Ever Feel Like Everyone Hates You?

[JMcCauley]

I'm not saying this as a cry for help, I realise it's just my mind telling me things are worse than they are.

Sometimes I feel like all my NT friends and anyone I interact with just wants me to leave them alone, like my existence is a nuisance. I feel like no one wants to talk to me, and even people looking for someone to talk to aren't interested in my attention. It makes me feel very alone, but then when someone offers to have a conversation, I've lost so much confidence that I'm not interested. It's really hard for me because I try to be sociable, and I really like people on an individual basis.

Does anyone else feel this way?

 

[Aspieistj]

I believe most NTs find Aspies annoying. This is not meant to slam NTs, only to point out that we are different and our views are not always of interest to the majority. I find it difficult to make myself struggle to understand a speaker with an impediment, stutter, or heavy foreign accent, and I don't like myself for being so impatient. I also hate solicitors and religious people taking up my time trying to persuade me to do something. I think a lot of NT avoidance is simply behavior like the above mentioned. It is tedious to struggle to follow labored speech or tolerate a discussion which has no importance to me. This is an example of not enjoying a conversation and not necessarily an indication of hatred of the speaker. I often express a "them and us" mentality about NT vs. Aspie behavior. People are pack animals and I believe NTs prefer each other. I have not had much opportunity to interact face to face with other Aspies but I do believe it would be easy to feel more relaxed in their company because they are kind of like my kin.

 

[Suzanne]

Oh do I ever!!!!! My goodness! I feel that I am a terrible nuisance to people and so, try and be as invisible as possible. I am obsessed with not asking for things, because I have already decided that the answer is going to be no or I get the impression of: oh she is bothersome.

So very difficult in a world filled with nts, which is why I love being on here

 

[Kirsty]

I'm the same, J McCauley. It's come to a point that I've lost the basic social skills that a one-to-one feels extremely uncomfortable, especially when the other person stops speaking. Like they speak and I just nod and 'agree'. Hate this part of myself.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

I thought about what you said and came up with this. I believe life is moving so fast now that people only have so much "free time" to spend with friends or entertainment. I find myself in different "moods" and "time limits" that I want to spend my free time in the best way possible. Most times these days is through text. I have to really think about whether I want to call my friend Mary because the phone conversations tend to be quite lengthy - sometimes 5 hours, but that doesn't mean she isn't a good friend. It may be surprising to hear an NT say this, but I actually spend most of my time here with Aspies. The conversations are interesting and some are in depth and really make me think. I can also choose what topics I want to read and address and leave whenever I want with no expectations. If you're having problems socializing with your friends in person or on the phone, it's probably because those forms of communication are for instant gratification and from what I gather aren't the best ways for Aspies to communicate. It's probably nothing personal, people just want to spend what time they have these days in the best way possible. I've read on some posts how Aspies aren't interested in a conversation unless it is about a subject they find interesting and NT's are really no different. People want to be around positive people with the same interests as themselves. Find whatever interests you and your friends have in common and talk about those.

 

[The Penguin]

Not much for hate, but people do not understand.

If I consider all the issues I face, people don't understand those that struggle with written and spoken communication. Many people assume people struggle in their area is under educated and lazy. Some of these people assume people weak in this area have a lack of intelligence. They don't consider there is people like me have a language based learning disability which is beyond my control. I find people make the wrong assumptions should educate them self more and understand the person before saying their comment.

As those assume its lack of intelligence, consider this text from Hidden Disabilities: Common Myths About Learning Disabilities (LD)

"Myth #1: People with learning disabilities have below average intelligence and cannot learn."

"Reality: By definition, students with LD must be average or above in intelligence as measured by an individual IQ test and have a significant discrepancy between their ability and achievement. In fact, studies indicate that as many as 33% of students with LD are gifted. Students with LD can learn and succeed in college. It takes proper recognition, intervention and lots of hard work."

As how do I stand for this? Well, I did graduate from college in a three year program as a software developer with a 3.5 GPA. I also developed software for many companies.

 

[Keith]

I have a history of annoying people when I constantly say what's on my mind. I just feel I have to talk about every thought I have.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

I find it difficult to make myself struggle to understand a speaker with an impediment, stutter, or heavy foreign accent,

This used to be me too. I have actually changed that to some extent after being on this site. I now try to put myself in their place and this has made me more tolerant. I know how hard they must be trying to get across what they want to say. One problem I still have though is with doctors that have a heavy accent - they get mad at me for not understanding them and asking them to repeat themselves several times. I find them not to be too understanding and tolerant of me. I know I keep asking them to repeat themselves, but it's important to make sure I get the right orders they are giving.

 

[DogwoodTree]

"Hate" is a strong word...but I do feel like they don't particularly enjoy having me around.

I feel like being with me is such a struggle for people that I'm actually doing them a favor when I give them space...then the high-needs people feel like I'm rejecting them and they get their feelings hurt, but I don't really want to spend time with emotional leeches anyway (the ones who need constant affirmation in order to feel valuable)...and the healthier people just give me whatever space I create and I have no idea how to make myself a good part of their lives.

 

[ayoungaspie]

Like others I wouldn't say hate, it is more that people don't care whether I am around or not. Maybe in some cases they would prefer I wasn't around, but rarely do I get the impression that someone hates me.

I think this is one of the reasons why I tend to always wait for others to invite me to be around rather than contact them myself, that way I feel wanted. But then again it has caused me to drift away from people who I was casually friends with, because in their eyes I'm showing little interest.

 

[Naturalist]

I'm not saying this as a cry for help, I realise it's just my mind telling me things are worse than they are.

Sometimes I feel like all my NT friends and anyone I interact with just wants me to leave them alone, like my existence is a nuisance. I feel like no one wants to talk to me, and even people looking for someone to talk to aren't interested in my attention. It makes me feel very alone, but then when someone offers to have a conversation, I've lost so much confidence that I'm not interested. It's really hard for me because I try to be sociable, and I really like people on an individual basis.

Does anyone else feel this way?

Congratulations, you have just described my current (and recurrent) social state. Feel not alone...

 

[JDartistic]

What's hard for me is that I lose friends. I make friends easily but after a few months (& sometimes years), I'll do something Asperger's & they tend to run for the hills. Now that I'm older, this is troubling me. I'm becoming too isolated. I worry about my future & not having a support system.

 

[ironica]

Everyday... i won't to tell about my ungratefulness list, cuz nobody likes human who is crabbing all time and doesn't control his/her body to shut mouth up.

 

[Sev]

All the time.