Empathy or something more?

[Rachel Albritton]

You know whats funny? I have trouble picking up on social cues but when i'm around others i feed off their emotions. Even the emotions they don't portray. Like, if someone is nervous around me, even when they're not showing it, I"m nervous around them. If they are sad i am suddenly really sad even though deep down i'm not sad (or anxious). I then leave from that person and I'm calmer. Is that weird? Am I reading too much into it? Has any other aspie feel this way? I HAVE TO KNOW I'M NOT ALONE! lol.

Rachel

 

[Turk]

Many of us mirror what we see in society. When someone is anxious or sad around me, I don't know how to comfort them, and succumb to what they are projecting. It's not that we don't display empathy, it's just we show it a different way. You are not alone in this observation. Welcome to the club.

 

[Wintertime]

You are not alone. I am very deeply empathic, although I've managed to subconsciously learn ways to adapt so that I'm not walking around picking up everything from everyone around me, through time and experience. Knowledge and awareness of it is the first step, for many years I didn't understand what the nature of it was, and didn't understand that most people did not have this experience.

Adapting doesn't take the empathy away from me, and I wouldn't want it to, because empathy is a beautiful quality, but one that has to be mastered. I've learned some ways of protecting myself because otherwise I'd be walking down the street and picking up everything from everyone. I feel like a raw nerve sometimes.

Sometimes my empathy turns off altogether and I end up locked in my own headworld, but that is a self protection mechanism as well. I'm still learning. I don't want to lose my empathy, because it is a precious quality but it definitely can be a challenge to master. It can create problems for others though, so I want to get that mastery over it so that it doesn't do more harm than good in the sense of the mirror effect described, as well as other contraindications. I am learning to control my feelings and reactions so that the buck stops here.

Instead of my empathy driving me, I need to drive it.

 

[Rachel Albritton]

wow winter! that was extremely helpful! what are some ways that you have mastered your empathic ways?

 

[Wintertime]

Thank you Rachel. That's kind of you to say. I don't feel I have mastered it, but I am trying and I have noticed where I've adapted as opposed to how I've handled it in the past. I will think about this and get back to you. I need to muse about it to share my experiences and it's actually an issue that has been quite prominent in my life lately, so I'd rather delve into analysis before I can share anything worthwhile. :}

 

[Tyler Ford]

Yeah, even though I'm still a teenager, I have a difficult time projecting my feelings to whoever's sad or nervous or things of that nature. My habit is usually if someone is sad (I don't mean to do this), I always smile for some reason. I guess I feel uncomfortable in those situations and have trouble portraying my emotions.

 

[Rachel Albritton]

Tyler I know exactly what you mean. I do the same thing. Its kinda like an awkward smile that doesnt mean you are happy for them, more like you are here for them to talk to. i do that with a lot of people.

 

[Tyler Ford]

I do that too. I mean I don't smile just to smile. I smile because I want to be there for them. They may think I would come across as insensitive but really I'm very sensitive. I just have a strange way of showing my emotions.