Family get togethers?

[Cazzie]

hi all,
Family get togethers?
what are your thoughts about this?
how do you cope!!

i dont feel i fit in to the type of thing, i rother sit in the corn out of the way
i find it very diffcuite....

take care
cazzie

 

[Ferdinand]

I don't like family gathering, especially not if they encompass eating. The sound is gross.

 

[petrossa]

nope. not for me. But then again i dislike most of my family.

 

[katcha]

My family doesn't do family gatherings.

 

[whale_bone]

you are so lucky katcha. they are so uncomfortable. Its like small talk x 1000. I think of it as a marathon of sorts haha.
I fake having a headache or entertain someone's kid or talk about absurd/ inappropriate things with a senile or otherwise deranged relative (lucky for me my family is full of them). If none of the above are options then I try and turn the conversation to other people ... "Hi Aunt Gertrude, I hear your son Boris is off to college this year. What was he taking again?... blah blah I'm sure he'll love it there." I also save up stories of my own that are amusing and short but sufficiently ordinary so that they don't offend the aunties.

 

[Droopy]

I'm actually alright with family get togethers. We don't often have them anyway. The main gathering that we would have is on Christmas. Usually the Sunday before Christmas we would meet up with my dad's side of the family at one of my uncle's house and have a meal. I don't talk much during this time but I enjoy listening to everyone else talking since I rarely see my dad's side of the family. Generally, the atmosphere is relaxed and everything goes smoothly.

On Christmas day, we would go up to see my mum's side of the family. This isn't as relaxed as my younger twin cousins are there which means some pressure to socialize with them. Usually there would be more activity going on too. The last couple of times, my auntie and uncle (mum's side of the family) have come over from America for the gathering. I find this makes things even more difficult as I don't know what to say to them. Part of me wants to talk and catch up with them and part of me wants to socialize with my brother and twin cousins. Another part of me can't really be bothered doing either. So yes, it is difficult at times but I don't "hate" gatherings.

 

[aschrisd]

I happen to be at one at the moment, I somehow manage to tolerate the noise as long as nobody touches me, that would set me off.
As long as I get some time on my own every so often I'll manage.
I don't do religion-related events (as my family are Christians) because I consider myself an atheist.
I'm generally more talkative after a drink or 2.

 

[IdahoRose]

I hate family get-togethers. I had a lot of family visiting during the spring and the last of them just left a couple of days ago. Don't get me wrong - I really do love my family, but it's really stressful having them over because I'm terrified of making social mistakes and I have to try really hard not to say inappropriate things or engage in my weird habits. They're all very kind and understanding people, it's just... I don't feel comfortable completely letting my guard down around other people. I can't relax.

 

[jaws]

Great topic: wanted to post this last week, but I was too preoccupied with worrying about a it. I had a big family get together this past weekend with my dad's side of the family. They are all "Southern Belle" types; very religious (southern baptist), conservative, primarily lower levels of education, and extremely judgmental. They are always asking when I'm going to visit them...and why we never talk...but I'm there visiting and they call me a couple of times a month. I also, don't really understand the purpose of it? My mom's side of the family would usually plan boating events, or games in the back yard, or play cards, etc. I get that, but I really don't understand the big get together where everyone just sits around in separate little groups telling everyone how good they look, etc. I just want to say, "what is it you people want from me?"

I'm just curious as to how others handle that type of gathering? and does anyone else wonder what the point is with all the "it's been so long, you haven't changed a bit, etc"?

to get through it, I just nod my head and say "yes, I know"...or "okay" a lot. I also end up doing a lot of the setting up, serving, and cleaning up...even though I did not plan the gathering.

 

[Droopy]

The purpose is to get the family together in one place, at the same time and to catch up on what's been going on since you/they last met.

This works well with my family as they live in different towns to myself (my mum's side actually lives in a different county which is a considerable distance away). My dad's side of the family I rarely see, mainly because he works in the family business and thus sees them every day. So he has no need to make house visits. When we meet up for a gathering this gives other family members like myself a chance to catch up on things and see how everyone else is doing. It's really just a social event to keep the family together. Also, on my mum's side of the family, I get to meet my cousins and spend some time with them. These gatherings only happen like once a year, so a lot can have changed/happened in that time.

 

[landlubber]

My family had get togethers every year and I was only invited once.

 

[Droopy]

My family had get togethers every year and I was only invited once.

Only once? Have you expressed an interest in the get together or do they assume you don't like that sort of thing?

 

[landlubber]

I was half brother to the children of that family and I think they found me too strange. It was a complex situation but I felt hurt by their response so I decided to leave them to it.

 

[jaws]

I'm sorry you were treated that way landlubber.

I have some friends who had half-brothers under "complex" circumstances. I always found my friends' behavior strange...they would talk about never getting to know their half-brothers and seemed to genuinely want to, but when the time would come they sort of made their half-brothers pay for their dad's misdeeds by shunning them.

 

[PanPaniscus]

I would enjoy them, problem is my family are too antisocial and boring to even arrange such things. Sure we get visitors, maybe 2 at a time on someone's birthday or christmas but not giant parties where the whole family get together.

 

[KinksFan]

I enjoy the family get togethers and especially if they involve food. I love food.

 

[music.forlife7]

I actually like my family get togethers. I try my best to interact with everyone, even if it means taking a break from talking about my interests (Which can be hard for a person with Asperger's. We have some family recipes that we share. I haven't been involved in one for quite a while though, because as my cousins got older, they got busier with their own families.

 

[Serendipity]

I've never liked family gatherings, mostly because there are a lot of kids around, which means there is a lot of noise. I don't deal with noise that well, so I usually don't go to any gatherings when they happen.