent student. However, the other kids decided I had too many faults with being weird, smart, a loner, fat, and never could figure out how to fit in. If I had been diagnosed as a child I am certain my mother would have used her influence to keep the diagnosis a secret--SHE was a TEACHER and couldn't possibly have imperfect children. If I could have had a supportive family who accepted that I was neurologically different, and allowed to have therapy, I am positively certain my life would have been less painful. I don't recall a day, any time in my life, that I didn't wish I had never been born. I have also wished I could kill myself, but I have always had a child or pet that I didn't want to leave behind to be cared for by someone else. I fully believe my entire life was ruined by being on the spectrum without any support from anyone, until I was in my 60s.

 

[Spiller]

I'll see your 33 and raise you 11. Any advances on 44?

48! I got my diagnosis yesterday, though I self-diagnosed about 18 months ago, after which a lot of stuff finally started making sense.

Bruce, as a slightly older Aspie like myself (not that 33 is old, but it is significantly older than a lot of the embryos on this forum) do you feel that your traits have become less severe over time? Do you get along better with people now than you did 5, 10 or 15 years ago? If you have other issues (OCD, ADD, sensory issues etc) have these diminished with time?

I've found it has become slightly easier to learn coping mechanisms as I've gotten older and especially since I started relating my issues to ASD and learning about how others on the Spectrum cope with stuff.
The anxiety has become easier (though not easy, by any means) to deal with now I recognize it, though the depression is up and down and getting gradually worse over time - I know that's due to loneliness and there's apparently nothing I can do about that.
I've managed to make a couple of friends for the first time, though they're a little outside the norm themselves - nowhere near my end of the bell curve though, we just kind of meet in the middle.

For as long as I can remember, maybe 5-6 years-old, I know I've been different, didn't fit in at all - they all knew it too, I think, all those kids that stayed away from me.. right up to college people would sit away from me in the classroom - I never knew why.
Even then my self-confidence had really taken a pounding..
I thought I was ugly, deformed, stinky, weird.. a gruesome mutant.. knew I was painfully - agonizingly - shy.. didn't know what to do about it.
Never had any help at all.
I can still see the self-image I had of myself then - a twisted, foul, pallid thing, unable to talk or think, stupid.. well, you get the picture.
Years of reading self-help books, observing other people and learning to imitate their grooming habits, dress and speech, gradually changed me - I actually like myself now, I know better than to spend time criticizing myself and, more wisely, look for the positive things.

There's a lot I still don't know and still can't do, but I've only known how to cope with Aspergers for a short time and I'm still young, there's still time to learn.

By the way. I just round it off to 3.1415927.

Ps: I stop at 3.141592654

 

[clg114]

I figured out I was an aspie at age 44 as well. I just thought I was different because I was born 6 weeks early and that my mom and sister babied me.

By the way. I just round it off to 3.1415927.

Easy as pi.