Executive Functioning Post Trauma

[FayetheADHDsquirrel]

Things have been pretty hard since my horse's death and separation from my Mama's horse as well. I have finally started finding some happy moments between the grief and have not cried as much today and yesterday as I had been, but my executive functioning is still pretty bad right now. It was soooo hard just to get three Christmas gifts wrapped. Any advice from others who have struggled with this after losing a friend? I know many people think calling an animal a friend is odd, but I think many of us on here see them that way.

 

[the_tortoise]

Any advice from others who have struggled with this after losing a friend?

Unfortunately I know of no way around this - just be aware of it and plan for it where it matters. Set extra reminders, leave yourself notes, ask for help when you need it if you can.

I know many people think calling an animal a friend is odd, but I think many of us on here see them that way.

I don't think its odd. Non-human animals may not be considered persons in a legal sense, but I have always considered them persons of their own sort, in a moral sense from my individual perspective. My non-human friends were truly my chosen/adopted family, and the grief of losing them when they died was agonizing, and stays with me just like the grief of losing family and closest friends.

I am sorry for your loss.

 

[Judge]

Most of all, to cut yourself a whole lot of slack when you are grieving. And that this process has no "socially acceptable" time limit. Especially for many people in this community, who may cherish their animal friends as much or even more than humans.

A deep sense of loss at Christmas is devastating. Something I must deal with each and every Christmas since 1978. With both my parents dying on the same Wednesday, December 13th, yet 28 years apart.

And much like stages of depression, to try to avoid making critical decisions if and when possible. It seems quite common for grief to negatively impact executive decision-making. Don't feel bad over this emotion. You're still only human, Faye.

Take care....

 

[Rodafina]

Some ideas that helped me when I lost my best friend Leela:

Talk to Cherokee. Tell her what you are doing. We know they aren’t really there, but we can still talk to them as if they were and we can chat with them still.

Be really gentle with yourself. This is so sad. Don’t push yourself too hard to do difficult things. Not right now.

For the things that need to get done, break it down into small steps that you can do one at a time. In such sadness, everything can feel overwhelming, so we have to sort of simplify things for ourselves and take slow small steps through the tasks that must be done.

Allow those that can to support and comfort you – like your mama, and maybe your dogs. Spending time with your dogs might help to stay motivated and engaged in the day. Let your other animal friends in the world comfort you too, like the squirrels and the insects and the creatures that bring you joy.

I think the last thing is just time. It’s not that time makes everything better and takes away the hurt, but with time, you will be able to do things again and not everything will feel quite so desperately hard.