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Fired?

Discussion in 'Education and Employment' started by Fino, Apr 17, 2021.

  1. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    I've been told I may be fired as a therapist, but the reason is quite curious in my opinion.

    I wrote in a report for a student that I was having difficult controlling a student's wild behavior. My supervisor responded to my report by suggesting that I simply stop trying to control the student and "let them do what they want."

    Weeks later, my supervisor observed a session of mine in which I continued to follow this advice. Afterward, she told me that I had no control over that session and that I let the child do whatever they wanted. Therefore, she's going to consult with her colleagues on whether I should be fired.

    I was too stunned to respond real-time, which I'm not good at anyway, so I responded in a report in which I explained that I was following directions I received, in writing, from her weeks prior. I haven't yet received an answer to this report.

    Is there something I'm missing?
     
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  2. Bolletje

    Bolletje Overly complicated potato V.I.P Member

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    I’m baffled, non-sarcastically. I hope it works out.
     
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  3. selena

    selena Well-Known Member

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    I am sorry you're in this position.

    When I first read your post I agreed with the general idea that you shouldn't try to control anyone's behavior, but then the person who gave you that advice to use it as a reason to fire you. I find that most people just don't remember conversations that far back. Was it just verbal or (hopefully) documented in some way?

    It's hard to suggest what to do next without knowing more about your relationship with your supervisor. Hope it all works out.
     
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  4. unperson

    unperson Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    She don't like you Fino, if her let em do what they want statement is in writing, you can appeal any dismissal, but she's gonna dislike you even more and you're still gonna have to work for her.

    I'd get your CV ready and start looking for someone who appreciates your many talents, if you stay, it may be just more headgames and unpleasantness.
     
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  5. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    So sorry to hear this. Next time somebody tells you to let them do whatever, then pop out a FYI memo for your boss and HR saying that you were made aware of a policy change re: student behavior protocol and you have taken these steps (1,2,3) to follow this recommendation verbally from supervisor on this date, at this time per her discussion. That way you are documenting her remark especially if she is trying to get rid of you. These are trying times, maybe she is trying to get a friend in your position. Then if the person flìp flops and whatever, you already documented this. Good luck, Fino. l think it might be wise to shop around for a new position.
     
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2021
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  6. Misery

    Misery Photo-Negative V.I.P Member

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    In all honesty I would have just blurted out at them something like "You useless doofus, YOU told me to do what I just did! Are you a COMPLETE idiot, or did you only make it halfway?"

    But then I'm not very good at tactfully handling stuff like this. Really not meant for the workplace.

    It occurs to me that this supervisor of yours either A: isnt very bright, B: is one of THOSE types of leaders, the ones who refuse to even REMEMBER when they said something bloody stupid, because God forbid that they look like they might be somehow "below" the lowly workers under them, or C: both. Just the worst type of person to deal with in a job or on a team of any sort. It comes as no surprise to me that you havent gotten a response to the little memo you threw at them. However, the fact that you got those directions IN WRITING is very important. Which might be part of the reason you havent gotten a response, because Captain Braincells basically went "oh crap, they have that in writing, I cant just pretend I didnt say it, I dont know what to do so I'm just going to ignore the message".

    Pretty freaking stupid. But not exactly uncommon in the workplace, eh?
     
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  7. Streetwise

    Streetwise Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    They will never accept you.

    remember she will protect her back, it will be your word against hers.

    start taping what she says!, you need proof keep your mobile phone as close to her as you covertly can ,keep it charged,if you can type out what you record after each working day(in case you can't find your mobile) purposely omitting !!!!anyone!!!! who isn't aggressive.

    you need to contact a disability law solicitor, they(psychotherapists ) are using you!
    they wouldn't think they could say what they did to a neurotypical .
     
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  8. Thinx

    Thinx Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    You seem to have taken what she said too literally, and going from over control to lack of control because you thought somebody told you to won't be a good defence.

    Because of some of the harsh comments you have made to others here, without any other attempts to help except occasionally recommending religion, I was surprised to hear you were so far into your training, and my thought was, perhaps it's private and fee paying? Or a faith based specific training. Because some trainings where you pay fees to them, especially private trainings, often keep you longer, for obvious reasons I guess. Or give you more leeway before taking action.

    I did not say this to you, because you were so harsh and dismissive to my comments prior in that conversations that I didn't want to interact with you further.

    I am a well qualified therapist and trainer of therapists. But whatever type of training it is, at the stage you're at, they would expect you to ask for more guidance if you felt that you had been asked to do something that was leading to uncontrolled sessions. The skill in working with children and young people is partly about how to engage them without being controlling, balanced with thinking about safety and progress.

    You have maybe taken too much of a black and white interpretation of what was said. Recall that I mentioned to you a friend in therapy training who described a way he sometimes noticed himself acting as, Inflatable Jesus?

    You didn't say whether you understood that comment of mine, which was helpfully intended, but told me all the things you thought about me and my posts none of which were complimentary.

    However that friend had massive potential and was in many ways excellent at his work. He was good at self analysis and self awareness, which is an important central skill. But I think he was talking about that same dilemma of how to effectively manage a session without either being an Inflatable Jesus in his words, and taking control, or letting go of session management, which risks wasting the clients time and money.

    I think you could rescue this by thinking about and reading up on this issue of managing sessions fruitfully and effectively, which is indeed challenging and more so with children and young people, especially if a parent or guardian is not also present, though that poses other challenges. I don't know your modality, but there's some great stuff out there to read on this.

    And rather than complaining, I suggest recovering the situation with your supervisor. How is your relationship with her normally? What can you build on? I would review how you have previously communicated with her too, and take advice about how you come over from a colleague or colleagues you trust.

    Pre qualification, it's very unlikely that your point about what you see as conflicting advice will be helpful, because you will be asked why you didn't raise that when you saw the results in the room of your interpretation of what she meant. It's your therapy session to manage, not hers, she supervises you on the basis of what you tell her and has now raised the problem. You would also likely be directed to reading that explores this issue in depth, which is probably already on your reading suggestions.

    I hope this is helpful, and I wish you well in fulfilling your potential in this work, and in a training in which you have to develop a lot of self critique, and sometimes a get a certain amount of ego knocks. Read up on that area too, there's great stuff on this for you, with clear guidance.
     
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2021
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  9. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    Assuming your supervisor used these exact words, that's not very helpful or professional on her part, especially if that's not exactly what she intended you to do. Telling you to give them some leeway, make some concessions or compromises with them, followed by examples and practical ways of doing so would be much more useful and productive. With vague instructions/advice like this, it's better to ask for clarification.

    People can be very poor communicators at times, even those whose job it is to communicate well.
     
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  10. SDRSpark

    SDRSpark Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Either that, or the supervisor in question already didn't like Fino, and deliberately gave them bad advice as a set up.

    Or it was sarcastic. "Why don't you just let them do what they want then?"

    Or she just didn't expect you to follow her instructions to the letter. (I'm always amazed when people do this - they give instruction, but expect us not to follow those instructions exactly. Which is a very bad idea when dealing with autistic people.)

    We can only speculate - and we do not know what her exact words were.

    However, in general it's a good idea to get everything in writing - it has the potential to save your butt later. (A former supervisor of mine would do this - we would have a verbal discussion and then he would say "email me so it's in writing" and we would do the whole thing over. This was to have it documented.)
     
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  11. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    We are very honored to have you here. No wonder your suggestions are so well expained.

    Sometimes l do expect some of us a tab off, as l discover with myself. And our remarks do zing and hurt people. But reading your posts helped with me being more pliable in my thinking and less of an inflatable clown that causes people to punch me with my spin or comments. lol. But l love the inflatable Jesus comment. l need to use this in a storyline. My last boss was really good at helping but staying detached. l miss her and l ended up leaving because she left.
     
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2021
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  12. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    Think @Fino means well and l noticed Fino asks questions of someone if the post is hard to understand. We are in your corner Fino.
     
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  13. Streetwise

    Streetwise Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Remember @Fino I thought I had friends in this forum but they've since ostracised me, so remember somebody could say they support you and next minute stab you in the back it's the same in any place there is the potential for cliques
     
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  14. ForestGumpett

    ForestGumpett Active Member

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    @Fino

    Hi; I’m very sorry that happened to you. I honestly wouldn’t want to work for anyone that acts like that it would keep me a wreck. It would have confused me too so I get it.

    If your where you can, I’d look for another job or could you work out of your home? Many therapist it seems are offering on line services with the covid and all - there are those web sites that allow you to talk to each other. Could that work for you?

    Just trying to think outside the box, wish you the best, God bless ((hug))
     
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  15. GadAbout

    GadAbout Well-Known Member

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    In my experience, people seldom get fired for one interaction (unless it is extreme, like waving a gun around in the workplace). People usually get fired because of a number of observations that they are marginal, and then, the straw that breaks the camel's back.

    So Fino if you want to get more insight into this situation, don't only look at the conflicting instructions regarding this one client. Look at your relationships with supervisors and colleagues, as well as your own attitude. I'm not criticizing you or condemning you, but suggesting there may be more to this story.
     
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  16. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    Rather than responding to my report, a meeting has been scheduled for Thursday. I have no idea what the exact purpose of the meeting is.
     
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  17. unperson

    unperson Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    ohh kay. If you're in the union talk to the rep. Take your paperwork to meeting.
     
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  18. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    I've decided to file a complaint with the President of the Board of Education.
     
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  19. unperson

    unperson Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Have they had the meeting yet? It's Thurs here, so I'm guessing Wed there. I wait for that, could be nuthin'...might be good to record for sound on your phone, if you can do it just before walking in and it's in your top pocket or something?
     
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  20. Alexej

    Alexej Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Take a deep breath before the meeting and ask for the Spirit of wisdom to guide you.
     
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