Feeling beat up and ugly

[Gerald Wilgus]

This year has been a hard one for my health. Food poisoning, 2x UTI, Prostate surgery with complications, COVID, and most recently a large stent in the subclavian artery for a Thoracic Outlet issue. The last required an incision through muscle of my upper arm. while it is nice getting a pulse back in my right arm, from shoulder to wrist it looks like one massive bruise. I am just feeling a little off and wonder if it's just going to be a series of breakdowns until I die. Getting old ain't for sissies.

I'd like to feel like I did this morning, cycling; content moving through the landscape, strong.

 

[All-Rounder]

Old age gets us eventually. Follows us with the scythe. Whatever it gets it's gonna get that stinkin' blade into lol.

It is gonna be a series of breakdowns til we die, in one way or another. Some things can be made better, some we have to work our life around.

You're at an advanced stage of age and getting through some events where it feels like there's no going back anymore. The things you like you question if you'll be able to do again. And to see them go is a sad thought, because you're not ready to let go. You want to continue enjoying life.

The way your arm is looking currently concerns you. Recent bruises lessen in time, but I don't know if that's what truly bothers you but rather the thought of more illness, getting worse.

I hope you feel better soon and get back on that bike to feel life like before again.

I think of riding the bike ever so often, I haven't done it since childhood. It truly is an experience and helpful to joints and transport.

 

[Jordy]

I also feel upbeat and ugly but not because I am old.

 

[All-Rounder]

Oh, your title says you're struggling with feeling ugly. People who have been more often praised for their looks compared to their inner value have a harder time with growing old and losing their looks.

Don't despair, you and others can love the man that you are besides the looks. Like you are loved here and nobody knew your looks.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Oh, your title says you're struggling with feeling ugly. People who have been more often praised for their looks compared to their inner value have a harder time with growing old and losing their looks.

Don't despair, you and others can love the man that you are besides the looks. Like you are loved here and nobody knew your looks.

You are right. There are so many here that I value and think they are handsom/beautiful from their writings. Sometimes they make me feel useful. Damn, but I'd feel good meeting some IRL, one that I'd like to be his wingman, just to see him in a relationship.

 

[Thinx]

I know what you mean, with my recent surgery and subsequent treatments, I was brought up against facing illness and health being threatened. I think working to accept, yes we are older and health issues and interventions may come more often, but we are still important to others in our lives and as a mentor, it's not a downhill run, though it can seem a struggle.

You are looking after your health that's good, and your arm will recover it's normal colour after a while. I had bad bruises from them taking blood for tests and insertion and removal of canulas which some staff struggled to do well, but all gone now. Hope you feel better soon. You likely have many years ahead, with ups and downs as always.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I also feel upbeat and ugly but not because I am old.

Reading you and others here I find so much that makes you and them worthwhile. I have always valued character more than looks and perhaps need to feel that about myself.

 

[1ForAll]

This year has been a hard one for my health. Food poisoning, 2x UTI, Prostate surgery with complications, and most recently a large stent in the subclavian artery for a Thoracic Outlet issue. The last required an incision through muscle of my upper arm. while it is nice getting a pulse back in my right arm, from shoulder to wrist it looks like one massive bruise. I am just feeling a little off and wonder if it's just going to be a series of breakdowns until I die. Getting old ain't for sissies.

Sounds like a very difficult year for you for sure Gerald, so I am wishing you the best for you the rest of the year. and after. Getting older with more ailments is not too uncommon, but yea, they can be really bothersome, if not cause much stress, immobility and pain! Although this last year has been good to me, the few years prior to that were not, as everything happened suddenly in succession.

It all started with a few hernias which required the two surgeries, umbilical and inguinal. I also had skin cancer removal at the corner of my eye that required plastic surgery reconstruction after. I also had a painful frozen shoulder sandwiched in-between those mentioned issues that wouldn't budge for many months, and I had to use my left arm and hand for almost everything, until I had enough couple months of painful physical therapy there.

And about a year and a half ago I had a few signs and symptoms of sepsis from a misdiagnosed tooth infection that caused my neck, face and jaw to blow up in size, from a spreading infection. Just prior to that the dentist told me it was some TMJ and bruxism. Luckily I got another opinion and they took extra x-rays after I said I felt some squishing around feeling in my entire left side of my mouth, and then that tooth removed requiring antibiotics, etc

Prior to those more recent years I also had neck pain and limited mobility issues there before resolving that, and I had disk herniation around L4/L5-S1 from what I remembered longer ago in my twenties. As painful and limiting as many of the things I talked about were, I think I must have ice water in my veins, as I still rarely worried, only worrying about how family would be if something happened. Anyway, I guess I don't have frozen blood because:

What complicates things for me is that I have a thrombocytopenia blood disorder as my platelet counts are really low, causing excessive bruising and bleeding, and especially during and after surgeries. Although we figured out the cause of that condition, through trial and error, still the platelet levels are on the very low end of the acceptable range, but nowhere as bad as before. I still must be more vigilant there.

So, I guess with older age comes more physical health issues, yes, so our attitude, strength, energy and adversity skills and any support from others will get us through those. It helps too if we feel and/or look young. That keeps me feeling in ways I am likely more invincible than I am. I know you keep active Gerald so hopefully that will help you some for the future. I try to be pretty healthy and active, other than stated.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Sounds like a very difficult year for you for sure Gerald, so I am wishing you the best for you the rest of the year. and after. Getting older with more ailments is not too uncommon, but yea, they can be really bothersome, if not cause much stress, immobility and pain! Although this last year has been good to me, the few years prior to that were not, as everything happened suddenly in succession.

It all started with a few hernias which required the two surgeries, umbilical and inguinal. I also had skin cancer removal at the corner of my eye that required plastic surgery reconstruction after. I also had a painful frozen shoulder sandwiched in-between those mentioned issues that wouldn't budge for many months, and I had to use my left arm and hand for almost everything, until I had enough couple months of painful physical therapy there.

And about a year and a half ago I had a few signs and symptoms of sepsis from a misdiagnosed tooth infection that caused my neck, face and jaw to blow up in size, from a spreading infection. Just prior to that the dentist told me it was some TMJ and bruxism. Luckily I got another opinion and they took extra x-rays after I said I felt some squishing around feeling in my entire left side of my mouth, and then that tooth removed requiring antibiotics, etc

Prior to those more recent years I also had neck pain and limited mobility issues there before resolving that, and I had disk herniation around L4/L5-S1 from what I remembered longer ago in my twenties. As painful and limiting as many of the things I talked about were, I think I must have ice water in my veins, as I still rarely worried, only worrying about how family would be if something happened. Anyway, I guess I don't have frozen blood because:

What complicates things for me is that I have a thrombocytopenia blood disorder as my platelet counts are really low, causing excessive bruising and bleeding, and especially during and after surgeries. Although we figured out the cause of that condition, through trial and error, still the platelet levels are on the very low end of the acceptable range, but nowhere as bad as before. I still must be more vigilant there.

So, I guess with older age comes more physical health issues, yes, so our attitude, strength, energy and adversity skills and any support from others will get us through those. It helps too if we feel and/or look young. That keeps me feeling in ways I am likely more invincible than I am. I know you keep active Gerald so hopefully that will help you some for the future. I try to be pretty healthy and active, other than stated.

Thank you very much.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

It truly is an experience

I enjoy moving through the landscape at human scale. It makes me feel like part of the environment.

 

[LadyS]

Imo, the most beautiful people are the ones that have scars, who've let time and experience age them, the ones who wear their life struggles on their sleeve and not hide them. To see someone who has really lived..that's something that's definitely not ugly. Life isn't pretty and perfect, so why should we be..?

Truck onward

 

[Metalhead]

Hell, we could both knock back some buffalo wings and celebrate surviving tons of BS in our lives. Because surviving BS is better than the alternative.

I would toast to improving your conditions, but I would have to find an appropriate nonalcoholic drink first.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Hell, we could both knock back some buffalo wings and celebrate surviving tons of BS in our lives. Because surviving BS is better than the alternative.

I would toast to improving your conditions, but I would have to find an appropriate nonalcoholic drink first.

Thank you. I'll toast you with some Sangrita:
5 -1/2 oz Tomato juice
5 oz Orange juice
1 oz fresh squeezed lime juice
Tabasco to taste
pinch salt

It is refreshing by itself - na zdrowie!

 

[Tom]

Yes, such is the landscape of age. I wanted to mention the extensive bruising after that procedure is very normal. I had the same. Over the years I have had to accept many limitations. I just try not to dwell on what I have lost and focus instead on what I can still do.

 

[SusanLR]

Losing what we've loved in living is a sad thing to get through.
I wasn't all that old when I had to lose half of my liver to cancer. 52.
It was a long climb back and a stay in rehab because they cut too many nerves
and I had to learn to walk again.

It felt good when people said they had never met anyone that had been a survivor
from the rare type I had for over 12 years.
No chemo or radiation would touch the type I had and I'm glad it didn't.
I relied on my own body's immune system to fight off any residuals that might
be in the blood or elsewhere.

Now age is catching up, I suppose.
I have been losing my ability to walk and it is progressive.
I've been having tests from a neurology and gait disorder specialty institute
all year. Many things can cause my symptomology.
Surely soon they will give a diagnosis.

The thought of not being able to walk in nature, garden and be confined to where ever this goes is unbearable and I push myself too hard to keep on keeping on.
Then I pay for it with pain, cramps, numbness and fatigue.
Walking across the room is a workout.
But that is where finding what I CAN do and creating inner contentment comes into play.
That is the only advice I can offer. I'm facing it. And no family.
It may not be age either. Disease can happen at any age. Neuromuscular.

Yeah, let's kick back, have a Sangerita and live the glory days!

Age!!!

 

[Slime_Punk]

I feel like my body started falling apart at around 30 and I'm pretty scared for the future as well. I might be younger than some of you, but the amount of problems I have with my body are starting to pile up. A lot of them seem to either have no answer or doctors just shrug their shoulders and make that stupid, "I-uh-kno" sound.

I like to pretend that life is God's 'disaster simulator' (think Sim City or Rimworld, if you're familiar) and we're just a few ticks away from the next scripted event that's going to completely ruin us. You can build your colony, harvest all the right crops at the right time, and still all hell is going to break loose and we all know how it ends.

I have to laugh about my pain or else I'll cry. I hope things get better for you as well.

 

[NeddieTone]

Absolutely any person who is unhappy with their appearance feels redundant and ugly. But all our problems, our complexes, starting from ourselves.

 

[NeddieTone]

Absolutely any person who is unhappy with their appearance feels redundant and ugly. But all our problems, our complexes, starting from ourselves.

For example, I also used to dislike my shoulders and legs. Eventually, I just started working on myself, and everything worked out. First, I actively engaged in sports and gained a couple of pounds because I was very thin. Then I started pumping my legs, resulting in my buttock becoming more elastic. Believe in yourself, work on yourself, and everything will work out!

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

For example, I also used to dislike my shoulders and legs. Eventually, I just started working on myself, and everything worked out. First, I actively engaged in sports and gained a couple of pounds because I was very thin. Then I started pumping my legs, resulting in my buttock becoming more elastic. Believe in yourself, work on yourself, and everything will work out!

Well, circumstances are such that it is a challenge. While I enjoy remaining active there have been challenges this year, as my view of myself has revolved around my activities. The first challenge has been to correct a right thoracic outlet issue, but not before losing a summer of canoeing/kayaking. Now, I am looking at having my chest cracked for heart surgery that for an issue found while in the hospital for a minor issue. Life is sending me curveballs fast and furiously, but I hope to keep my spirits up, even contemplating a zipper tattoo for the inevitable scar.

 

[Judge]

I am just feeling a little off and wonder if it's just going to be a series of breakdowns until I die. Getting old ain't for sissies.

I think about such things a lot now, especially when I do minor physical things and usually pay for them the next morning with all kinds of minor pain. Despite my attempts to stay relative active on a daily basis. So this is old age, eh?

Though in my own case I've avoided having to have any surgery or broken any bones. But time will tell as to whether or not this changes, or that it may be inevitable. Definitely not for sissies.

Though what concerns me most is simply to have been an eyewitness in being my mother's caregiver in the last four years of her life. Tough to watch someone slowly fall apart and know that it could be me as well. Though I will have no one to care for me in such circumstances.